The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Step Into Our Christmas Thread!

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm Mouse

A HUGE welcome to the Bus!

This is the one and only Gerald. Over the years, we've travelled far and wide gathering some truly remarkable Babes along the way, all of whom have been (and remain to be) at different stages of their own personal journey to sobriety or controlled drinking, depending on what it is that they want to achieve.

We have those who drink daily, those who drink occasionally, and also those who have been sober for some time. The one thing that you won't find here, is any judgey knickers! We're ALL here because at one point or another, we've hit our own "rock bottom" and then smashed the shit out of the FUCK IT button! (makes a note to order a new FUCK IT button)

This is without doubt one of the hardest times of the year for many of us, what with Christmas parties, alcohol on tap, supermarkets who have offers galore of various tipples stacked from floor to ceiling, and EVERY advert on TV shows you what an amazingly cool person you can be if you were drinking whatever brand of alcohol they're flogging! Even Christmas puddings and Brandy creams are tempting fate because as soon as you digest even a small amount of alcohol, it makes your body crave more, just like smoking, medication and recreational drugs................

Then there's the gifts that you're given! Champagne Truffles, Liquors, wines, spirits, you name it! So unless you've told people about your planned journey, people assume that buying gifts like that completely acceptable. So, some may feel obliged to consume such gifts and why not? It's Christmas after all. Then we have the New Year festivities..... parties, friends and family over to have drinks because you'll stop drinking after New Years' Day won't you?

It's so damn hard not to drink if that's what you've been doing all year anyway before you even reach this time of year!! How will you cope with your Great Aunt who will check for dust by running finger over ever surface, or Uncle knobhead who will be there in his cream suit, with that suspicious stain on it and his burgundy shirt asking for a Babycham! Also, let's not forget the in-laws/out-laws! We can sometimes put so much pressure on ourselves that we convince ourselves that we DESERVE that glass or seven of wine etc.

At the end of the day, if you want to drink, then you will. I appreciate that doesn't sound supportive but it's certainly true in my case. As I have said before, the most amazing thing about this Bus and those who travel along with it, is the fact that every single one on board has a story, a reason why they're here, and we all need support in one form or another. Yes, alcohol may be the one thing that we ALL have in common but it goes way deeper than that doesn't it? Life, love and laundry for a start!

Even if you're not ready to stop or cut down on your drinking yet, that's fine! You're still welcome to hop aboard the marvellous Gerald. We're a very varied bunch of Babes but we welcome anyone in need of support, even if you're not ready to say everything that you want to yet, or you feel the need to name change, that's fine! Just know that we're here for YOU for as long as you need to be.

Mouse xxx

THIS IS THE PREVIOUS THREAD IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO CATCH UP FROM WHERE WE LEFT OFF

Margie it is April. My first marathon was amazing I really loved a lot of it but the last few miles were so hard! I would love to get your speed. I have yet to get a sub 2 hour half so close but not quit there!!

hello anne good to see you again.
have had a glass and a half of red wine and realised I am just drinking for the sake of it so have corked it and made tea instead. I am actually fed up of eating and drinking. I feel bloated and ugly.
Need to get a grip

Ma, to me you are downright bloody gorgeous.

Saywhen, with your stamina and my (relative) speed, we make the perfect runner!

Trust, onwards and upwards, you can do this and we’re all here with you, cheering you on.

Anne, lovely to see you again.

Thank you Margie
Well that is day 1 done. I’m a binge drinker so I don’t drink everyday but when I do I do it big time and I don’t know if anyone else does this but if I have a big drink up I will have another couple of drinks the next day to “feel better” Today I didn’t. I have felt pretty ropey most of the day but have powered through and am pleased now.
Hope everybody else has had a good day.

So what have you got planned for the day? Lovely non-alcoholic drinks to hand, delicious snacks prepared (healthy or otherwise), something to keep your hands busy and something to occupy your brain, a couple of close friends that you can call if you need to rant or cry, and mumsnet brave babes thread on instant recall 😁
Use every resource at your fingertips..

