The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Step Into Our Christmas Thread!

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm Mouse

A HUGE welcome to the Bus!

This is the one and only Gerald. Over the years, we've travelled far and wide gathering some truly remarkable Babes along the way, all of whom have been (and remain to be) at different stages of their own personal journey to sobriety or controlled drinking, depending on what it is that they want to achieve.

We have those who drink daily, those who drink occasionally, and also those who have been sober for some time. The one thing that you won't find here, is any judgey knickers! We're ALL here because at one point or another, we've hit our own "rock bottom" and then smashed the shit out of the FUCK IT button! (makes a note to order a new FUCK IT button)

This is without doubt one of the hardest times of the year for many of us, what with Christmas parties, alcohol on tap, supermarkets who have offers galore of various tipples stacked from floor to ceiling, and EVERY advert on TV shows you what an amazingly cool person you can be if you were drinking whatever brand of alcohol they're flogging! Even Christmas puddings and Brandy creams are tempting fate because as soon as you digest even a small amount of alcohol, it makes your body crave more, just like smoking, medication and recreational drugs................

Then there's the gifts that you're given! Champagne Truffles, Liquors, wines, spirits, you name it! So unless you've told people about your planned journey, people assume that buying gifts like that completely acceptable. So, some may feel obliged to consume such gifts and why not? It's Christmas after all. Then we have the New Year festivities..... parties, friends and family over to have drinks because you'll stop drinking after New Years' Day won't you?

It's so damn hard not to drink if that's what you've been doing all year anyway before you even reach this time of year!! How will you cope with your Great Aunt who will check for dust by running finger over ever surface, or Uncle knobhead who will be there in his cream suit, with that suspicious stain on it and his burgundy shirt asking for a Babycham! Also, let's not forget the in-laws/out-laws! We can sometimes put so much pressure on ourselves that we convince ourselves that we DESERVE that glass or seven of wine etc.

At the end of the day, if you want to drink, then you will. I appreciate that doesn't sound supportive but it's certainly true in my case. As I have said before, the most amazing thing about this Bus and those who travel along with it, is the fact that every single one on board has a story, a reason why they're here, and we all need support in one form or another. Yes, alcohol may be the one thing that we ALL have in common but it goes way deeper than that doesn't it? Life, love and laundry for a start!

Even if you're not ready to stop or cut down on your drinking yet, that's fine! You're still welcome to hop aboard the marvellous Gerald. We're a very varied bunch of Babes but we welcome anyone in need of support, even if you're not ready to say everything that you want to yet, or you feel the need to name change, that's fine! Just know that we're here for YOU for as long as you need to be.

Mouse xxx

THIS IS THE PREVIOUS THREAD IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO CATCH UP FROM WHERE WE LEFT OFF

Welcome cilantro. Wine is an utter bastard isnt it?

It is indeed a right bastard! demented It has been most unhelpful. That and my bendy arm! I’m using a dry app which is useful. Thursday is hard.
But my booze use has gotten out of hand again - loss of control @ work leads to feeling overwhelmed/daily anxiety AND made me fat. I must stop drinking every day. And I have, for now.

This is Cilantro’s Last Stand ✊🏻

Welcone, Colantro! Good to have you on board.

CilantroChili I know that horrible wine witch all to well! Moderation if you can do it is great. Unfortunately I couldn't. I've been AF for 433 days (bloody hell!) and it's been extremly tough! In that time I've had some major life shit thrown at me and so many times I could have opened that bottle but with the support on here I managed to distract myself .
I feel that I'm among friends here and I'll be proud to count you as one too on your journey. I can always distract you with gratuitous cute animal photos too.

Thanks for the lovely welcome
Lovely animal pics are always a big bonus! 433 AF days is amazing... I have 8!
So the working week is almost finished. I’ve eaten better, slept more, no booze - and my face has broken out madly and dried up. I look exhausted 😩 Wtf!!
Anyway- it’s Friday!

cilantro don't feel defeated by the amazing success of others, we are all on our own path, and each of us were on our own day 1 (or nail biting first hour, or minute...). And sometimes repeated over and over again.

