The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Step Into Our Christmas Thread!

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm Mouse

A HUGE welcome to the Bus!

This is the one and only Gerald. Over the years, we've travelled far and wide gathering some truly remarkable Babes along the way, all of whom have been (and remain to be) at different stages of their own personal journey to sobriety or controlled drinking, depending on what it is that they want to achieve.

We have those who drink daily, those who drink occasionally, and also those who have been sober for some time. The one thing that you won't find here, is any judgey knickers! We're ALL here because at one point or another, we've hit our own "rock bottom" and then smashed the shit out of the FUCK IT button! (makes a note to order a new FUCK IT button)

This is without doubt one of the hardest times of the year for many of us, what with Christmas parties, alcohol on tap, supermarkets who have offers galore of various tipples stacked from floor to ceiling, and EVERY advert on TV shows you what an amazingly cool person you can be if you were drinking whatever brand of alcohol they're flogging! Even Christmas puddings and Brandy creams are tempting fate because as soon as you digest even a small amount of alcohol, it makes your body crave more, just like smoking, medication and recreational drugs................

Then there's the gifts that you're given! Champagne Truffles, Liquors, wines, spirits, you name it! So unless you've told people about your planned journey, people assume that buying gifts like that completely acceptable. So, some may feel obliged to consume such gifts and why not? It's Christmas after all. Then we have the New Year festivities..... parties, friends and family over to have drinks because you'll stop drinking after New Years' Day won't you?

It's so damn hard not to drink if that's what you've been doing all year anyway before you even reach this time of year!! How will you cope with your Great Aunt who will check for dust by running finger over ever surface, or Uncle knobhead who will be there in his cream suit, with that suspicious stain on it and his burgundy shirt asking for a Babycham! Also, let's not forget the in-laws/out-laws! We can sometimes put so much pressure on ourselves that we convince ourselves that we DESERVE that glass or seven of wine etc.

At the end of the day, if you want to drink, then you will. I appreciate that doesn't sound supportive but it's certainly true in my case. As I have said before, the most amazing thing about this Bus and those who travel along with it, is the fact that every single one on board has a story, a reason why they're here, and we all need support in one form or another. Yes, alcohol may be the one thing that we ALL have in common but it goes way deeper than that doesn't it? Life, love and laundry for a start!

Even if you're not ready to stop or cut down on your drinking yet, that's fine! You're still welcome to hop aboard the marvellous Gerald. We're a very varied bunch of Babes but we welcome anyone in need of support, even if you're not ready to say everything that you want to yet, or you feel the need to name change, that's fine! Just know that we're here for YOU for as long as you need to be.

Mouse xxx

THIS IS THE PREVIOUS THREAD IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO CATCH UP FROM WHERE WE LEFT OFF

Hello all, may I jump on the bus too please? I've been lurking for a bit and have given up alcohol for Lent so am a week alcohol-free today.

A few of you have commented how easy it feels this year, and that really resonated - in previous years you would have had to pry the wine bottle from my death grip fingers, the thought of stopping even for a month was frankly impossible... but this year for some reason the time feels right and the stars are aligned. Not missing it much at all which is utterly astonishing when I think how much I was drinking every single day.

I'm giving it 2 weeks and then hoping to add a low-carb diet into the mix for the remaining four weeks until Lent, as it would be lovely to shift a few kilos. But I'm cautious of not trying to do too many things at once - not drinking till Easter is the most important thing.

TBH I don't feel that different, I'm sleeping a bit better and not waking up at 3am with the guilts is the main difference. God that was so horrible. And yet it just didn't seem to stop me from doing it again the next day, and every single day. I would rarely drink to get drunk, or get noticeably messy, but I was scaring myself with how high my tolerance had gotten and that I could get away with drinking a bottle of wine before school pickup and nobody noticing.

I don't know why I was doing this, spending my life slightly blitzed... I adore my DC and don't know why I feel this need to anaesthetise myself during these wonderful years of their childhood, when I should be 'treasuring each moment', being present etc.

Anyway, cheers to you all (congratulations mint) and thank you for the wonderful threads, they're such a support and a help.

looking wow it sounds like you’re keeping busy!

I forgot to name-check faire and dubh - are they still around?

Hope I also think alcohol is linked to anxiety. It is for me anyway. I'm much less anxious without it. The book was 'The missing pieces of Sophie McCarthy' by B M Carroll. It was an easy read and kind of hooked me in. I haven't read anything by Jonathan Coe yet.

Welcome Bagstiv. It's really good you've done a week already. I was also a daily drinker also not really a messy one. And like you I don't really know why I always seemed to want to be in a bit of a haze. Doing it every day seems a bit of a foreign concept now having done so long dry and then having so much guilt attached to a night drinking by myself that I had 12 days ago. It's really odd as I literally spent years of my life pissed and never really worried about it at all.

