Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Flip

1 2 ··· 6 7 8 ··· 17 18

Original poster

Who has worked in escorting?

427 replies

Ely7891 · 16/01/2019 12:52

I’m a single mum with little support system, I can barely afford to keep the roof over our heads. I’m seriously considering escorting, a high end agency want to meet with me to discuss it further. It’s run by a young female, their booking procedure for new clients is rigorous and these guys are paying hundreds.. so far it seems as safe a way to do this. Until then I want to hear from women who have done this. Not interested in hearing judgement; I’ve scraped by for 4 years, I’ve worked hard, I’ve taken further training, I’ve moved houses, I’ve sold my possessions, I’ve watched my kids have just a card for Christmas. I can NOT get ahead of myself and now I’m in debt. I want to take charge back of my life and if this is the way to go, so be it. So please if any ladies out there who have experience, I’d be very grateful for your insight. Thank you x

OP posts:

compostcorner · 17/01/2019 15:44

i know that escorting is a full time job for some girls, but by proper job i mean going for an interview, being able to speak a decent level of english, and pay tax, we would all love a job that could pay up to £1000 a week cash in the hand. and i"ve nothing against eastern europeans, we have several in our office, their english is very good and they are very hard working. i know most of you think the whole escort thing is seedy and not very nice, but thats not always the case, just have a little faith in people.

notwhitedee · 17/01/2019 15:45

Also to the people saying how disgusting men are for doing this, majority of the men I saw was older or businessman so full of control at work all week they just wanted to let out steam and have a good companion to do something other than play hard for a whilst. Others were lonely and didn't have the confidence or time to meet a new wife or girlfriend so just chose to meet an escort. I don't look down on any man who uses escort we all have our own kinks and rules in life.

Myheartbelongsto · 17/01/2019 15:56

Also it's not good to text a client incase he is married so you usually wait for them to call you.

Yuk.

deepwatersolo · 17/01/2019 15:56

Sex 👏🏻 Work 👏🏻 IS 👏🏻 Work 👏🏻

No, I have a problem with this statement. Not because I don't respect the women (and men) who do it or cause I do not appreciate it takes skills (psychology, street smartness...) to do it. I also appreciate that there are people who freely choose doing it and have no qualms it.

However, a lot of people, like, maybe, OP, do it for a lack of viable alternatives. That's not really a choice, it is desperation, and I believe society has responsibility to create conditions where this, a woman entering prostitution for a lack of alternatives to make a living, does not happen.

Now when you say 'ah, sex work is just work', logically you absolve society from taking responsibility for (mostly) women on the margins who are up against the wall. After all they can still do sex work, which is just some type of work, right?

BoglingToAswad · 17/01/2019 16:08

but by proper job i mean going for an interview, being able to speak a decent level of english, and pay tax, we would all love a job that could pay up to £1000 a week cash in the hand.

I can assure you that I pay tax. Do you assume all businesses dealing in cash are on the fiddle? You say you have no problem with eastern Europeans but that is hard to believe when you have singled them out to insult.

One of the main annoyances of sex work is people who make ridiculous assumptions about you and your morals based on your job.

If you are interested in sex work, by the way, there are a significant number of gay male escorts. All you have to do is have sex with men, but since you don't consider that work, I'm sure it's not an issue for you.

Newerversion · 17/01/2019 16:09

“I don't look down on any man who uses escort we all have our own kinks and rules in life.”
I do, if you could see the devastation it caused my children when their father chose to do so and our marriage was destroyed (despite him begging me to forgive him ) then I think you might look down on him. He is scum as are so many married men who use escorts. Nice to read on here that the escorts help out their married clients by not calling them though. Very thoughtful.

Newerversion · 17/01/2019 16:10

Or texting them.

twattymctwatterson · 17/01/2019 16:11

The "John" on the thread sounds like your typical "nice guy". Guess what, you can't buy consent.

Frosty66611 · 17/01/2019 16:12

Myself (and pretty much every escort I knew) all paid tax on their earnings because they wanted to be able to do things that everyone else does such as purchase property (plus they didn’t want to be doing anything illegal by not declaring their income and possibly getting themselves into all kinds of shit).
I’m sure it’s the same for any self employed person who doesn’t want to spend their life hiding cash under their mattress and running from the tax man

compostcorner · 17/01/2019 16:14

i agree that doing out of desperation just for the money is wrong, if its something you enjoy and you can get paid for it then do it. i believe rightly or wrongly that the girls i have met enjoy what they do. and by doing it on adultwork i can choose who i see, my filters are set for english girls over 30 with a bit of meat on them, i dont like the blonde skinny ones which society proclaim are pretty models. but the escorts can pick and choose as well, i have a profile with face pictures on there, so they can always say no, and some have.

compostcorner · 17/01/2019 16:19

i would like to say by picking and choosing you can get to meet lots of different lovely people, for the escorts and the men, i would like to say my next meeting would be nice if it was a black girl, something i have never done before, but if i do i will get the mumsnet racist brigade after me saying "you cant call her black"

Newerversion · 17/01/2019 16:22

Wow. You see it like choosing from a menu. Hmmm, what do I fancy today? What have I not ‘had’ yet?

bethy15 · 17/01/2019 16:29

Compost, it's ironic you don't want to be judged, yet judge EE women who do the job you are paying other women for, but somehow bleieve they are too lazy to get a proper job.

So what? The British women you pay to have sex with aren't any of those things and are doing it because it's such a great option having your body violated for cash?

Honestly, if an EE woman is doing it, it's for exactly the same reasons as a British woman. Honestly, your opinions are quite disrespectful of EE women, they may not be your type, but that doesn't mean they are too lazy to get a job or educate themselves. You haven't said that to the OP.