There's an AA saying based on the 'one day at a time' principle:
Q: Who has been sober for longest?
A: The person who got up earliest this morning

I like that because it makes all of us equal every morning. No matter what happened yesterday, we are all in the same place day to day. All that has changed is our patterns, habits and learning ways to cope.

And while we're on animal photos....

Haven’t got a cute animal pic’ or a pithy saying today. I am wet, cold and post-viral. Went for a walk in the rain and, well, this is Yorkshire rain. We’ll have none of your gentle Southern rain, thank you. Goretex over-trousers would have been a good idea, but I misjudged the extent of the deluge. I’m now sitting in front of a roaring fire in the pub by the railway station, having a cuppa and steaming gently.

CilantroChili
A wise woman on here once directed me to

Garnier moisture face masks when my face broke out during detox I highly recommend them.

Hi everyone and welcome Cilantro.

My face is bright red at the moment- looks like I drink a bottle of whisky a day. Was hoping to be glowing too.

Love the dog picks- I have 2 dogs both very unusal breeds so I would out myself straight away.

Planning an early night- dh away so my house is quiet and tidy.

Hello

Sorry for not name-checking everyone, but I’m bound to forget

Except ma venus looking fox and of course mouse

Morning!

Dreadful mix with moderation yesterday. Dinner with 2 boozy friends to celebrate one’s promotion. Started with a cocktail - wish I’d had something weaker but waiter persuaded me to have a tequila cocktail. Then 2 bottles of wine at dinner, followed by a G&T, by this time it was super late. Didn’t think I was drunk but husband called at 1am saying baby was awake and crying and what the fuck was I doing and it hit me - I’ve got a small baby and what the hell was I doing?! Hotfooted home in an Uber to comfort baby and now up at 6am with baby with a very sore head and that same feeling of utter shame. ‘You stink of booze’ was what he said when I got in. Yes I’d been drinking the same as the other girls, I felt in control but of course I wasn’t as I’d not come home straight after supper. I can never control it when I drink and I’m always irresponsible.

I wish I could moderate but I guess I just can’t...

Hi Cara - in answer to what you were ‘doing’ - you were having a night out with friends. I could understand your DP being a bit hacked off if you’d said it was afternoon tea and you’d be back by 4, but presumably he knew a night out meant a night out and that it was his turn to care for your baby? The struggle with moderation is one thing. Being bollocked for enjoying a night off is another. I’m sure you’d be the one home with the baby if he wanted a night out?

Cara for me it starts with that first drink. Having the resolution to choose a mock tail or even just lime and soda makes it so much easier to drink moderately later on, or not to drink at all. 2 big non alcoholic drinks to start with fill you up with water (instead of dehydrating you) so if you do have wine later you are much less likely to glug it down.

Still, it was an interesting experiment for you, and I guess this morning you're feeling the result. Hope you're better soon.

aliasjoey lovely to see you! How are things?

Thanks venus feeling a bit sorry for myself as I fell off the wagon and under the wheels last night.

Well not really, I ‘only’ had the equivalent of 1 bottle of wine but because lately I’ve been drinking low-alcohol I think my body wasn’t used to it. Had a bad night, hangover (and to think I used to regularly have that much, and never got a hangover!) and just felt ashamed this morning.

Anyway how are you doing? How is everyone?

Joey! Good to see you old buddy.

Hey, a bit less of the ‘old’ if you don’t mind

How are you?

Thank you Corvid and Looking for your kind words. I think you're right. There's a massive difference between a couple of cocktails for a special occasion and having a drink by myself for the sake of it and ending up in a mess. Last weekend has well and truly put me off so I'm proud to report I am now 8 days sober today. Gone back to my cross stitch and the telly. Plus I started an excellent book last week that I read over 2 days. I love it when I find something that really grips me and I just want to sit and read.

Mint Massive congratulations! I love the idea of a bus wedding. Please let Ma and Venus be your witnesses!! I shall raise an AF glass if you share the date!

Cilantro Welcome to the bus. I think you'll like it here. I'm not around as much as I used to be but I still pop in. Being AF does wonders for my mental health and my skin. I was horribly anxious the beginning of the week and I'm sure it was to do with the drink on Saturday. I feel much happier this weekend having not had any.

