The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Step Into Our Christmas Thread!

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm Mouse

A HUGE welcome to the Bus!

This is the one and only Gerald. Over the years, we've travelled far and wide gathering some truly remarkable Babes along the way, all of whom have been (and remain to be) at different stages of their own personal journey to sobriety or controlled drinking, depending on what it is that they want to achieve.

We have those who drink daily, those who drink occasionally, and also those who have been sober for some time. The one thing that you won't find here, is any judgey knickers! We're ALL here because at one point or another, we've hit our own "rock bottom" and then smashed the shit out of the FUCK IT button! (makes a note to order a new FUCK IT button)

This is without doubt one of the hardest times of the year for many of us, what with Christmas parties, alcohol on tap, supermarkets who have offers galore of various tipples stacked from floor to ceiling, and EVERY advert on TV shows you what an amazingly cool person you can be if you were drinking whatever brand of alcohol they're flogging! Even Christmas puddings and Brandy creams are tempting fate because as soon as you digest even a small amount of alcohol, it makes your body crave more, just like smoking, medication and recreational drugs................

Then there's the gifts that you're given! Champagne Truffles, Liquors, wines, spirits, you name it! So unless you've told people about your planned journey, people assume that buying gifts like that completely acceptable. So, some may feel obliged to consume such gifts and why not? It's Christmas after all. Then we have the New Year festivities..... parties, friends and family over to have drinks because you'll stop drinking after New Years' Day won't you?

It's so damn hard not to drink if that's what you've been doing all year anyway before you even reach this time of year!! How will you cope with your Great Aunt who will check for dust by running finger over ever surface, or Uncle knobhead who will be there in his cream suit, with that suspicious stain on it and his burgundy shirt asking for a Babycham! Also, let's not forget the in-laws/out-laws! We can sometimes put so much pressure on ourselves that we convince ourselves that we DESERVE that glass or seven of wine etc.

At the end of the day, if you want to drink, then you will. I appreciate that doesn't sound supportive but it's certainly true in my case. As I have said before, the most amazing thing about this Bus and those who travel along with it, is the fact that every single one on board has a story, a reason why they're here, and we all need support in one form or another. Yes, alcohol may be the one thing that we ALL have in common but it goes way deeper than that doesn't it? Life, love and laundry for a start!

Even if you're not ready to stop or cut down on your drinking yet, that's fine! You're still welcome to hop aboard the marvellous Gerald. We're a very varied bunch of Babes but we welcome anyone in need of support, even if you're not ready to say everything that you want to yet, or you feel the need to name change, that's fine! Just know that we're here for YOU for as long as you need to be.

Mouse xxx

THIS IS THE PREVIOUS THREAD IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO CATCH UP FROM WHERE WE LEFT OFF

Whaaat? 3 and a half weeks! Me and venus need to get ready for our road trip

Thank you MintToBee!

Congratulations AFridgeTooFar that is great going

15 days now, half a month for me. It feels really good. I just feel so much more peaceful and together.

So excited about mint's wedding. I hope we can capture some anonymous photos so the rest of you can share in the joy of the day!

Although it’s quiet I need to post . I’ve been on here before and on the dry thread . But I’ve failed again . I’m drinking every night again . At least a bottle of wine . Sometimes gin as well . I’m fat . My mental health is suffering . I’m under performing at work . In fact to my great shame I’ve rang in sick today . I have to stop . I cannot moderate . It always always creeps back up . Going to read back some old threads today and I will not drink

Hi @laurely I'm 17 days sober and I couldn't believe I could get through the first three tbh. Thinking of you today. If you've not already, can you get in the shower or bath and give yourself a really good scrub down? It always helps me clear my head up anyway once I force myself in.

It's going to be ok. You did it before, you can definitely do it again. You know it's never too late. I'll be pottering around at home today so if you feel like posting I'll be here to post back! Big hugs!

Thankyou for answering . 17 days is great . Feeling dreadful guilt about work . God knows what I’ll say at my return to work interview. So fed up with myself for getting here again. Why can’t I just drink normally? Spent some of the day reading the original thread . I’m about half way through . It’s helping a little

Hi laurel and welcome back. What is drinking normally? I don't know, I never got it. When I drink it is like my mind is obsessed with it - where will I get my next drink from? how much is left? how long till I can have something? Those thoughts then pushed away by worrying if anyone will notice, worrying what I'm doing to my health, frustration at myself for 'being so weak', self-loathing and depression.

I used to imagine that I'd want to drink 'normally' - but in my heart of hearts I knew that I never wanted to have one small drink, I wanted to be able to drink massively without any consequences. It's easier not to drink at all.

Do you have wine / gin in the house? If you do, put it away, far away, or give it to a friend. For me it always starts by NOT buying drink (and I've had some hellish wavers in the wine aisle at the supermarket).

Good luck. Let us know how you're doing.

My danger time has passed . It’s 4 till 7 where the voice starts . I’ve eaten way to much food but I guess I can tackle food next . Feel anxious and stressed and lost perspective about work and being off sick today . Very muddled so I’m sorry if this post is jumbled . I do appreciate you taking time to answer me.

