Who has worked in escorting?

[Ely7891]

I’m a single mum with little support system, I can barely afford to keep the roof over our heads. I’m seriously considering escorting, a high end agency want to meet with me to discuss it further. It’s run by a young female, their booking procedure for new clients is rigorous and these guys are paying hundreds.. so far it seems as safe a way to do this. Until then I want to hear from women who have done this. Not interested in hearing judgement; I’ve scraped by for 4 years, I’ve worked hard, I’ve taken further training, I’ve moved houses, I’ve sold my possessions, I’ve watched my kids have just a card for Christmas. I can NOT get ahead of myself and now I’m in debt. I want to take charge back of my life and if this is the way to go, so be it. So please if any ladies out there who have experience, I’d be very grateful for your insight. Thank you x

Do you have a confirmed regular nighttime babysitter for the kids?
You do realise that the sex industry operates 24/7. I work mainly day times unless a reg has asked me to do a later meeting. Many escorts work during the day, it's not something that is restricted to when the sun goes down.

You're never too old to do it. I see very well reviewed escorts who are in their 60's.

And lastly- can you afford a pre-starting level of 'grooming' and clothing which may be required?
That would be the basics of hygiene anyway. Optional makeup, same with false nails. I wear minimal make-up, just BB cream, mascara and some lip balm. And make sure my nails and feet are always well presented as I always have. Initially Primark for cheap underwear. And a skirt/trousers and top or a dress. My favourite clothing is a pair of trousers from Matalan £5 and a sheer top I bought from Primark for around £8. And a dress I bought for around a tenner in a sale. Really bank-breaking stuff. (Obviously, I have more clothing and as I made money invested more in the clothing). Although the initial condom spend can be high as you need a variety of sizes.

Many escorts you wouldn't know they were doing it because they look just like everyone else.

FlipF - I rigorously screen. I look at FB of potential new clients. Had I just gone out with one guy from Tinder without getting into a proper conversation I would have been raped. Just unlike escorting there is nowhere to report these guys to alert others. I was also in a very highly abusive marriage. And of course, I am aware of the risks I take every time I meet someone. I went into this with my eyes fully open.

And yes it is like looking at a menu. Even for us. I might decide today I can only be arsed giving footjobs. Full sex I will book for another day.

Op whatever you decide good luck. As you have seen from here you will get judgements. Hence a lot of advice to head over to saafe and even ukescorting to talk to other workers. And ukpunting to look at the reviews and what guys are looking for.

Go in with your eyes open. Yes sex will be a feature. For the unfortunate ones, violence also is a real threat. But as you will see on saafe there is specialist support out there, and these also run a database of abusers and cons. You can get info about your nearest sex worker positive gum clinic and even coffee mornings.

You may decide after doing it a few times, that actually it's not for you. It's fine because it's not for everyone. It takes a certain assertive person to be able to do this. And someone who is confident with themselves and their body.

If you do decide to continue and like it. Once you have declared yourself as SE this opens up other doors to making legit investments.

Have a goal beyond treating the kids that looks at the long-term. And give yourself a realistic amount of time to get out and do something else. Just take into consideration, the work isn't guaranteed and you will have days when there simply is nothing. Work out realistically what you need to live and that's your monthly target. Anything over gets squirrelled into savings to start with. Especially whilst you are establishing yourself whether agency or indie.

More Ponting out that it would be the same for any woman, regardless of their work. It would be fecking awful. Wasn't meaning to imply anyone had said a sex worker was 'asking for it' juts that many women are judged for the situation they find themselves in when they are attacked, and I assume they all feel as angered and disempowered by it.

OP, are you currently working? You haven't answered anything about your current job. Would you be able to disclose it?

It's just people may be able to help you move up in your current profession or suggest steps you could take to move on.

newer I can appreciate you are hurt but you are directing your anger at the wrong person. The op asked for advice from women in that line of work - she is desperate.

It's cruel to attack women working an escorts with sarcastic comments - your husband chose to cheat on you not them.

@compostcorner I never said you are more likely to be raped as an escort. I said along the lines of let's be realistic, rape can happen at any time in civvy life.

I disagree that the guys don't have respect for us. They are just guys and some are good some are bad. You cannot slate a whole sex based on the bad apples. Any reputable escort talks about services during the initial contact. If it is felt that boundaries will be crossed there is no meeting. Of course, they do get past screening, however, it's the streetwalkers that are the most likely to be abused. Which we are also alerted about their abusers. And each escort will have something in place for their own protection. I just implore any hooker to not talk about these on an open forum.

to bethy15, you said i misquoted you when you said and i quote from a copy and paste "To want to tick a black woman off of your list as if she were some kind of fetish" so what have i misunderstood, yes i do want to meet her because she is black, in the same way i want to want to meet an english woman over 30, or am i being ageist now.

Compostcorner, of course 'choosing' an escort is different from looking at a dating site. On a dating site, women can say no to you. Which, by your own admission, they do. Which is why you pay for sex instead.

Compostcorner can I ask if you are not able to get a real girlfriend? Is that why you have I pay for sex?