You also strike me as the same as the OP, telling yourself exactly what you feel you need to hear.

bethy15 · 17/01/2019 16:32

You can call a woman black, however it is racist to treat her race like a fetish you want to tick off your list, as you just did....

twattymctwatterson · 17/01/2019 16:43

something I've never done before

Your language betrays your real views on women

SD1978 · 17/01/2019 16:51

Do you have a confirmed regular nighttime babysitter for the kids? How many evenings/nights do you want to work, and does that match with their expectations of how often they want you to work? As others have said- check for the potential hidden costs- minders fee, etc if you're taken to the place you're meeting. I've never done it. Now too old to do it. No one needs to know your business. Is the website private or public view with the companyt you're considering? And lastly- can you afford a pre starting level of 'grooming' and clothing which may be required?

FlipF · 17/01/2019 17:18

theworldistoosmall
“How would you feel if you got raped?

Let's be honest here. This can happen to anyone at any time. I could have been raped by any of the random guys I was meeting from Tinder before I started doing this. A partner. Someone from a club. Work colleague. Walking down a quiet road etc

Well, if we are actually being honest, you are far, far more likely to be raped if you are a prostitute than in any of the examples you’ve given. I sure you know that though.

BoglingToAswad · 17/01/2019 17:19

Do you have a confirmed regular nighttime babysitter for the kids?

I never work after 7pm, and my mornings are very busy. People have sex in the daytime too, so not all sex workers work evenings or nights.

And lastly- can you afford a pre starting level of 'grooming' and clothing which may be required?

If the grooming and dressing required for escorts is expensive then clearly I am doing it wrong! All you need to be is clean, well presented and usually in a nice dress (my favourite work dresses cost between £6-20 from Amazon).

I've never done it. Now too old to do it.

No such thing as too old, fat, tall etc in sex work or camming, fortunately. Not all men want a 20 year old size 8 who looks like a model.

There are so many misconceptions about sex work, and if you haven't done it you probably shouldn't be giving advice. That said, it is very nice to see a non-sex worker on here give advice that is not patronising or judgemental.

kidsneedfathers · 17/01/2019 17:47

OP I repeat what I said: if you go for it , I will just wish good luck. But please please don't blow the money on expensive toys and holidays for your kids. I know as a mum your heart is bleeding bevause you cant spoil them in Christmas and take them on fancy holidays. Please please invest in their education. Holidays are also educational if they are judiciously chosen. Please please try to give better choices and opportunities to your kids...

SD1978 · 17/01/2019 17:51

@BoglingToAswad- absolutely not judgmental- if it's a choice someone makes, then I have no right to judge and never would. OP clearly feels this to be a valid option, and I'm glad she's had support from people within the industry- I assumed that a nice dress or two would be needed, and appearing neat- which I know would require me to have nails done, eyebrows done, hair cut, and actually to own a dress. I hadn't realised that were was enough dat appointments that could be an option, but would appear bit juts a school hours gig from what you're saying potentially? I was only going on what I would feel I would need to do to get 'business ready' if considering a similar route.

compostcorner · 17/01/2019 17:57

to answer the above statements,
newerversion says its like looking at a menu, of course it is, its no different to any legitimate dating site, you have a look and you choose who you like, your point is irrelevant.

bethy15 says if i meet a black woman its some sort of fetish, that just shows how intelligent she is, my statement says i have never met a black girl and i would like to, how can that be a fetish.

theworldistosmall says escorts are more likely to be raped, absolute rubbish, the drunk teenager walking home in skimpy clothes tottering on her heels alone at night after a nightclub is more likely to be raped.

to all of you concerned about my views on eastern european women, i can only speak from my personal experience, i do actually spend a bit of time talking to these women, when i started doing this i did meet a few rumanians and bulgarians, who told me they did it because it was easier than getting a " proper job " in a foreign country, i"m only telling you what they told me. one of my workmates is a Czechoslovakian woman, and she is lovely, happily married, speaks great english and a good laugh.

and lastly my name is not john its phil

SD1978 · 17/01/2019 18:02

I also don't really understand and the how would you feel if you were raped responses. The same as any other woman, in any other situation, where they are attacked one would assume? You're 'asking for it' if you're a sex worker. You're 'asking for it' if you go home with someone. You're 'asking for it' if you're drunk in public. You're 'asking for it' if you walk home alone. You're 'asking for it' if you're in a short skirt. You're 'asking for it' juts by virtue of being a woman.

bethy15 · 17/01/2019 18:10

bethy15 says if i meet a black woman its some sort of fetish, that just shows how intelligent she is, my statement says i have never met a black girl and i would like to, how can that be a fetish.

That's not quite what I said, perhaps give it another read and see if you can understand it a little clearer.
To want to tick a black woman off of your list as if she were some kind of fetish, as if it didn't even matter who she was or what she looked like, just because she was black and that is all, then yes, that is racist.

I don't need to prove my own intelligence to you, thank you. I could comment about your intelligence, by certain things that are very obvious, but I haven't out of politeness.

FlipF · 17/01/2019 18:16

I also don't really understand and the how would you feel if you were raped responses

No one has said prostitutes are asking to be raped or anything remotely like it. It's a fact that you are far more likely to be raped if you are a prostitute so it's not stupid to try and imagine how you would deal with it if it happened to you.

bethy15 · 17/01/2019 18:19

I don't think anyone is saying a sex worker is asking to be raped, or it excuses the behaviour.

However it is naive not to believe that it increases the chances. Men are paying for sex, if you then decide not to do what they want, even if it's not what they paid for, they get angry and think they are entitled to it anyway.
The type of men who pay and treat women like this do not have a great respect for women, their ownership of their own bodies or that no is even something they can say.

Flip

1 2 ··· 6 7 8 ··· 17 18