Cara Hope you're feeling better tonight. I think though if it was a planned night out (ok you were late but you came back when messaged) then really DH could have had the baby for you in the morning aswell. It's a bit shit to make you do the day after knowing you'd be hungover. Does he get up with the baby after his nights out?

Joey Hope you're feeling better tonight as well. I did something very similar last week and spent the days after feeling very shit. However, it's hardened my resolve to stay pretty much dry because no matter how big the break between drinks I'm clearly someone who can't handle it.

Hello everyone! Happy Monday...
not sure how this moderation thing is going to work for me as of yet - starting week 3 of it.
Had drinks Friday and Saturday. And Sunday. Not great, is it??
BUT I didn’t have drinks Mon-Thursday.
I feel so low lately and I don’t think it’s all alcohol related but I keep putting off going to the doctor
It might be menopause
It might be depression
It might be anxiety (broken marriage/living with exh)
It might be work pressure as failing badly
It might be all of the above
On the Plus Side
I dug out my yoga mat today so now all I have to do is go to a class!!!

Hello all, I've not been on here at all for a bit, and my my is it eventful! Congrats ma and mint. Great stuff.

Lots of peeps beating themselves up as well, which is not so good. Whatever path we're on, moderation or abstinence, and whether managing weight, mental health or something else, being kind to ourselves is central to everything. Big hugs and high fives for all of us. We're facing our problems and trying our best. So, can i get a`Whoop Whoop'? Keep on keeping on.

I'm slipping myself, but coming back on the bus will help my resolve. Dry January was phenomenally joyful for me. Why on earth is that not compelling enough? It's a powerful pervasive addiction i have. But today I will not drink. Day 3.

Well done weeweewoman It's good to recognise how good being alcohol free can be, and even better to get back on it when you know you've slipped a bit.

I'm off to London in an hour, I just have to drop off the naughty puppy first (she's not ours, just staying with us for a while). The 5am barking has been a challenge!

JOEY Hey, how are you? Lovely to see you again! I am ... well, keeping going I suppose. DD doing mock GCSEs (stress) and planning prom (more stress - honestly it is so expensive and all the prom dresses that we've seen so far look like they should be worn by big matronly Hattie Jacques types on cruise ships, not tiny 15-year-old girls) and I am working all the hours and dealing with exWB and evil ex SIL - but otherwise all good. Lot of crap TV going on in my life. No dates!

Cara I have to say I agree with Corvid - you are allowed a night out you know. If you are not happy with drinking more than you wanted that is one thing to deal with but does your husband never go out? Hmm .

I do get all the 'drank more than I wanted and now I feel awful' posts though. I always get this. I actually think alcohol chemically gives me anxiety if I have too much (and I usually have too much, or want to) but equally it is because I am now in the mindset that I have a problem so am predisposed to the guilt before I even have a drink IYSWIM. I think this a lot - some friends of mine will get pissed now and again and cheerfully admit to a hangover and being a bit of an arse the next day and then just carry on with their lives - whereas I go off on a shame spiral, and get anxious, and then drink again and so on. A lot of it is in the framing I think, and I am trying to frame my thoughts better. So what I am trying to say in a not very succinct way is don't beat yourselves up babes, because guilt and shame are not the way to make progress.

Cilantro HRT did wonders for me. Cannot recommend it highly enough. Also Yoga wise - someone recommended a YouTube Channel called Yoga by Adriene if you can't quite get to a class. It is free and meant to be amazing.

Venus another lime and soda fan here. It is what I drink when I don't drink! Enjoy London.

WeeWee welcome back. Congrats on day 3. Baking congrats on your 8 (and what is the book you are reading? I am reading Number 11 by Jonathan Coe - really good)

For the record, I have not had a drink in around 10 days and feel fine - but as Baking said, even if I have a long gap between drinking, doesn't mean I can handle it when I go back to it. Sometimes I can (when I am happy) and sometimes I can't (when I am stressed and/or sad).

Am now going to watch Line of Duty - for anyone who doesn't know it, the box sets of Season 1 - 4 have just popped up on iPlayer. If you like Adrian Dunbar, Vicky McClure and violence (as I do - not in real life but on TV), it is bloody good!

Have a good week all x