Have to

I’m not romanticing it in anyway, and yes having sex isn’t exactly something I dreamt of doing when I was little. But It pays well and I have no one to help

My advice is that you stop calling it 'Escorting' and start calling it 'Prostitution'.

That way you can make an honest decision about this.

Compostcorner has explicitly said that he can't get sex without paying for it.

Form a queue ladies. This one's a catch.

Also, must know a lot about women if the only ones he has any contact with require him to pay them.

LOC mpotcoener or whatever, do you have a question thst you're holding in rreseive

those of us in countrires where were not so unlenlightend, we might neeed to wait a bit

I'll be here all night.

Agree with Worra. I’ve read most of this thread thinking it’s exactly the same as being a prostitute.
OP I really feel for you. But your dignity, safety and mental health are more important.

Escorting is a branch of prostitution, nobody kids themselves otherwise but it is organised, usually involves dining out or lunch, talking, dressing well. Escorts or call girls are better paid than those who pick people up on the street and they see less clients. There are also less risk on many levels.

It can be hard work but a lot of the time it isn't. There are plenty of call girls who have a job already, maybe a good one, but they 'go out' a couple of nights a week to earn extra cash. Some women work part time and do calls on their days off. Many students are also escorts.

The beauty of the work is being able to do as many or few hours as they choose and have time off when they want.

I laughed over the remark about catching herpes. Anyone at all who is sexually active can catch herpes! Regarding other sexually transmitted diseases, women are more likely to take risks if they are not prostitutes. For a prostitute it is very important to be free from disease, their livelihood depends on it. It's also a fact that the clients want to keep themselves clean and are fussy.

Op, these are the type of men you will be dealing with. Read their 'reviews', see what type of person they seem to be and how angry they are that the women aren't enjoying themselves (which is why the women say they like it and the good actresses make the most money). Or the one that said that he couldn't have sex because she was 'constantly moving away' yet he persisted for 10 minutes, what kind of man does that?

They seem to think they are decent men. Judge for yourself whether this is the type of man you want to deal with. Try and imagine why the prostitute reacted like she did and how she was feeling. Do you want to risk feeling like that?

But it's no different in my eyes from meeting a stranger in a club allowing a man to wine and dine you then shagging and never seeing again confused

It's different because when I meet a man for a hook up I'm a) looking for a man I'm attracted to b) looking to have a reciprocal good time and c) expect him to be focused on my sexual pleasure as much as his.

If I'm hooking up with a guy I'm not going with anyone who can afford to buy me dinner or doing whatever the guy wants me to do and nothing I want.

jesstan if the OP decides to sleep with some clients, that makes her a prostitute.

If she can make peace with that, then it'll really help with her decision.

If she can't and insists on calling herself an 'Escort', I think that'll speak volumes and may encourage her to think deeper.

so is paying for sex the only way i can get it, yes it is, there are very personal reasons for this, and yes i am single so not cheating on anybody, i realise that anybody in a healthy sexual relationship with a loving partner will have trouble with the fact that people want to pay for sex, and the women want to recieve money for sex, why cant all you dogooders just let us get on with it, i came on here to offer advise to the OP from a mans point of view, but i just get slagged off, but i"ll keep going if i think i have something to say

However, a lot of people, like, maybe, OP, do it for a lack of viable alternatives. That's not really a choice, it is desperation, and I believe society has responsibility to create conditions where this, a woman entering prostitution for a lack of alternatives to make a living, does not happen

I didn’t say ‘ah, sex work is work* deepwatersolo, I said sex work is work. I feel the ‘ah’ adds a level of flippancy I didn’t actually use?

But anyway, I don’t see it as any different from the desperation that forces women and men into crappy low paid insecure zero hour contract jobs like stacking shelves at Tesco for less than £8 per hour. The need to make a living is what forces most of us into work, it’s a privileged few who can say they’d choose to work their job even if they were wealthy. When I stacked shelves at a supermarket, a job that requires zero brains, I was exchanging the use of my body for an hour for cash. I don’t see sex work as any different if the people involved see sex as something valuable they can barter with. A man putting his penis into me is only meaningful in some deeper way if that’s the way I see sex.

Of course I wish that our society provided plenty of well paid, interesting jobs for everyone, so nobody felt forced into any work they didn’t want to be doing. But that’s not the reality. Sex work is work and to suggest otherwise is pretty denigrating to the people grafting their arses off doing it for a living.

i came on here to offer advise to the OP from a mans point of view

The OP has not asked for your advice though, has she? She has asked for advice from people who work in the industry.

Would you assume you knew how to run a hotel because you have stayed in one? Would you tell Tesco's how to run their stores because you have shopped there? I hope not. While you are entitled to your opinion, you are not entitled to give unsolicited advice.

I would actually advise anyone new to the industry to screen out men with an attitude like yours.

You are right @VietnameseCrispyFish we all sell our bodies one way or another.

we all sell our bodies one way or another

no we don't

Unless you're saying that selling your labour is the same as having strange men penetrate your orifices for sexual gratification? Cos it really isn't

So, Vietnamese, you would be ok with job centers handing out escort jobs from agencies to women and sanctioning them for not taking the job, just the same way as with any job? Yeah I disagree.