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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Step Into Our Christmas Thread!

999 replies

Mouseface · 24/12/2018 21:59

Hello, I'm Mouse Smile

A HUGE welcome to the Bus!

This is the one and only Gerald. Over the years, we've travelled far and wide gathering some truly remarkable Babes along the way, all of whom have been (and remain to be) at different stages of their own personal journey to sobriety or controlled drinking, depending on what it is that they want to achieve.

We have those who drink daily, those who drink occasionally, and also those who have been sober for some time. The one thing that you won't find here, is any judgey knickers! Grin We're ALL here because at one point or another, we've hit our own "rock bottom" and then smashed the shit out of the FUCK IT button! (makes a note to order a new FUCK IT button)

This is without doubt one of the hardest times of the year for many of us, what with Christmas parties, alcohol on tap, supermarkets who have offers galore of various tipples stacked from floor to ceiling, and EVERY advert on TV shows you what an amazingly cool person you can be if you were drinking whatever brand of alcohol they're flogging! Even Christmas puddings and Brandy creams are tempting fate because as soon as you digest even a small amount of alcohol, it makes your body crave more, just like smoking, medication and recreational drugs................

Then there's the gifts that you're given! Champagne Truffles, Liquors, wines, spirits, you name it! So unless you've told people about your planned journey, people assume that buying gifts like that completely acceptable. So, some may feel obliged to consume such gifts and why not? It's Christmas after all. Then we have the New Year festivities..... parties, friends and family over to have drinks because you'll stop drinking after New Years' Day won't you?

It's so damn hard not to drink if that's what you've been doing all year anyway before you even reach this time of year!! How will you cope with your Great Aunt who will check for dust by running finger over ever surface, or Uncle knobhead who will be there in his cream suit, with that suspicious stain on it and his burgundy shirt asking for a Babycham! Also, let's not forget the in-laws/out-laws! We can sometimes put so much pressure on ourselves that we convince ourselves that we DESERVE that glass or seven of wine etc.

At the end of the day, if you want to drink, then you will. I appreciate that doesn't sound supportive but it's certainly true in my case. As I have said before, the most amazing thing about this Bus and those who travel along with it, is the fact that every single one on board has a story, a reason why they're here, and we all need support in one form or another. Yes, alcohol may be the one thing that we ALL have in common but it goes way deeper than that doesn't it? Life, love and laundry for a start! Grin

Even if you're not ready to stop or cut down on your drinking yet, that's fine! You're still welcome to hop aboard the marvellous Gerald. We're a very varied bunch of Babes but we welcome anyone in need of support, even if you're not ready to say everything that you want to yet, or you feel the need to name change, that's fine! Just know that we're here for YOU for as long as you need to be.

Mouse Smile xxx

THIS IS THE PREVIOUS THREAD IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO CATCH UP FROM WHERE WE LEFT OFF

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batteriesincluded · 30/04/2019 09:14

Thank you for the warm welcome!

Day 9 and feelin fine.

I am meeting an old friend later today. Usually we end up getting hammered on wine but I've spoken to her and she is fully supportive, and we are having an AF dinner. This will be a first!! Weird thing is I don't feel anxious about it which is great news.

Slept well last night hut my god my dreams are vivid and non stop.

My red face is returning to its normal colour which is a huge bonus.

Feeling really happy 😊

obrigada · 30/04/2019 12:07

Loving your pond Ma Smile

My garden is like a wilderness and not a pleasant wilderness.

dementedma · 30/04/2019 22:46

Well done batteries. Am just in from a nights soldier ogling. Knackered

batteriesincluded · 01/05/2019 08:02

I did it! Not a drop of alcohol was consumed last night. I sat and had a laugh, drinking my San pellegrino, while my friend got progressively drunker and drunker in front of me.

First ever time to go out with a friend AF.

I woke today feeling fresh instead of half drunk. I will avoid the hangover and anxiety today. I am so pleased with myself!

Dementedma... Soldier ogling?? Sounds fun Grin

obrigada · 01/05/2019 09:17

Well done batteries, you did it Smile

Am in Week 6 of no alcohol and suddenly finding I have loads of energy. Sleep has really improved but still have the odd night of tossing and turning.

Waves to all babes Smile

batteriesincluded · 01/05/2019 10:56

I need a go-to soft drink for when I find myself in a pub or restaurant...please help! It's a bit of a nightmare standing at the bar not knowing what to order...

I am on a low carb, low sugar diet. So soda / fizzy drinks / juices are kind of a no-no.

I'm not a fan of coke - so coke zero is out too.

Any suggestions would be warmly received. Especially in time for this bank holiday weekend!!

venusandmars · 01/05/2019 17:21

Sparkling water (or soda water) with a squeeze of fresh lime....

dementedma · 01/05/2019 18:27

Soldier ogling is my day job batteries. And sailors. And RAF. There are definite perks to my job.

SpanishTiles · 02/05/2019 21:45

Hello I'm new. Day 9. I'm so happy but I feel wrecked, I'm shattered and fragile. I had no idea alcohol had that grip on me I just had to stop and so I did. I'm struggling to eat. Is this normal? I just feel very lonely and I haven't told anybody.

Craftycorvid · 02/05/2019 22:42

Hi all, welcome batteries and SpanishTiles. How are you doing? I found feeling knackered hapoened to me too - turns out it is a normal part of alcohol withdrawal. But if you feel really unwell, do see your doctor. Not eating sounds rough, also being lonely. Is there at least one person who’d listen? You will find lots of support here too.

Great photo, ma. The General is gorgeous.