How are you doing JWN?

Is anyone else utterly bored with not being at work now? Been off a week, Christmas is over and I still have another week to go, including the shit fest that is New Year. Sorry to be a Grinch, but I have no idea how to make the days go any faster and if anyone else suggests " a nice long walk" I might throttle them. today, once I have put air in my flat tyre and taken DDs recently crashed into car to the garage - that's it until bedtime. I realise I drink because I am bored but seen utterly incapable of occupying myself. Finished one of y new Christmas books yesterday.

Morning all.
Ma I totally know what you mean. We look forward so much to having the break from work and then it’s sort of a bit flat after Xmas day.
I am at work tomorrow. I normally plan this to have a break from the festivities. Sounds mad but it works for me. Also transport and work is so much quieter so can get lots done.
Today I am tidying the house and trying to declutter a bit. We are having family to stay for New Year.
I’m not drinking as any sad and anxious feelings are totally related to drinking. The flip side is that I’m bored and feel like I’m boring if not drinking. I know it’s mad.
Have a good day everybody and keep posting! It definitely helps.

Just posting as i'm so happy. Had a totally dry Christmas. Last year was a hard one as was a first after a bereavement. Also had a dry birthday a few weeks ago. I'm rarely drinking but haven't really made any sort of decision other than I just don't want to drink much anymore. Here hoping we all make progress in the new year in whatever way we want.

hi can i join? long time poster.

Have had an awful relationship with alcohol, i dont' have to have it every day but find it very hard to stop once I start. After an awful episode of drunkeness in November i cut down drastically, however last night i lost all will power and binged on a couple of bottles of red. I have no idea what I did but DP has bascially told me I have to stop and I know i do..

I just can't understand why I am so compelled to repeat this over and over. Dp says i should seek help but not sure where from? Have tried AA (once or twice) but it really wasn't for me. Can anyone help? I am despairing of myself

welcome rubberducky you will find lots of help and support here.
Will DP support you at home?

Hi Babes, I came looking for the bus as it's been such a long time and I've found a shiny new thread with all the 'old' faces and some new ones with an awesome opening post by Mouse.

I'm feeling a bit down today. Struggling to keep DS entertained as there's only so much playing we can do. I feel flat because it's all over. It's like my life is slipping away! I hate New Year for that reason.

However, I'm so close to 12 months alcohol free. Never thought I'd manage it. I don't think I would have if I hadn't had the bus to get me through dry January. Mint well done getting to a year. My anniversary is New Year's eve and after much soul searching around trying to moderate I think I'm going to remain dry for a little while longer. It's nice to see everyone still around. I'm hoping to post a bit more through January.

baking Hello! Congratulations on being so close to the year.
I had a lot of soul searching too, still do some days, I'm sure after all this time I could cope with one etc etc. But it's too risky for me. It was so hard to get to each new attempt and there were so many day ones that didn't stick.

I agree it's such a funny time of year. I hate new years eve. Hope your day has been ok in the end x

He is demented and I've downloaded the naked mind hope this sticks this time but it's very daunting

Hi rubberducky, it’s a cliché but try to take one day at a time, especially at the beginning. If you start projecting and thinking about whether you can go AF for a week or a month or even longer then it will start to feel impossible before you’ve even started. Just try not to drink today.

Trust, I still have that fear of being boring now I’m not drinking. I really had it at the work Xmas party a few weeks ago, but I just gritted my teeth and left early, there are some social events I feel fine about being AF at but that wasn’t one of them.

Baking, great to see you, you’ve done so well this year! I hear you on feeling flat, me and the DSs are struggling to keep ourselves entertained and although I’m not ready to go back to work I don’t really know what to do with all this home time!

headinhands, well done you! A dry birthday and a dry Christmas are a massive achievement.

To everyone who is waking up clear headed this morning - well done. Capture the feeling of relief and use it to motivate yourself for another alcohol free day today.

To everyone who didn't quite make it and had a glass of two - well done. You didn't blow everything, somewhere along the line you stopped. Great, you do have an off switch, now you can use it after one drink, or one horrid mouthful, or maybe even at zero.... Try it today and see what happens.

