Haven’t heard from my boyfriend since Saturday

[ihavetogoshoppingnow]

We’ve been dating for 6 months we’re not the type that text each other all day long but we always message each other good morning and usually have some kind of text conversation in a day.

I left his house Saturday lunchtime and he was getting ready to meet his friends in town for food then they were going out out later on we talked a little but while he was out then around 9pm I text him saying have a good night and let me know when your home he said he would and text me saying good night. Woke up Sunday morning and he hadn’t text so I text him the usual good morning and asked about his night I didn’t hear anything all day but assumed he was just sleeping/hungover I text him again Sunday night asking if he was alright and the message didn’t deliver I tried to ring him and it went straight to voicemail and has done ever since. I assumed at first he’d just lost his phone in his flat and let it die (this happens a lot he’s not the type who’s always got his phone in his hand) but he was supposed to be going out again last night for New Years and the phone is still dead so I’m starting to get really worried because he wouldn’t have gone out without it.

Not really sure why I’m posting or what help people could be but I just needed to talk to someone, maybe have some reassurance?

I can understand why you are so worried op. I would ask a friend to visit his flat. My gut instinct tells me has ghosted you or sees your relationship as casual. Whichever, I don't think he feels the same way about you.

I'm sorry but all these people suggesting driving around with two children in the car and having it out with him: have you no self-respect? Would you really put little kids through that?

If he has ghosted her (or is in bed with a monster hangover) as seems the most likely explanation, OP has nothing to gain whatsoever, she risks upsetting her children by forcing them to watch a scene or be left in the car and losing her dignity in front of him.

It's clearly a fairly casual relationship and if he had been overly concerned to let OP know he was OK/not ghosted he would have found a way to do so by now. If he is seriously hurt or unwell then you will find out in due course, and hopefully this is not the case but again you have nothing to gain by driving over there.

Going round there will just be the worst possible thing to do. Sit it out, keep yourself busy and distracted and prepare for the fact that he is probably a twat. I'm sorry.

Its a horrible situation to be in, whatever his reasons. Don't you have any mutual friends at all? Hope you get an answer soon!

Fingers crossed, OP.

The OP could go round to check on him, and have the door opened by the lovely woman he met on Saturday night :(

But OP none of us really know, we are all jumping to conclusions. Some really wild suggestions on here.

Sometimes it is impossible to win on here; introduce your new man to the DC's to soon and torn to shreds; be sensible and take it slowly and the poor guy is now married and living a double life.

Interesting that posters have also jumped to the conclusion that he has been arrested. I hope that was before the OP shared the information about her BF's heritage and didn't snowball afterwards.

I hope that this does have a simple solution and that this man isn't ill and needing help. You must be worried OP. Thinking of you.

Ex was emotionally abusive, used to throw his weight around and make threats but was to smart to actually hit me so I can’t call the police and make him move out, he owns half the house and won’t leave till the remortgage has gone through to buy him out which should be next week.

I might be being naive but what other information would you expect us to have about each other that we don’t? Yes I get that him not having my address could sound weird but he’s never come here so he wouldn’t have ever needed to ask for it? Like I said he knows the area I live in, he knows roughly where I live just not the exact house because I’ve never thought to give him the address. Even if he knew it he wouldn’t turn up incase my Ex was here because he knows ex would kick off.

Up until now we’ve been really happy and committed to each other, making plans for the near future etc what other commitments would you expect after 6 months? Even if I wasn’t living with my ex he wouldn’t have been meeting the kids or anything yet our relationship would be pretty similar other than maybe seeing him a little more (depending on when ex has kids) and that he would be able to come to my house (when the kids are out) both of which we have talked about and planned for when ex moves out, I’m very happy taking things slowly and seeing what happens

I really don’t think he has a side girlfriend his last serious girlfriend cheated on him and left him for the other guy and broke his heart so I don’t think he would ever cheat, plus between work and studying and general life demands we spend as much free time as we can together and text most evenings once the DC are asleep so I don’t know when he would find the time to see someone else

I know someone who was dating a man for roughly the same
time, he disapeared. she went to his house and he was in there with another woman, hence why taking children round this is not
a good idea and quite frankly it would be embarrassing.

I think you should concentrate on your children instead off men!! You sound very desperate ......

Maybe it was more of a casual relationship for him? Maybe that's why he didn't need to know where you lived.

I think at 6 months you should be able to tell him where you live though?! Doesnt mean he needs to come in just where you live, its perfectly normal to know where someone your dating for 6 months lives. Has he never picked you up? dropped you home?

Definitely he sees it as causual otherwise he would be wanting to know where you live.

I don't think she sounds desperate. I think it's reasonable to wonder if he's alright in these circumstances. She hasn't put the dcs in the car to drive round to see what has happened. That's desperate!

Hope you get an answer OP

I don't think the replies have any degree of racism, just looking at possible reasons why this man has gone off the radar. I'ts perfectly normal to be worried sick especially at this time of the year when crime rates are at their highest.
OP was merely pointing out that he boyfriend was very laid back and attributes this to his Caribbean Heritage.

Your ex boyfriend, you mean? Sounds like you got dumped and he forgot to mention it. Or he's in a coma on a desert island where there is no technology...Or he's Jason Bourne...Or just leave a note on his door. If he doesn't get back to you, well that's an answer.

Hope you get an answer one way or another. My imagination would be running wild.

Even if he comes back and says he had a problem with his phone, you will never really know if that was the truth.

He sounds immature and unreliable.

Is this really the best you can do after coming out of an abusive marriage?

He doesn't sound a catch at all.

Fine, if all you want is some 'fun' but maybe it would be better to keep away from men until you and your DCs are settled, your ex has gone and you have had time to reflect on what went wrong in the marriage.

Just because you met someone you are attracted to doesn't mean you have to begin seeing them. You are allowed to say 'no thanks '. :)

I think it sounds like a phone loss/damage situation than ghosting. But having been through this with my abusive ex I know how difficult it can be to believe the innocuous explanation. I hope he gets in touch soon

@brunetteblue

She sounds desperate!! What part of being
Concerned about someone you have dated for 6 months is desperate?

There's laid back but making you worry to this level is ridiculous. I'd go round there personally but I understand it's difficult with the children.

@JinglingHellsBells

Do you mean to come across so patronising or are you going more for sanctimonious?

Hoping for a positive outcome OP

Hope you find out soon OP

Crossing fingers for you too. I'd be thinking of the worst now but let's hope he's just been too casual and not messaged you about a phone problem!