The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Step Into Our Christmas Thread!

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm Mouse

A HUGE welcome to the Bus!

This is the one and only Gerald. Over the years, we've travelled far and wide gathering some truly remarkable Babes along the way, all of whom have been (and remain to be) at different stages of their own personal journey to sobriety or controlled drinking, depending on what it is that they want to achieve.

We have those who drink daily, those who drink occasionally, and also those who have been sober for some time. The one thing that you won't find here, is any judgey knickers! We're ALL here because at one point or another, we've hit our own "rock bottom" and then smashed the shit out of the FUCK IT button! (makes a note to order a new FUCK IT button)

This is without doubt one of the hardest times of the year for many of us, what with Christmas parties, alcohol on tap, supermarkets who have offers galore of various tipples stacked from floor to ceiling, and EVERY advert on TV shows you what an amazingly cool person you can be if you were drinking whatever brand of alcohol they're flogging! Even Christmas puddings and Brandy creams are tempting fate because as soon as you digest even a small amount of alcohol, it makes your body crave more, just like smoking, medication and recreational drugs................

Then there's the gifts that you're given! Champagne Truffles, Liquors, wines, spirits, you name it! So unless you've told people about your planned journey, people assume that buying gifts like that completely acceptable. So, some may feel obliged to consume such gifts and why not? It's Christmas after all. Then we have the New Year festivities..... parties, friends and family over to have drinks because you'll stop drinking after New Years' Day won't you?

It's so damn hard not to drink if that's what you've been doing all year anyway before you even reach this time of year!! How will you cope with your Great Aunt who will check for dust by running finger over ever surface, or Uncle knobhead who will be there in his cream suit, with that suspicious stain on it and his burgundy shirt asking for a Babycham! Also, let's not forget the in-laws/out-laws! We can sometimes put so much pressure on ourselves that we convince ourselves that we DESERVE that glass or seven of wine etc.

At the end of the day, if you want to drink, then you will. I appreciate that doesn't sound supportive but it's certainly true in my case. As I have said before, the most amazing thing about this Bus and those who travel along with it, is the fact that every single one on board has a story, a reason why they're here, and we all need support in one form or another. Yes, alcohol may be the one thing that we ALL have in common but it goes way deeper than that doesn't it? Life, love and laundry for a start!

Even if you're not ready to stop or cut down on your drinking yet, that's fine! You're still welcome to hop aboard the marvellous Gerald. We're a very varied bunch of Babes but we welcome anyone in need of support, even if you're not ready to say everything that you want to yet, or you feel the need to name change, that's fine! Just know that we're here for YOU for as long as you need to be.

Mouse xxx

THIS IS THE PREVIOUS THREAD IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO CATCH UP FROM WHERE WE LEFT OFF

Hi Babes, good to hear some great achievements with dry January, and more importantly that those who have had a drink are still coming back to chat, to look for support or advice, and to offer a hand of friendship to others.

ma are you joining the low carb bootcamp? starts tomorrow? I've got a fridge full of butter and cream and I've made some peanut butter and raw cocoa fat bombs to tide me through if I need a wee bit of something delicious....

Hi all, so many of you doing well and I'm in awe of the 'I stopped at one' comments. I don't think I can stop at one ever which means now I'm scared to have any.

Trust If moderating was easy we'd all be doing it and wouldn't need to post on here. Don't stress yourself out over the other night. If your initial feeling was that it was all ok it will have been. It's just the post drink anxiety making you replay stuff.

Welcome Today Things do get better. 7 days is amazing. It just takes a while at first.

Dubh I'll have to try the raspberry jaffas. They sound so good. I'm not allowed to buy ordinary jaffas because I can eat the box in a day but I do need to try the raspberry ones.

Sweet Glad the op went ok. Hopefully you'll be back to normal soon.

Mint Grief does funny things to people and it takes a long time to come to terms with the loss of someone so close. I think you've managed really well all things considered.

Ma I was all for saying apply for your bosses job but now you've said it's a desk one I'm not so sure. I can't imagine you not travelling round a lot. It's such a hard decision to make. I'm sure you could do it but if it were me I don't know if I'd want such a massive change of role. On the other hand I wouldn't want someone shit managing me either! So hard to decide.

I've just read about 4 pages on my phone so I'm sure there were other things I wanted to comment on that I can't remember now. I need to come on more often.

