The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Step Into Our Christmas Thread!

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm Mouse

A HUGE welcome to the Bus!

This is the one and only Gerald. Over the years, we've travelled far and wide gathering some truly remarkable Babes along the way, all of whom have been (and remain to be) at different stages of their own personal journey to sobriety or controlled drinking, depending on what it is that they want to achieve.

We have those who drink daily, those who drink occasionally, and also those who have been sober for some time. The one thing that you won't find here, is any judgey knickers! We're ALL here because at one point or another, we've hit our own "rock bottom" and then smashed the shit out of the FUCK IT button! (makes a note to order a new FUCK IT button)

This is without doubt one of the hardest times of the year for many of us, what with Christmas parties, alcohol on tap, supermarkets who have offers galore of various tipples stacked from floor to ceiling, and EVERY advert on TV shows you what an amazingly cool person you can be if you were drinking whatever brand of alcohol they're flogging! Even Christmas puddings and Brandy creams are tempting fate because as soon as you digest even a small amount of alcohol, it makes your body crave more, just like smoking, medication and recreational drugs................

Then there's the gifts that you're given! Champagne Truffles, Liquors, wines, spirits, you name it! So unless you've told people about your planned journey, people assume that buying gifts like that completely acceptable. So, some may feel obliged to consume such gifts and why not? It's Christmas after all. Then we have the New Year festivities..... parties, friends and family over to have drinks because you'll stop drinking after New Years' Day won't you?

It's so damn hard not to drink if that's what you've been doing all year anyway before you even reach this time of year!! How will you cope with your Great Aunt who will check for dust by running finger over ever surface, or Uncle knobhead who will be there in his cream suit, with that suspicious stain on it and his burgundy shirt asking for a Babycham! Also, let's not forget the in-laws/out-laws! We can sometimes put so much pressure on ourselves that we convince ourselves that we DESERVE that glass or seven of wine etc.

At the end of the day, if you want to drink, then you will. I appreciate that doesn't sound supportive but it's certainly true in my case. As I have said before, the most amazing thing about this Bus and those who travel along with it, is the fact that every single one on board has a story, a reason why they're here, and we all need support in one form or another. Yes, alcohol may be the one thing that we ALL have in common but it goes way deeper than that doesn't it? Life, love and laundry for a start!

Even if you're not ready to stop or cut down on your drinking yet, that's fine! You're still welcome to hop aboard the marvellous Gerald. We're a very varied bunch of Babes but we welcome anyone in need of support, even if you're not ready to say everything that you want to yet, or you feel the need to name change, that's fine! Just know that we're here for YOU for as long as you need to be.

Mouse xxx

THIS IS THE PREVIOUS THREAD IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO CATCH UP FROM WHERE WE LEFT OFF

So sorry, Mint. I’m typing sans reading glasses and it shows! .

Hello to Beaches too.

Epic fail last night. Fell off the bus good and proper but had a brilliant night so it was worth it. In my opinion. Dancing, chatting and laughing so much. I think being out with people that are on the same wavelength makes such a difference. Missed my stop on the train so had to get a cab home but what a night!
Also had a brilliant sleep. The first for ages.

Spring is coming!

Hi Babes
Struggling this evening. Had a stressy day, DH is out, I'm bored! Have eaten too many chocolates. I could go & do some housework, or read, but I don't feel like doing anything. Someone slap me with Barrie please.

I would slap you with Barrie but am busy self-flagellating!!!!
had a G and T! However very deliverately decided to have it, stopped there and am now over it. Stressed after week off boss leaving and having to decide whether or not to apply for his job. Have a month to get an application in if I go for it. Lots and lots of pros and cons....or prawns and cones as they are known in our house.
11 days AF, will be back on it tomorrow.

I don't blame you Ma I would join you but a) there's no alcohol in the house & b) I wouldn't be able to stop at 1, I never can so am in awe of you for that. On a good day I can stop after 2 but it's never guaranteed. Good luck if you go for the manager's job. Nothing ventured nothing gained

Evening

Sounds like everyone is doing well. sweet I found clementine fevertree in my tesco- they had lots of bottles left- it’s lovely.

mint sorry to hear about your Mum, do what you need to take care of yourself.

ma go for the job sounds like you are very experienced.

Hope everyone else is ok I’m going to have an early night dh was half way to pissed when I got in from running kids round clubs so can’t be bothered with listening to him bore on!

Had a couple of glasses of wine but stopped there, h didn’t stop and I left him pissed and watching crap on tv. Am in bed with book and fruit tea.
ma apply for that job! Do it.
Night all.