SpanishTiles · 03/05/2019 20:48

Hi Craftycorvid thanks so much for replying last night I am very thankful. I think last night was the worse of it and the end of that phase as I feel so much better today. Physically and mentally stronger. I had a good hours walk out in nature today and spent it talking to myself positively and planning short term things. I'm so so so happy im doing this. Hope everyone is looking forward to a good weekend xxx

bakingcupcakes · 04/05/2019 08:25

Tink How are you getting on with moderating? I think we used to be on the thread together a while ago. I'd love to be able to moderate but I don't think I'm capable really.

Ma and other Scottish babes. Have you got snow? What a difference a bank holiday makes! We have no snow but its really not that warm.

Batteries and Obrigada You're both doing really well at being dry. I found things do improve the longer you go.

I'm doing ok. I didn't buy any cans yesterday but I thought about it. I'm still dry. It's only been 9 days though so the temptation is still there. I think I'm going out with work tonight. Definitely can't drink as I have to drive but they've only seen be drink once and it was a couple of years ago so they'll expect me to be on soft drinks anyway. I find being at home in front of the telly after DS is in bed is my worst time. I was doing cross stitch for ages but that seems to have lost its appeal lately. Probably because it's the most complicated piece I've ever attempted and I don't feel like I'm making any progress! I'm trying to do things that don't cost money this weekend. I'm going away for a weekend in half term, then next month the final payment for my summer holiday is due and the month after that there's the final balance for DS's soft play party. Then there's holiday childcare...it just goes on. I feel quite stressed with all the stuff that's due to be paid. Another good reason not to be taking up drinking again!

Hello to Venus, Crafty, Sweet and everyone else.

bakingcupcakes · 04/05/2019 08:29

Spanish Sorry I completely missed your posts there! Welcome to the thread. You're day 9 like me! It definitely gets easier over time. I found it odd having so much sober time to think about things when I first properly stopped. Now I like planning stuff and spending the money that would have gone on drink on something else (as is evident from my above post!) How are you getting on today?

bluebeck · 05/05/2019 20:10

Hello Babes - I am back (changed username) after a period of trying to moderate. This did not end well.

A couple of weeks ago I went on holiday with Big Drinking Friends and by the end of it I felt like hell. We were drinking from 12 - 12. My MH was shot to pieces by the end of it, anxiety and depression all rolled up.

I have been drinking a lot at home since and decided I just don't want to do it any more.

I read the Allen Carr book The Easy Way for Women to Stop Drinking as I know his work helped me quit smoking twenty odd years ago. Anyway, I am on day 3 AF and feeling bloody great. I have lots of plans to lose weight and get fit and just enjoy life more. I feel like I really don't want to drink.

However, I am going on a weekend break soon with a different Big Drinking friend, just me and her. She is talking already about shall we buy booze at Duty Free or shall we buy it when we get there? She is clearly planning to drink ourselves into oblivion in the room before/after dinner. I just don't want to but I don't know how to tell her I have quit.

Any ideas? Do I just tell her on the way to the airport? I don't care if she drinks - I just feel like I am ruining her holiday.

SpanishTiles · 05/05/2019 22:46

Hello I'm still going, not much to say sorry but reading the old threads is massively helpful so thank you everyone. Really wanted a drink tonight, but I didn't.
Day 12!

venusandmars · 05/05/2019 23:01

Well done Spanish to avoid a drink when you really want one is quite an achievement. You should be proud of yourself for not giving in.

I had a lovely day, despite the chilly weather. I went for a walk in my favourite bluebell woods. Picked nettles and wild garlic and made an amazing soup - the kind you know must be good for you!

MintToBee · 06/05/2019 06:47

Hey everyone and welcome to our newbies.

bakingcupcakes No snow but it's very chilly.

Saturday was warm for a few hours. We went to a little music festival and were surrounded by people determined to get hammered. We ended up going back to the van and having a cup of tea . It really hit home how much my relationship with alcohol has changed and for the better. In the past that would have been me, getting drunk and being obnoxious. I still had a good time and a dance without it.

dementedma · 06/05/2019 20:14

spanish welcome and well done. Im not on the bus as much as I used to be and definitely in the sidecar. Have swapped wine for gin but still drinking most nights . I never learn.
mint how are the wedding plans comi g along? I still have absolutely no idea what to wear?

SpanishTiles · 06/05/2019 20:52

Had a stressful interaction with exh at pick up of kids, two weeks ago I would have been straight round to the Spar after.

But not tonight. I have definitely developed a San Pellegrino in a wine glass habit though Grin

I feel great for the first time in ages despite waking with a feeling of anxiety and unease this morning akin to a sober beer fear. On top of world right now as for the first time in a good while I've got my youngest to bed without any tantrums and although she was testing me I felt chilled and in control and had a giggle at her antics instead of getting impatient and huffy.

Ahhhhhhhh.

bluebeck · 07/05/2019 20:13

Got a last minute invitation out to dinner on the train home, and my immediate thought was Hooray! I walked to the station today so I can have a drink Blush

Then I remembered I don't do that any more......

Had a lovely early dinner and just had a diet coke which made it much cheaper and a far more pleasant journey home. Currently drinking tea and feeling great.

MintToBee · 07/05/2019 21:11

dementedma
Wedding pretty much sorted now. Just waiting to get the dress altered. I have a lambswool sherape in black watch tartan to wear as a cover up in case the sun never comes out again! 3 and a half weeks to go! Shock

MintToBee · 07/05/2019 21:13

And well done SpanishTiles and bluebeck Flowers

AFridgeTooFar · 08/05/2019 14:12

I've bounced in and out of this thread like a fucking yoyo.

But I did it...

With the help of Addaction...I'm 90 days sober!!!!💜

MintToBee · 08/05/2019 17:36

AFridgeTooFar
Huge congratulations!!!!! 90 days is amazing. 🎉🎉🎉

Craftycorvid · 08/05/2019 18:20

AFridge. That’s brilliant!