To everyone who hit the complete fuck it button - well done. You've opened your eyes, you've dared to come back on here, and that takes resolve and courage. I know, I've been here often. Despite the repeated drinking something in you wants to change. Maybe today will be a small step in that direction?

hi all. Struggling with the blues so forced myself out for walk. Managed 5.6km in just under an hour so feel like I've had a bit of a workout. undid all the good work by having mince pies and baileys cream when I came in but will be low-carbing in January so don't feel too guilty.

Drove down to Durham yesterday to visit Seaham, whose beach is famed for its sea glass. Think it's been picked clean by those before me as didn't find anything terribly exciting except one red and one yellow piece - both quite unusual colours among all the blues, greens and mermaids tears. Still, it broke up this tediously long holiday and got me outside for a few hours.

I love beach-combing, ma. Your walk sounds wonderfully restorative (as does the mince pie). I'm just trying to catch up with all the things I don't get around to when I'm at work - and picking at snacks!

I suffered panic attacks, problems eating, and nocturnal panic attacks. This all started when I was 18 and when I met someone when I was aged 21, we shared a bottle of wine. Instantaneously my issues went away. So most nights since then I've bought wine as a night cap. I'm now 44. I've tried not drinking but without the drink I cannot eat or sleep without chronic anxiety. I've been on a variety of meds AND sought therapy but I cannot seem to resolve this issue. I want to stop altogether but csnt bare the panic. Anyone else understand this? Ie I self medicated and now cannot stop, although before hand I was the total.

speranze could you go to your GP? Panic can be well treated with CBT. It sounds like alcohol started as a way to avoid experiencing panic - a safety behaviour.

Have you ever tried therapy? Personally I have had dreadful panic attacks whilst hungover and for me alcohol increased my anxiety and lowered my mood.

Say Truthfully I don't think I'm capable of moderating which makes me think I should just stay stopped. I'm going away at the end of January with my Mum and I know she's expecting us to drink cocktails etc together but I don't think I can. I'll be such a lightweight by then the hangover would be immense.

Margie I don't want to go back to work/school either but the days seem so long at times. DS gets up between 5 and 6am every day and in winter it's just too dark for me!

Ma I really like Durham. Not been for a long time though. I currently have 20 mince pies in the kitchen which I'm slowly eating my way through. They were bought for Christmas visitors but everyone opted for the chocolate log alternative and consequently I have loads of mince pies left.

Speranze I think that alcohol makes anxiety a lot worse. I used drink to help with it for years but really I was just going round in circles. The day after I'd feel anxious so I'd drink to get over it and that'd make me anxious again. It's such a hard habit to break though and it does get worse before it gets better.

I'm jumping aboard. Much to my surprise I managed dry Jan last year. I lurked on these boards and found it such a help. I slowly slipped back into old habits, not helped by bereavement and a heavy drinking family. I have had about 60 units since last Saturday but if I'm honest 40-60 is the norm. I condense my drinking into about 2 hours 4pm-6pm because I like the empty stomach buzz. I know that simply eating early will break the cycle but still I reach for the bottle! So that's my strategy for January, eat big carby meals with the kids early on so any drinking would be futile. Good luck all.

That sounds like a good plan madmarch and I like your honesty about drinking at 4pm to get the maximum buzz. Incedentally ma, I found that low carb combined with intermittent fasting gave me the same kind of lunch time buzz (and I lost my fat belly)

Hi everyone posted on the dry thread so hope it’s ok to post here too. I am new to the bus. 3 days sober after a year on and off and a very recent bad binge. My problem is the sheer exhaustion. How did other people deal with the exhaustion.

welcome chips 3 days is excellent. Can't remember the last time I was 3 days sober.
do you mean exhaustion from not sleeping properly?

Just wanted to wish a Happy New Year to all the babes. Family party tonight then Dry January tomorrow... it's been a weird old year ... I wish you all joy and peace in 2019 and will see you on the other side