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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Haven’t heard from my boyfriend since Saturday

470 replies

ihavetogoshoppingnow · 01/01/2019 12:36

We’ve been dating for 6 months we’re not the type that text each other all day long but we always message each other good morning and usually have some kind of text conversation in a day.

I left his house Saturday lunchtime and he was getting ready to meet his friends in town for food then they were going out out later on we talked a little but while he was out then around 9pm I text him saying have a good night and let me know when your home he said he would and text me saying good night. Woke up Sunday morning and he hadn’t text so I text him the usual good morning and asked about his night I didn’t hear anything all day but assumed he was just sleeping/hungover I text him again Sunday night asking if he was alright and the message didn’t deliver I tried to ring him and it went straight to voicemail and has done ever since. I assumed at first he’d just lost his phone in his flat and let it die (this happens a lot he’s not the type who’s always got his phone in his hand) but he was supposed to be going out again last night for New Years and the phone is still dead so I’m starting to get really worried because he wouldn’t have gone out without it.

Not really sure why I’m posting or what help people could be but I just needed to talk to someone, maybe have some reassurance?

OP posts:
wasthis · 02/01/2019 09:46

(I realise it's not for the OP to update if she doesn't want to)

PerverseConverse · 02/01/2019 09:50

@wasthis I hope she updates too. There's always posters who go on about how OPs don't have to update, how it's someone's life, not a soap opera etc but I personally think it's very rude when they don't when people have taken time and effort to respond to the thread. Lack of update screams troll to me. Not suggesting this is a troll post at all. I think OP will update when she can. Soon if all ok, later if not, once she's processed things. Fingers crossed for good news OP.

wasthis · 02/01/2019 09:58

I guess it could be seen as rude but if it was bad news the last thing she'd want to do would be to update Mumsnet

WWYDhelpplease · 02/01/2019 10:07

Hope all is ok op.

FannyFifer · 02/01/2019 10:14

Hopefully find out what going on today.

stopitandtidyupp · 02/01/2019 10:28

guess it could be seen as rude but if it was bad news the last thing she'd want to do would be to update Mumsnet

Agree with this. Only if his phone had been stolen then maybe. I hope it is nothing more serious.

Westiegirl3 · 02/01/2019 10:30

I hope you are able to get in contact with him today

Millipedewithherfeetup · 02/01/2019 10:39

.

Renarde1975 · 02/01/2019 10:40

I'm so sorry. Read your OP and my first thought was this isn't a ghost, It's a disengagement.

He's gone OP. Flowers. I'm so sorry. Sad

Ghosting is the Absent Silent Treatment and can either be present, they are there but don't speak or absent.

Disengagement rather than an AST is what's happened here I think. The OP has not been devalued I think so she's literally been shelved. He WILL be back if he thinks that contacting her has some degree of success.

He's a bastard OP. Angry

The reason you have been blocked everywhere is he doesn't want you interfering in the new relationship he is forming. Sorry OP. There is someone else.

Further evidence that he's a narc comes later from you OP in that you say your ex us a narc, so you are vulnerable to this.

My advice is to retaliate with your own permenant disengagement. When he seeks to Hoover you off the shelf (and he very probably will), he will find the reciprocal blocks and he will be mad with anger.

So sorry OP.

Renarde1975 · 02/01/2019 10:44

Or in other words, now is the time to stop even attempting to contact him because he's getting supply from that.

Pinotwoman82 · 02/01/2019 10:48

Hope all is ok OP?

christmaspuddingyumyumyum · 02/01/2019 10:52

I hope there's a reasonable explanation.

SparklyMagpie · 02/01/2019 10:56

@Renarde1975 you seem pretty sure this is the case Hmm

purplelass · 02/01/2019 11:00

The reason you have been blocked everywhere is he doesn't want you interfering in the new relationship he is forming. Sorry OP. There is someone else.

You don't know this is the case. I really hope it's just a lost phone and all is well.

Renarde1975 · 02/01/2019 11:02

*Sparkly

it's because I've seen it a few times, not me though, and I think this is the likely outcome.

I hope it's not.

Renarde1975 · 02/01/2019 11:03

*purple if he genuinely cared hed have got a message through. Most obvious way is using a mates phone.

PowerPantsRule · 02/01/2019 11:06

OP! Don't ghost us! Let us know what happened Smile

purplelass · 02/01/2019 11:06

renarde
How could he without her number?

All my numbers are stored in my phone, not my head (which is why I'm buying an address book today as a back up)

Renarde1975 · 02/01/2019 11:08

@purple. Good idea. I'm doing the same too

Sallygoroundthemoon · 02/01/2019 11:08

This thread has made me write my boyfriend of 5 months' number in my notebook in case I lose my phone. Though I do have his email and we've been to each other's houses.

Wellfuckmeinbothears · 02/01/2019 11:12

Morning op, how are you? X

BigusBumus · 02/01/2019 11:12

Renarde1975 you clearly haven't read the whole thread...

cakef0rbreakfast · 02/01/2019 11:13

Hope you're ok OP Thanks

Queenofthedrivensnow · 02/01/2019 11:14

Any news? I sabe a few numbers in my work phone in case I lose my iPhone

MiniCooperLover · 02/01/2019 11:20

OP made it clear she had to go to work today so I'm sure she'll update us when she can.