Haven’t heard from my boyfriend since Saturday

[ihavetogoshoppingnow]

We’ve been dating for 6 months we’re not the type that text each other all day long but we always message each other good morning and usually have some kind of text conversation in a day.

I left his house Saturday lunchtime and he was getting ready to meet his friends in town for food then they were going out out later on we talked a little but while he was out then around 9pm I text him saying have a good night and let me know when your home he said he would and text me saying good night. Woke up Sunday morning and he hadn’t text so I text him the usual good morning and asked about his night I didn’t hear anything all day but assumed he was just sleeping/hungover I text him again Sunday night asking if he was alright and the message didn’t deliver I tried to ring him and it went straight to voicemail and has done ever since. I assumed at first he’d just lost his phone in his flat and let it die (this happens a lot he’s not the type who’s always got his phone in his hand) but he was supposed to be going out again last night for New Years and the phone is still dead so I’m starting to get really worried because he wouldn’t have gone out without it.

Not really sure why I’m posting or what help people could be but I just needed to talk to someone, maybe have some reassurance?

Reading some of these replies you’d think the OP had posted in AIBU 🙄

OP, I’m 99% positive this will work out tomorrow when you both have access to work email.

I think he's met someone else and doesn't feel the need to tell you as you were only in a casual relationship. I hope that's not the case though as I've had that happen to me and it was shit x

Some of these replies make me glad I'm single,the most common assumption is that he's met someone else. Do the single men today drop a relationship of 6 months for someone they meet on a night out and go immediately to ghost mode?

I fear for my DCs ever making a lasting relationship

I am always so depressed reading these threads . MN is just filled with people incredulous that women with children have the audacity to have a relationship! One hiccup and he is automatically ghosting, married, or 'immature' ..
How about for once we take the OP at face value and assume that she knows the man she has been dating for SIX MONTHS- better than a bunch of people who have never met him and support the OP ?

Not ALL men are bastards.

This OP has done everything right. No kids introduced. He isn't in her space. She's kept her family and gone out of the picture whilst she gets to know him.
Honestly people can't do anything right on here sometimes. Why do people have to be sanctimonious arses ? Is it because their attitude is that any women with children should remain single and celibate until the kids have left home ? Or is it just pure jealousy that someone with children seems to be finding happiness?

Hope it resolved soon OP. Easiest solution is wait for ex to come home. Leave the kids with him and pop round.

Some of these replies make me glad I'm single,the most common assumption is that he's met someone else. Do the single men today drop a relationship of 6 months for someone they meet on a night out and go immediately to ghost mode?

He probably doesnt see it as a relationship tbh.

@Youbrokemytwatometer

I was trying for a bit of both actually.

Or maybe just plain speaking , like many of the other posts.

Maybe read the thread and you will find other posters to have a go at as well.

There was a similar thread a few months ago where the boyfriend had gone back home for a funeral and not been in touch for days. It didn't look good.

It actually turned out surprisingly well, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you OP and hoping for another happy ending.

He doesn’t have my address because he can’t come here because of my ex. He knows the town I live in, the area, the train I get everyday, where my house is just not the exact number or street because he’s never needed it, no he’s never picked me up or dropped me off, he lives just outside of town centre where I work so we either meet there after work or at the weekend we meet there to go out and then get a taxi back to his or I get the tram straight through to his house from mine which is easier and quicker than driving

JinglingHellsBells I’ve been perfectly happy in my relationship up until now he is very mature and reliable and has never let me down before so saying he doesn’t sound like a catch when you know nothing but this incident about him is abit much. My relationship with my ex (we weren’t married) didn’t work because he was a miserable narcissistic bastard and I emotionally left him years ago, started a new career after my mat leave and waited it out till I was in a position where I was financially comfortable enough to leave him and take on the house on my own

Why would he tell you so little information?

She has his phone number, address, has been to his home, knows his friends, they have mutual friends, she knows where he works.

Exactly what other information do you expect to know about someone after 6 months?

People on this thread are being ridiculous.

Oh, and I always have 'last seen' turned off on WA, always have done, not for any nefarious reason at all, I just don't like seeing when other people have been on it, so it turns it off two way.

@JinglingHellsBells OP has Facebook; at least, so she is contactable...