Crafty Hope you've had a lovely birthday weekend. I really get your comment about AF social situations taking a while to get used to. I've found the more I've been to the easier it is and the less people comment on my lack of alcohol. It definitely feels a lot more accepted now than it was 6 months ago.

Wee That sounds like such a good night and it proves you can have a good time AF which is a big thing if you drink every time you're out. For years I chose to stay at home for occasions I couldn't have alcohol when other people were. I missed a good few wedding receptions doing that which seems kind of silly now I'm choosing to drive myself everywhere.

Anyway, not much to report from me. I have the difficult tasks of choosing what to watch on telly and trying not to eat vast quantities of Christmas chocolate. Hope everyone else is having a good evening. Nearly half way through the month now!

venus I'm kind of low carbing on my own although today has been screwed by having mashed potatoes with dinner and a sandwich on my ramble, but I've been pretty good otherwise. I find the bootcamp really hard to stick to and end up getting shouted at by biwi.
I've lost 4lbs since Christmas. Wish it was quicker but I am doing a lot of exercise now so telling myself its muscle replacement!
baking you have my dilemma in a nutshell....am just re-reading the job spec now and making a few notes

ma do you have to do the job in the exact same way as your boss did? I have often found that there is scope to make a role fit your own skills a bit - make sure you keep on with the 'out and about' stuff, and see if there are desk based tasks that other people could help with - sometimes there are things that would make great developmental projects for other staff...?

Thank you baking I think you are right about me overthinking things. I am so impressed with the way you have managed to stay strong for so long. I did dry January with you last year and you have just carried it on.
sweet so pleased the op went well.
Hi today and welcome. You will get lots of good support and advice.
Just enjoyed a day of calmness today before a heavy month and a half of work coming up.
Hope everyone is doing well today

Urgh sorry I drank again today. Family meal after football. But I’m home having a cup of tea so should feel ok tomorrow.

ma 4lb is great well done!

Hope everyone is having a restful Sunday xx

efc I hope you're pleased with yourself for coming home and using the kettle! It's something a lot of people (myself included) wouldn't be able to do after having any amount of drink.

Trust Nobody is more surprised than me at my 12months of sobriety! Until last year I'd never managed a successful dry January. I tried joining the penguins the year before and failed 2 weeks in so just reverted back to drinking every day. Prior to that I usually tried and failed on my own or didn't try at all. I wish I knew why last year was different so I could share the secret! I think a lot of it is because I've gone for so long without any I've become quite frightened of alcohol. I feel like if I have any now I'll just be right back to the start and I don't want that.

evening babes - doing ok here, not in the best place to give much support to anyone, all my strength is staying at home with dh. things here ok, just tough! however, dry jan is going well, feeling positive so able to pass that on to dh.

best love babes xxxx

Morning all
Day 4 AF today and I am going to maintain this until the end of January now at least. It’s helpful to post on here to remind myself of why I am doing this.
Baking you always sound so positive on here. Do you still think about drinking and make a conscious decision to say no to yourself or does the thought not cross your mind anymore?
One day at a time does work for me normally. Last week I knew I was going to have a drink that night but I didn’t put a plan in place for leaving after a certain amount which is why it got messy. I should have learned by now that I can’t trust myself to get to the point in the evening whilst actually drinking to decide I’ve had enough.
How is everyone else doing?
thebabes it is great that you are still posting and I hope that your DH is on the mend?
efc well done for getting the kettle on.
ma I hope things are becoming clearer in your mind about the job.
Hi to
sweet small wee venus crafty and all the other lovely babes.
Have a great day

trust and efc I think that stopping after you've had a few drinks is the very hardest thing to do. Well done efc for finishing the evening with a cup of tea, I would have more likely been searching the cupboards for some forgotten bottle of something awful - you don't want to know the outcome of an evening like that where all I could find was a botte of cherry lambrini, a can of cider, and half a bottle of rum

trust I didn't find many self-imposed limits that worked once I'd started: going out with a limited amount of money - I'd borrow from someone; taking the car - I'd leave it and collect it the next day (no matter how difficult the arrangements to do that); have an other (non-drinking) appointment to meet - I'd cancel at the last minute. As the wonderful Marian Keyes once said: "I know there's a line in the sand, but once I've started drinking I can no longer see it." That was me.

Have a good day everyone.