Morning all
Had such a good night on Thursday which is why I think I find it so hard to stop drinking completely. I don’t think I could enjoy a night out so much without drinking. Which is a problem in me I guess and why I feel bored and boring without a drink. But as always I just didn’t know when to stop and started to have the fear once the euphoria had worn off yesterday. Going back over the night etc etc. It’s not worth it. Why can’t I just stop when everyone else clearly can. Here we go again not drinking. It really is the only way forward for me.
Hope everyone has a great weekend. And ma you should definitely go for the job. In a previous job I didn’t step up when my boss left and they got someone else in who wasn’t as good as me so I ended up going the job anyway without the pay or kudos. A lesson learned. Nothing ventured nothing gained.

Morning all. Trust ‘Why can’t I just stop?’ is the million dollar question, idn’t it? I glower at DH sitting there with his one glass of wine - bloody moderating - the moderately drinking bugger! If it were ‘just willpower’ every babe on this bus would have no difficulty moderating or stopping drinking. It’s deeper than that, though, and seems to be a complex mix of circumstances, our physiology and how sensitive we are to the effects of alcohol. One big thing I’ve learned recently is that being kind to ourselves is vital. Hard to do, especially when the self criticism kicks in! AF social occasions feel so weird for a while. They are just beginning to feel less weird now, but it does expose whether you are relaxed/a bit bored/whatever, without alcohol to nicely take the edge off. I was always trying to balance the fun with fear I’d be more drunk than I realised and would be acting like a prat without realising.

Hope everyone has a great weekend. It’s my ‘birthday weekend’ so we are off for a break.

In haste - morning all - just wanted to check how you are, Sweet after your op? Hope all is well.

Second hangover-free Sat in a row. Feels nicely normal already. Need to remember how great normal feels. Getting to the point where vigilance is critical - it all feels so good and positive right now but I know this is exactly the time the WW can ambush me..

Hope everyone has lovely days. Ma it is good that you have a bit of time to decide re the job. I am wary of commenting one way or another since only you know what works for you right now - but please do believe in yourself and go for it if you feel the time is right to do so. You have given so much to your work, they are so lucky to have you and your love for/belief in what you do shines through. Those sound like pretty good credentials for the job to me!

Morning all, and sending hugs to all. Trust do not beat yourself up. That in itself is where the damage gets done. I know because God do I get the fear and anxiety the day after, even a moderate one. Its the confidence knocking and the self-criticism which damages me and my life way more than the booze and the hangover. You said yourself you had a great time, having fun with like-minded people - that's important to note. I'll bet you were in great form and great company. Brush yourself down and be proud of your dancing feet! And don't hide away next time, just go out and binge-drink on AF lager or whatever floats your boat.

That's my strategy this evening. Got girls night out and am going to eat chips and drink Becks Blue at a rate I would normally sink booze. Which is A LOT. If i have an excessive gene, i will transfer for a bit, rather than deny my being. Eventually I'll binge on lettuce grin

I'm being a bit cowardly by driving but ive got a way to travel and it makes sense. Normally i would avoid this and go any distance around the houses by train or buses so that i could fill my boots. Hopefully all will add up in my head and keep me in track. Girls are my besties, but can be a bit screechy after a couple. Might be a bit testing and maybe insightful. Normally i screech from the front blush.

Anyway, have a great day all. Just being on here and sharing, you are doing a great thing. You give me many new angles to ponder on this funny old planet of ours. Xx

Hi everyone

trust I feel same as you- hard to think of enjoying night out without alcohol- but last year I had went to 2 Christenings, a 40th and a house party and didn’t drink because I was working the next day (I often work Sundays). My friends are big drinkers but because I had a good reason no one pressured me (which they normally do) and I looking back I enjoyed being in control, not joining in arguements and not worrying next day what I had done or said.

wee enjoy your night out- I want some chips now!

Dh is doing my head in- didn’t come out with the family this morning after drinking too much last night. It’s so boring the way he drinks all weekend- think sometimes now I turn to alcohol to tolerate boredom of sitting with someone sinking drink- sign.

efc YES! That’s exactly it. It’s a sort of “if you can’t beat them, join them” mentality for me, to help me tolerate the boredom of being with h as he gets progressively more pissed, every night.

thanks all for the suppostive messages re the job. I have a copy of the vacany notice and job spec which will be live next week. A lot of my doubts are due to a lack of confidence its' true, so I probably could actually DO the job - although there are some aspects where I would need help. The problem really, is do I want it? hard to explain without totally outing myself but at the moment my role is being out on the road, meeting employers, doing military engagement. This role is more of a desk job doing the strategic stuff and planning etc and leading the department. There is a lot of dry and dusty stuff with ex-military old crusties....who can't take their eyes off either my purple hair or my tits!!! I'm not sure the job and I are suited lol
anyhoo, back on the wagon today, been for my C25K run and made a healthy packed lunch for my 8mile walk tomorrow. I've never walked 8 miles in my life!!!

efc totally get about being stuck in with a drinker. he's already onto this 3rd can of beer and will carry on now until bedtime watching sodding football.

dementedma
Go for It! Shake the crusties up a little!!

quiet on here tonight. BAck on the wagon and 11 days out of 12 AF. Pleased with that.
As our boiler is on the fritz we have no heating and no hot water so tucked up in bed. DD1 watching TV in front room(portable heater blazing), DS playing his bass and DH asleep half cut in front of the pc in the kitchen "watching " football. What a happy united family we are.

ma apply for the job. All these stuffy old places know they need to move on and be relevant, and you sound v cool indeed. I also think you should ask your ex-ish boss to continue as your mentor/support. He'll be flattered at least, and probably needs you and values your relationship as much as you do.