Not much has been happening for me really. Just the usual work, cleaning, swimming. DS has been in trouble at school last week and this week. Both times on days when I was at work so it was reported to my dad who told my mum who told me. Then I've been told again by the school when I've done pick up/drop off myself. I hate it when I hear negative things about him because I feel like how he behaves reflects on how well I parent which obviously isn't very well if my child doesn't behave. It makes me anxious that I'm being judged. He was ok today though. Or at least I think he was. I wasn't asked to 'wait until the end'. There's a phrase that fills me with dread!

Venus I hope London has been enjoyable. Hello to Corvid, Weewee, Cara and everyone else.

I have posted on here before and have appreciated the support- but then avoid any discussion when things get worse...

My issues with alcohol have been increasing over the past year. Got to drinking at least half a bottle of wine a night and much more at the weekend.

Lots going on (could say excuses)....leaving job of 24 years under horrible circumstances, marriage in tatters.

But now also escalated into weekly massive binge and drinking to point of vomiting and/or passing out.

I have a horrible bug at the moment and did not eat or drink anything on Wednesday or Thursday and still feel awful today....so thinking that this could me my trigger to break habit- although suspect that I am now physically addicted.

Any advice from those how have been through similar - no hand holding on this is RL

Hi Swarskid sorry to hear you've had a hard year.

For me the psychological addiction was always greater than the physical addiction. I thought this article was quite a good read. Some people will highlight the risks of going cold turkey if you've been drinking continually every day for a long period, and would therefore advise a managed detox. But this is not always possible and I thought the article set out the risks. It also explains that without the 'depressive' effect of alcohol which our bodies had come to expect, our nervous system gets a bit overactive, which accounts for the feelings of anxiety.

For me, knowing what I might expect, and what was causing it helped me to deal with it at the time.

I guess that you've done the hardest for of cold turkey over the past couple of days, and any physical symptoms would have been exacerbated by your bug. (poor you!)

The key thing for me in the early days was plan, plan, plan. Plan what I was going to eat, where I was going to shop, taking only enough money to buy food and nothing left for booze. Plan what I was going to do with my hands, my brain, my time - a list of friends to call on the phone, someone elderly to write a letter to, knitting, painting your toenails, masturbating. It doesn't matter as long as you try to keep your brain and your hands occupied.

Post on here, read sober blogs (I'm sure other posters will come a recommend their favourites), join a real group AA or Smart Recovery, or a local alcohol group. You might not want to go there more than once but there was something very powerful for me, in speaking out loud, even just telling one other real life person.

Good luck!

Great post Venus. It was absolutely the fatigue for me in terms of withdrawal symptoms, also everything suddenly being very bright and loud. Good luck, Swarskid, so sorry you have a bug on top of everything else. Keep posting

Thank you. Still feeling hopelessly poorly, so am taking to my bed. Really hoping that this will be the trigger I need for a period of sobriety.

Have even been googling alcohol poisoning as I had a massive binge on Tuesday and been poorly ever since....but think probably norovirus

Hey all just checking in

High risk social event tonight. I’m going on my own. People I don’t know that well, many very rich and confident. I’m nervous already.

My moderation plan was 4 drinks max, about 1 an hour. Start with 2 soft drinks. Then G&T and red wine only (white wine makes me evil).

But I’m so nervous I think I will need a drink quite early on. And it’s a catered event where they are serving cocktails - lethal.

I might be fine, I have to be home early ish as my aunt is babysitting, I’m just worried i’ll fuck up.

How boring I have to moderate when other people don’t but I want to give this moderation thing a proper shot before becoming completely sober.

Any tips?!

Ah, ‘rich and confident’ people? Imagine ‘em on the toilet . And you are as valid a person as anyone who might be there, Cara. If you have a babysitter, you have an excuse to get off fairly early and to be avoiding too much to drink. A big glass of fizzy water can look like a G&T. Every other drink AF will fill you up and help you stay in control. Good luck!

Good start - haven’t had a drink at home which is unusual! Also have had a good glug of Bach’s rescue remedy which has calmed me down a bit... may have more of that en route.

Cara the longer you can leave your first drink the better.

Absolutely DO NOT grab a cocktail when you arrive. Make an excuse, any excuse... say that you've rushed there and you're thirsty, and you need a long glass of tonic. Or tell them you're cold and you need a hot cup of tea. Anything. If you were rich and confident you might feel entitled to ask for cold water or warm tea.

If truth be told they are probably not as confident as they appear. They might see you ordering a mug of coffee and wish they had the balls to do that too.

Hi All

Welcome swarskid hope you feel better tomorrow. I’m never ill but have been unwell for the last 5 weeks. You are right it does kick start not drinking.