Hey Laurely ‘waves’. Glad danger hour has passed. What venus said really: my narrative went ‘desperate for a drink...don’t want to drink....angry at not having a drink....frightened at what I may have done to my health but scared damage may already be done...so sod it, have a drink anyway...I’m more fun when I’m drinking anyway...won’t be a likeable person sober’ and repeat. The reality is it’s so quiet now. In my head. Hope you have nice food, AF treats and something good on TV/to read. This stage passes! Treat yourself kindly.

That narrative is all to familiar . My bottom line is I cannot moderate . But the idea of NEVER drinking again seems impossible . It only takes one drink and the cycle starts again though . On a positive note I slept well last night .... despite a very vivid dream about a work colleague being eaten alive by a shark!! I am not drinking today

Can I join. Every Sunday I have the same conversation with myself that I need to cut down and then Friday rolls around and that resolve is gone.

I think I need to admit that I can’t moderate and I need to stop altogether

Hi champagne . I’ve tried to moderate so many times . It does not work for me . How are you today?

Usual self loathing, guilt and depression of a Monday

So what are you going to do champagne? You can use those feelings to look back, and feel bad or sad and full of regret, or you can use those feelings to propel you forward - a day without any alcohol today, a brighter start tomorrow, a plan for trying out some refreshing non-alcoholic drinks....

I only ever have a drink on a Friday and Saturday but I can never just have a few. I need to take it too far then spend the rest of the week recovering.

I’m trying to organise a family cinema trip on Friday night to keep me away from the booze

Can I join the bus please? I was on the dry thread but I just don’t think I am ready for that commitment yet. But I must cut down. Drinking alone. Can easily drink a bottle and the other night drank 1.5 bottles. Drank every night last week. It just has to stop now. I cannot moderate. Once I start I just keep going. If I have any wine left I the fridge it gets drunk. So now on day 2. Sunday evening was last drink. Didn’t sleep well last night - woke around 4am. Felt nauseous and sweaty. Typical withdrawal symptoms. Managed a couple of cups of tea today and a seedlip and tonic for dinner. It is the 6-9pm hour that I need to get past. Feeling better this evening and have done a full skincare routine before bed. Never usually manage that - I usually pass out. Thank you for letting me join

Look after yourself, Heyelp. Withdrawal can be nasty. Get plenty of rest if you can.

Champagne having plans for Friday evening sounds good. You could make that a routine - family Friday - that would be a great start to the weekend.

Heyelp welcome. What have you got planned for this evening? a short visit to family / friend at 9pm would be good, if you needed to drive, or a trip out to see the sunset? If you have to stay at home then line up a load of things to occupy your hands and your mind - tidy your wardrobe, sort a pile of paperwork, take up knitting, tapestry, on-line jigsaws, creative writing, art, anything.

I find the best approach is just not to have any alcohol in the house. Go shopping early in the morning, before work, when your resolve is at its highest and alcohol might be on sale anyway. Meal plan ahead and shop once, then use a slow cooker so you are in the kitchen early in the day, not later when you're tired and hungry and gasping for a drink (that was always my downfall).

Post on here how you're feeling, yell for help and support or encouragement. Even if you fail, come and share, don't hide away.

Morning! Hope all are ok . Still reading back old threads which are so inspiring and really helping . I’ve not drank . Doing a lot of soul searching but trying to not be to unkind to myself . I feel really really tired but I know it will get better . Off to work soon . I have a lot of stress and anxiety around work but I’m taking it one day at a time and breathing through it . Work stress is not an excuse to pick up

Oh thanks so much to everybody for replying. @venusandmars - they are great tips thanks. What I am trying to do is pour myself a really nice big glass of seedlip and tonic every night with lots of ice to get over that ritual of drinking. It is so right that once you are over that craving window it passes. It is just getting over that window. Honestly am shocked that am on Day 3 and it seems like a lifetime. How do we even get to the stage where drinking comes part of every night even when alone. It’s shocking really. Tonight I am cooking for the kids and have some filing to do so will focus on that and my seedlip! Have been a bit shocked how withdrawal actually now feels worse than the continual full daily hangover I had. Not feeling so nauseous but certainly still waking at 5am every morning and difficulty going to sleep.

@laurely indeed stress is such a reason to dull it with drink. Really annoys me that work can have such an effect on our health in this way.

Good luck everyone and thanks again x

Ok pouring my seedlip now!!!! How’s everyone getting on. Counting down to 3 days!

Which Seedlip are you on, Heyelp? I like the spiced one.

@craftycorvid I have both the garden and the spice to try and mix it up a bit! How are you doing? I am turning in now sober. Day 3 complete!

Oh yes, the Garden one is nice with elderflower tonic. 😁. I want a Seedlip now 😂. Enjoy a good sleep, Heyelp. I’m doing ok. These days a cup of tea is my normal evening ‘tipple’ and I’m largely ok with that. In my experience, it gets easier. I crossed a line some time ago whereby I realised I only miss alcohol occasionally and it doesn’t intrude on my thoughts.

I got this: Ceder's Crisp

In Asda for £15

There were 3 varieties.