Thanks Venus that makes sense. Loving the idea of cherry lambrini.
What I can actually still do in certain social situations is

1. not drink at all - this is the best plan
2. remove myself from the situation after say 2 drinks - I can still do this But and it’s a massive BUT if I decide to stay that is when it all goes wrong. I tell myself it will be fine and of course it never is. I like the quote from Marian Keyes. Went to see her at one of her book launches and she did a talk which was very honest.

venusandmars
I started doing 16:8 yesterday. Along with a week of keto to kick start it. And I'm going to try giving up sugar again. Eeeek!
Once the mornings get lighter I may start Couch25K again. I just wish there was a gym I could get to round here. Hopefully my elbow will heal soon and I'll be able to start the dumbbell exercises again.

Happy Monday to all you fabulous creatures. babes i hope you are OK, just by starting this you have given so many of us daily support. Keep popping in to get what you need, even just an escape over a cuppa. I do hope your DH is getting better day by day.

ma venus crafty trust small baking efc dubh and everyone else, thought I'd share a quote from my diary. Dr Seuss 'You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose'

ODAAT x

Morning (well it was when I started typing!

Venus, cherry lambrini? ! I have similar fiendish ways of sidestepping my own lines in the sand. Its why the first drink is the one I HAVE to avoid.

Weewee you have a very cool diary!

Mint, kicking sugar is tough! I seem to have got through it quicker than usual this time, but that's because I haven't been able to get anything for myself this weekend! I find it really balances out my appetite and I don't want to eat all the time.

thebabes I think we all have a limited amount of emotional energy, save yours for DH and yourself, and borrow some from those of us with a bit to spare!

First teaching day of the term for me, one lecture done, one more this afternoon, but I have to get to my out patient appointment shortly to have my dressings checked and changed. No time to think about drinking!

ma it's only day one of low carb bootcamp and I did indeed get shouted at. I guess I'm just used to the more gentle support on here

Venus. OMG Cherry Lambrini? The very thought may be enough to keep me sober forever 🤢

baking. I had a great weekend, thanks!

weeweewoman loving the Dr Seuss quote!

As for me: trying to be frugal and 'shop my closet' this year as, in addition to having no off switch with alcohol, I have no off switch when it comes to shopping - albeit damage limited by being a charity shop and eBay fiend. Thing is, I don't bloody NEED more things!

Hope dry January is going well for those doing it. Hi to all the babes!

Craftycorvid
I hear you on the shopping addiction. It's replaced drinking and costs a whole lot more! 🙄

Evening everyone!

So glad I did stop last night as work was crazy busy! Thank you everyone for your kind words. And I’m glad I didn’t have Cherry Lambrini venus

No desire to drink today so cuppa and early night!

Trust Tbh I don't think about drinking like I used to. I automatically miss out the booze aisle now. Something that really surprised me last year was when x-factor and strictly came back on in autumn. Watching them on a weekend really made me want a drink. I always used to watch them with a few cans or some gin and I definitely felt something was missing there. Fortunately I only remembered my 'need' once I'd got DS to bed and settled down to watch so there wasn't anything I could do about it. If I didn't have to stay in the house after 7pm I think I would have started again long before now. DS had my photo albums out on the weekend, some really old ones and I'm either wrecked or getting there in virtually ever photo. It feels like another life.

WeeWee 'Oh the places you'll go' is my favourite Dr Seuss book. Love it.

Hope everyone else has had a good Monday. I've been quite productive. Been swimming, sorted house stuff/lunches etc for work tomorrow. Also managed to get Sky to knock £10 a month off my broadband bill. That's pleased me greatly as that's £120 saved this year that I can spend on something else.

I've also treated myself to some m&s salmon which I'm going to have with new potatoes and salad. I rarely buy it because I think it's expensive and there's only me eating it but it tastes so good. It's funny how I never had any issues finding money for cigs and booze for so many years but buying quality food still feels excessive.

well no exercise today, plus i have had cake and gin. but it's my birthday so I'm having a day off!! 55 years old. Dear God. am I the oldest babe on the bus?
Back on it tomorrow.

Happy birthday ma!

Happy birthday Ma. Hope you've had a lovely day.

thank you. it's mouse's birthday too but she hasn't popped in today. Boiler is bust so no hot water or heating in the house. bloody freezing!
Am now huddled in bed trying to get warm

Happy birthday ma and mouse (and sadly I am even older...)