Checking my drink app I’ve massively cut down and although like a lot of us work and family life is stressful- I am dealing with it much better sober.

Cara hope you are having a good evening- we drink for confidence and end up embarrassing ourselves. Even feeling slightly awkward at an event is better than how I behave drunk.

Hi to everyone else and passing strength and opal fruits round the bus for the weekend ahead.

So I’m home and I’m not paralytic. I had fun, I was fun I think. Events got dramatic and I was central to sorting those events out. I made a couple of good friendships (the people I thought of as being dull were actually the nicest) and I got home on time. I drank a fair amount but I was myself. I realised half these people are just boring - ski holidays, colour schemes - the fun people would have been fun even if they’d been sober. Anyway up early with the kids which I couldn’t have done before. Go me. X

Cara great update pleased the night went so well!

Ugh. Even though I felt happy last night, I was up from 5am boiling hot. I guess my body processing the booze. feel rough and poisoned. Head hurts. Feel familiar sense of guilt and shame. Not worth it is it!

I have read a few references to a drink app on here to track your drinking. I have had a look and there are loads! Can anyone recommend one?

I’ve started drink control

Welcome Swarskid Hope you're feeling less poorly today. I always feel like stomach bugs are never going to end whenever I get one. I don't use an app but I'm sure someone else will be able to recommend later.

efc I'll have an opal fruit. Might stop me wanting a creme egg as that's the advert I pass every time I scroll up the thread! Well done on cutting down. It must feel satisfying.

Cara I'm glad you enjoyed your night. Hope you're not still feeling rough. Maybe you just aren't used to that amount of alcohol anymore. I know I'm not.

It's very wet and windy here today, not much to report. Hope the weather isn't proving too troublesome for the Scottish babes. DS is most upset we only have rain again and no snow!

Hi stupid really but thought I would try moderating. Nothing awful has happened thankfully but my anxiety has been through the roof. Low mood back. In one month I'd gone from rarely thinking about alcohol to having a daily conversation with myself. I've has 30 units this week. Too much but no where near where I was.

Not worth it. So another day 1. Feel relieved to have made the decision. Told dh today. I think he would prefer I drank as he does but he was very supportive. Just want to keep saying it to keep confirming it!

I will catch up and read back later.

A very quiet weekend- still ill- I’ve not even made it to the football.

swarskid I use an app called strides, it’s a habit tracker and I get a green tick on days I don’t drink! I’ve also used drinkaware which tracks units and sets goals.

cara and say drinking anxiety is horrible and one of the reasons I’m cutting back. My Dh still drinks and he hasn’t been that supportive but he drinks beers and spirits so I’ve been firm that I do not want him buying wine for me.

baking fed up of the wind and rain here too- even the dogs wouldn’t go out yesterday (which suited me fine!)

I’ve started an online cbt course in the evenings- really interesting and stops me having a drink.

Hi Babes
Birthday weekend here. Drank too much. TBH been drinking too much since February - I have a theory that it is linked to the citalopram I'm on for the menopause. Totally chilled out & no mood swings, but great cravings for alcohol and no off switch. Last year I promised myself I would stop drinking and I failed.
I stopped smoking 2 years ago next week and prior to that I had 6 failed attempts so just have to keep trying (but I've had 2 bottles of gin so not for a week or two).
Love to all.
Don't know why but I thought of Elba this week. Are you still out there I loved to hear about your running? Also Wasindie

Happy Birthday, Anne! Stopping smoking is bloody brilliant. The meno’ is totally not for wimps and I’m glad the Citalopram is helping. If you feel comfortable broaching with your GP, maybe ask about the impact it has on your drinking?

Thanks Crafty I should clarify - I had 2 bottles of gin as presents, not that I've drank 2 bottles (gin is a new discovery for me - I love it,but alcohol is alcohol whatever it tastes like.

Efc- thanks for the app recommendation.

I am still ill. No more D&V since Friday, but wiped out and hardly eating. Still have a bad headache and racing heart if I leave my bed.

On the positive side, I have been AF for 5 days- the longest stretch since pregancy 15 years ago! I currently don’t miss it at all. I had a bowl of soup last night whilst DH and DC had their dinner, and did not look twice at DH wine.

Off to see the GP this morning to see if anything underlying (bizarrely feel like it is in my chest now), but actually quite pleased about an enforced detox.

Only problem is that I have whole family (20 people, including 4 under 5’s) for a birthday lunch for my dad this weekend.....with lots staying. House a mess and loads of food to prepare. And my family are v big drinkers!

Anne- I have also discovered gin recently. Used to think it tasted like perfume!

But it is dangerous for me as I hid a bottle in the kitchen cupboard, and added to a glass of orange juice could drink during the day without DH or DC noticing I was drinking alcohol...