Does your partner text you?

[Littlelolly2727]

Weird one perhaps, but do you hear from your partner throughout the day if you're apart?
Me and my oh both go out to work all day everyday so don't see each other from 8-5 most days. In the early days we would text constantly through the day. Now I don't hear a peep! It's annoying because I always find time to drop him a quick message just to see how he is or tell him I'm thinking of him.
He never texts first and if I don't get in touch we just won't speak until we get home.
It's not a big deal but I do think it shows a lack of effort. Even if he's busy, it takes 10 seconds to type a text!
I've stopped getting in touch now because it annoys me that he doesn't make the effort. If I do text he will reply so it's not like he has no access to his phone.
Do other people's partners do this?

Hardly ever, sometimes office gossip, mostly 'ran out of kitchen roll can you pick some up...'

Yes. I get a message every morning asking if I got in OK. He will always say have a nice day and occasionally will tell me he loves me.

We used to text loads in the beginning but we have 4 children and busy jobs.

Do you see texting as him showing he cares?

@HugoBearsMummy

Is it bad that I have, on a few occasions hung up on people and text later to say I lost signal 😂

It's really normal to text constantly at first then it die down when you move in. I get how you're feeling and I feel the same sometimes for example if he's out and doesn't check in for hours I can get the hump a bit (unjustified so keep it to myself - you feel how you feel 🤷🏻‍♀️).. Only because roles reversed I always manage to check in so why should he, but everyone's different don't let it get to you it isn't worth bickering over. Tbh I don't think it's the actual texting you're unhappy about, it's the menaning and thought behind it, and the effort you make that isn't returned?

I guess I just like to let him know I'm thinking of him

Well, there’s nothing wrong with that but I’d wonder why you felt the need to do that?

Do you need reassurance?
Are you unhappy during the day? Do you do it because you think it makes his day better?

My DH and I have been together for 30 years, married 20. We have a brilliant relationship but we don’t ever text or call during the day without reason.

Now the reason might be “I’ll be home late” or it might be “having a bad day, let me vent” but not “just to say Hi”

Bear in mind that constant texting is a new thing. It’s not a required part of a happy relationship.

If anything I’d suggest that constant texting is a sign of insecurity in a relationship.

Yes, we have always kept in contact throughout the day. We don’t message as much since moving in together because we tend to leave it until we’re together in the evening but we still do send a few texts. I mostly send him photos of baby DS now I’m on mat leave .

It depends.
Some days we will text/call if there is something urgent-we moved house last year and texts and calls were many and frequent. Now we are settled I usually just text to give him my ETA so he can decide whether to wait for me for dinner.

I don’t need daily texts to feel secure though, I was much needier in the past, much less so now.

Should have known that a quick opinion poll would result in me being called needy, it is Mumsnet after all
I don't expect constant texts or reassurance, just think it's nice to check in once a day while we are apart for 9 hours lol. He would text constantly when we first got together, really long lovely messages throughout the day. Now it's nothing.
I get that some people don't feel the need to communicate unless there's something specific to say but there seems to be plenty who do still keep in touch regularly just because they enjoy talking to their oh.

We exchange a fee messages during the day, generally revolving dinner or weekend plans, or can you pick up x, y or z. Or I've seen something online for the house I like etc.

Our messages aren't generally chit chat during the day and we see each other in the evenings as we live together.

@Loulzze Your last sentence pretty much nailed it 👌🏻

Not really, I work PT but we work in the same department (different teams) so it's easy to see each other if we're both at work but if I'm home I might text him a couple tones if I need to but I never expect anything back as he often doesn't have signal or time to get his phone out while at work. Neither do I if I'm at work and he's at home.
I suppose it's something eve just got used to really and as we kind of work together it doesn't matter so much!

I text dh regularly, with important things like pick dd up at 4pm, he’ll respond by calling me - he hates texting. Drives me mad as i work in open plan office

Set an every day alarm on his phone titled "time to declare your love for lolly via text" Pick a time that suits you if has a flexible routine.

Dh texts me throughout the day if he's not busy at work. Sometimes it's me that texts good morning to him first or vice versa, some days we don't text at all,but I don't get upset about it, just means he's busy.

Yes, mostly from his office in the house to ask if the kettle is on. If he was out at work he would usually text me in the afternoon just to say what time he will be home.

Before I was on maternity leave yes we’d text each other a little. My job was pretty hectic so it really was just a little and we’d sometimes have a quick call. I find this a good balance. I’ve had unhealthy relationships previously where I was expected to basically live on my phone which I just hated.

I don’t think it’s weird he doesn’t text - horses for courses and all that but perhaps you could speak to him to let him know you’d appreciate a few touches throughout the day. Cheesy I know but it really doesn’t brighten my day to receive an “I love you” from my boyfriend.

My dp does when ever he can, which isn't often due to his job. He just wants to check I'm good and send some love or vent ( due to job) but then he has always messaged more. If I'm out with friends he won't get hardly anything from me as I focus on who I'm with and what I'm doing.
People see texting differently. It's not needy wanting a message he just may not be that person but he could at least try a little for you.

Yes tbh he's not a big phone user at the best of times so I don't take it personally but as a pp said, it does brighten your day up to receive a little 'I love you' and given that it takes minimal effort I'm not sure why he can't manage it once in a while lol

I think asking for a text like that everyday IS needy.

I work during the day but Dp works nights. We do text like that ocxassionally, but usually when we text it's for a reason.today Dp text me to find out what time I was home and then later to see what I wanted for dinner and which clothes I wanted washing.

This morning I text him to see if he wanted breakfast when he got in.

I do find setting a 'once a day you must text and say you are thinking of me a bit needy. Sorry.

I don't think about Dp that much at work
I run a HR department for a company that has 140k employees. I don't have time to think about going to the toilet most of the time. My phone is out, in case it rings, or school contacts me or a work related call.comes through. That doesn't mean I have time to text. I will reply to dp while walking to a meeting. That's about the free time I have.

Dp is the same.

Not really, maybe the odd one if there is something specific to discuss / check - like dates if someone's been asked to do something, we check with the other that the date is free. But generally not for no reason. no, 'hi how are you', we are busy!

When we were first together then yes, there was constant contact, but 11 years later nope!

I think asking for a text like that everyday IS needy

So do I. Incredibly

No, unless he needs to tell me something urgently.

He would text constantly when we first got together, really long lovely messages throughout the day. Now it's nothing.

Because he was insecure when you first got together and now he’s happy and comfortable.

He could diarise texting you every day to keep you happy but it would be meaningless surely?

I know someone who serially cheated on his wife but diarised buying her flowers, chocolates and little gifts every 6 weeks or so. It kept her happy but it was meaningless.

Yes, most days at least, there is the odd day when we don't.
Sometimes we speak too but it is normally via whatsapp.
We normally have something to talk about, for example, "what are we having for dinner tonight? can you stop in the supermarket to buy x, y and z?" or today to remind him that he will be the one picking DD up from the childminder. Sometimes he contacts me first, sometimes I do.
I am not sure if I will be texting him only to say I was thinking of him though...

Together 7 years and text each other a good few times during the day and most days a quick call at lunch as well. He isn't the most romantic or emotional normally so I think this is his week he's comfortable with. I'll get random photos of things too, but I like it as think it's his way of sharing his day with me