What you are all describing about DP drinking is, I suspect, the way my DP feels about me normally. I'm the one steadily ploughing through the wine on a Sunday, and i think he joins in sometimes just to reduce my intake a bit. My 'couple' on a weeknight render me dull and lazy, and a bit contrary, can't be that attractive from his standpoint. My, my, my. This new clarity is a bit painful.

In other news, had a flipping great night with the girls. And surprisingly moderate drinking from them......... I wonder what my role is in setting the pace normally. We still had a great laugh, and my binge drinking Becks Blue was so successful that i felt a bit merry, spilt most of the contents of my bag on the floor, flirted with the waiter, and posed for a silly picture in an inappropriate pose with an elephant. Abd then got in my cosy car, gave someone a lift, am now tucked up in bed with a warm glow from having a great heart to heart with my best friends. Great AF experience i did not think was possible. All together now..... Aaaaaww.

Rereading previous post, i need to clarify the inappropriate pose was with an elephant statue. No need for animal welfare concerns whatsoever

Morning all
Thanks for all your supportive messages crafty efc and wee
Unfortunately I know my limitations but just ride roughshod over them when I start drinking. It is when I’m with certain people and when the evening is sort of open ended.
Other people I can go out with and not drink and it doesn’t bother me.
I’m having a major panic attack now because Im finding I can’t remember certain parts of the night. I did manage to get myself home OK eventually in the cab but it was in the pub before that is vague and I had a message from one of my work colleagues on Friday to say it was an unforgettable evening and have started visualising all sorts of scenarios which are getting weirder and weirder. I just replied back yes a great night. I really don’t want a rehash at work tomorrow. I’m such a berk.
wee sounds like you had a brill night. I’m totally jealous of your AF partying.
small sounds like you are being very sensible lately.
I’m just going to have to suck it up and get back on the bus. AF now going forward.

trust try not to worry about the other night- if it’s talked about just make an excuse and leave- sudden need loo/coffee!

wee sounds like a brilliant night! I have an evening out in February been booked for ages and I have to drive as I have a 10k race in the morning so I hope it’s as soon as your night.

I went to the pub with my sister last night. Ended up sharing a bottle of Prosecco. Not the end of the world but didn’t really enjoy the drinking more the company.

Busy week coming up so no drinking today.

Hi can I join? I’ve lurked for a few years, posted a couple of times but never stayed as I’ve mostly been stuck on endless days 1s.
Now though I’ve somehow got to day 7. The cravings have been tough, felt very emotional and irritable at times but weirdly have not once seriously considered buying a bottle.
The thing is I feel like utter crap, which I expected for the first few days but not this long. I look awful as well, particularly my skin, I have horrible cold sores and really dry flaky skin. It’s starting to make me wonder if it’s really worth it. Well, deep down I know it is, but have fleeting moments of thinking a bit of wine might make me feel better.
Can somebody please tell me it gets better??? And how do you get through the shitty bits?

Morning All.

Op went smoothly, I'm now strapped up from ankle to thigh, both legs and walking like a Cyberman! Thankfully, that gets exchanged for extreme support stockings tomorrow, then by summer I should have legs I can actually show off.

Hi Today, of course you can join, grab a seat, we're here for the tough times, it does get better, your immune system is obviously at a bit of a low if your getting cold sores, a good multi-vitamin will help. Are you keeping hydrated? Your body is rebalancing which can take a while.

Ma you should go for it.

Mint {{{{t'interbosies}}}} for you. You have cope with SO much. Is that Fentimann' rose lemonade? I love it, their Valencia orange tonic is great too.

Small, sounds like you're embracing the normal rather than seeing it as boring, we all need to remember to do that.

WeeWee, well done you. I like Becks, but it upsets my stomach now. Sober socialising is a big breakthrough.

Happy Sunday to everyone else, efc, Mouse, Trust, Venus, Slings, Corvid, Baking, Beaches, AnneBoleyn, Hope, Dubh and everyone else.

hi all and welcometoday. It does take time to feel and see the benefits. Keep at it. 7 days is greaat. lux is a great babe for urging us all to pamper ourselves wiht the money we are saving not buying booze. Perhaps a nice facepack or facial?

Been for a 10K walk with the local ramblers. A slow pace but I'm feeling it in my hips and arse. however as one old dear went round with two crutches and the walk leader was 75 I haven't the nerve to complain. Should sleep well tonight.
sweet hope the legs are better soon.