Although granted it may just be that they are very reliant on their mobile numbers for comms and he's lost hers somehow, and hasn't thought about ways to contact her before they are back at work tomorrow.

Hopefully it’s just thoughtlessness

Do the single men today drop a relationship of 6 months for someone they meet on a night out and go immediately to ghost mode?

Of course they don't.

It's more likely he's ghosting than lying somewhere dead. Another likely possibility is the lost/ broken phone but it's odd that he can't find a way to get in touch and doesn't know the address after 6 months.

I would wait until tomorrow. Send him an email at work.

If there is no response I would then go to the flat.

Oh I hope you hear something soon. As worrying as his actions are right now, do not distract yourself from your lovely children and do not take out your frustration on them. He's a grown man and fingers crossed, he's fine where he is

Not read the whole thread, you mentioned that you can’t send an email from your work address but can you send one to his? And even if you don’t have his email in your personal email account you can work it out from yours- [email protected]
Mention of course that you can’t access you email and include your numbers.

Well you have definitely succeeded with both sanctimonious and patronising in equal measure Jinglinghellsbells ! But while your at it you could always advise the OP to wear sack cloth and ashes and stay indoors for another 15 yrs till her motherly duties are complete .
On the other hand as a grown adult female perhaps she actually LIKES this man. Enjoys the relationship and has the additional benefit of a fun and satisfying sex life. ? All of which are allowed you know.
God luck to her. It's hard enough to begin a relationship when you have young children. Let alone everyone telling you what an arse he is without any evidence except mobile phone not working.

I only posted for people to reassure me that the most likely situation was that he’d just lost or smashed his phone and couldn’t get in touch because he didn’t know my number and not that he was lying dead in a ditch because I was starting to really worry and overreact and just needed to talk to someone and be rational and calm down. I wasn’t expecting to be told that he’s left me, ghosted me, has a secret wife/girlfriend, probably didn’t think we had a relationship off the back of one dead phone.

I don’t know why people are all up in the worst case scenario until they know any better

He’s probably dropped his phone

@ihavetogoshoppingnow

Okay that's a bit clearer now :)

I didn't know you had Facebook, but it's a tall order to ask someone to set up a profile just to contact you- and if he's as you say he is, I can't see him doing that.

He may have been reliable before and you are the best judge of that. I just think it's really hard for you to have any relationship, where it's a level playing field, while you have your ex living with you.

I had a situation where I was ghosted or rather let down one day- I ended phoning the police to see if there had been any RTAs. (Terrible weather, snow, he was supposed to be driving 100 miles.)

Turned out his wife (from whom he'd been separated for some time) had come back (unknown to me because he lived long distance), they'd had to visit relatives and he of course couldn't fulfil his date with me. :(

I get that people have had people ghost them with no warning before and it’s awful but if he was going to do it surely he would have done before Christmas? And not wasted his money on presents for me, taking me out, buying food and drinks and having me to stay for 3 days, why would he text me whilst he was out with his friends to check on me then text me good night later on when I said I was going to bed if he was just going to disappear the next day?

I’m sure it’s just that he’s lost/broken his phone and has no real way of getting in touch, it’ll prob be all sorted tomorrow and u can bollock him for making you worry, fingers crossed for you OP

Just remembered that some years ago my friend whom I saw most weeks wasn't picking up his phone. I remember skim reading an short post in the local paper about an accident. I thought at the time it was the sort of daft thing my friend would do. the name given was different to my friends and I thought no more of it untilI tried calling my friend again. The penny dropped and I called all the local hospitals but to no avail. Given the unusual circumstances of the accident I phoned all the specialist hospitals. Nothing. I then called at his house where his sister was visiting and she told me he was in a hospital in the next city. Trying to convince him I'd been searching for him for 2 weeks was some task. I honestly had no mutual friends. This was before facebook took off. I would phone a few hospitals in the area, just to give you peace of mind.
I still think the most likely scenario is that he has moved on but I know you wont get peace until you know hes safe and well.
Thinking of you x

There are some really nasty comments on here, totally uncalled for. OP was looking for some support because she's worried, instead she's largely been subjected to ridicule and unkind opinions. For God's sake.

@Fontofnoknowledge I totally agree with you.

OP, I do hope you get some answers and that all is OK, good luck