The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Step Into Our Christmas Thread!

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm Mouse

A HUGE welcome to the Bus!

This is the one and only Gerald. Over the years, we've travelled far and wide gathering some truly remarkable Babes along the way, all of whom have been (and remain to be) at different stages of their own personal journey to sobriety or controlled drinking, depending on what it is that they want to achieve.

We have those who drink daily, those who drink occasionally, and also those who have been sober for some time. The one thing that you won't find here, is any judgey knickers! We're ALL here because at one point or another, we've hit our own "rock bottom" and then smashed the shit out of the FUCK IT button! (makes a note to order a new FUCK IT button)

This is without doubt one of the hardest times of the year for many of us, what with Christmas parties, alcohol on tap, supermarkets who have offers galore of various tipples stacked from floor to ceiling, and EVERY advert on TV shows you what an amazingly cool person you can be if you were drinking whatever brand of alcohol they're flogging! Even Christmas puddings and Brandy creams are tempting fate because as soon as you digest even a small amount of alcohol, it makes your body crave more, just like smoking, medication and recreational drugs................

Then there's the gifts that you're given! Champagne Truffles, Liquors, wines, spirits, you name it! So unless you've told people about your planned journey, people assume that buying gifts like that completely acceptable. So, some may feel obliged to consume such gifts and why not? It's Christmas after all. Then we have the New Year festivities..... parties, friends and family over to have drinks because you'll stop drinking after New Years' Day won't you?

It's so damn hard not to drink if that's what you've been doing all year anyway before you even reach this time of year!! How will you cope with your Great Aunt who will check for dust by running finger over ever surface, or Uncle knobhead who will be there in his cream suit, with that suspicious stain on it and his burgundy shirt asking for a Babycham! Also, let's not forget the in-laws/out-laws! We can sometimes put so much pressure on ourselves that we convince ourselves that we DESERVE that glass or seven of wine etc.

At the end of the day, if you want to drink, then you will. I appreciate that doesn't sound supportive but it's certainly true in my case. As I have said before, the most amazing thing about this Bus and those who travel along with it, is the fact that every single one on board has a story, a reason why they're here, and we all need support in one form or another. Yes, alcohol may be the one thing that we ALL have in common but it goes way deeper than that doesn't it? Life, love and laundry for a start!

Even if you're not ready to stop or cut down on your drinking yet, that's fine! You're still welcome to hop aboard the marvellous Gerald. We're a very varied bunch of Babes but we welcome anyone in need of support, even if you're not ready to say everything that you want to yet, or you feel the need to name change, that's fine! Just know that we're here for YOU for as long as you need to be.

Mouse xxx

THIS IS THE PREVIOUS THREAD IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO CATCH UP FROM WHERE WE LEFT OFF

I lost some weight last year and it feels so much easier to move around, walk, go upstairs. But no running for me EVER. In awe of ma and all others who persist.

Venus - how are you feeling? Really hope you are recovering and feeling better - sounds to have been a tough time.

Ma - your running is totally awesome. I am so impressed - 25 mins! I am totally of the view that speed is irrelevant - we are all different and have different goals and abilities for exercise (and everything else). But that level of 'improvement' in stamina in such a short space of time is incredible. You've inspired me to hobble out for a brief 2k earlier this evening - so nice to do so in the mild, springy air with all the blossom around. Though i don't even want to think about the climate change implications. My running speed has actually got worse over the last few months, no idea why, but I am not particularly fussed. It still feels like a miraculous achievement just to do it at all.

Feeling cautiously positive generally. Another weekend away reaffirms that a dry-ish couple of months has not somehow bestowed on me an off switch. If I start drinking, I don't stop: slow, steady and constant during the afternoons/evenings. However, what seems a bit different is my ability not to start again when back from a break. Usually I've thought after a lapse 'hmm, blown it now, might as well dissolve in a self pitying heap of Sancerre and hey, why not start drinking even more than I did before'. This time after four days of blow out, I have had three entirely comfortable sober days at home going back to my dry jan feelings of calm and contentment. So, whilst I am not kidding myself this makes me in any way safe to moderate, and I know this is a super slippery slope, at least I feel I haven't relapsed totally.

Hope everyone is ok. Ma, keeping everything crossed for Fri.

Is it ok to take a small notebook into the interview do you rhink?

I would say so, ma. Best of luck and let us know how it goes.

Good luck ma, everything crossed for you

Hi

ma good luck for tomorrow! Not sure about the notebook sorry. But you have the whole bus behind you!

small well done on stopping once you got home, sounds like a breakthrough!

Sober week here, have a very quiet weekend planned. Hi to everyone!

Thanks Mint and Corvid for the voodoo dolls and curses . Thanks everyone else for the support .

Just keeping head down and carrying on witg the grind of work, teen angst, GCSEs, Prom Dress anxiety and Ikea furniture building (always a single drawer that won't fit!) Boss being arsey over annual leave, threatening the summer holiday I worked a second job to pay for and am in verge of resignation due to that and stress. No give and take at all. Also want me to attend residential away day the day my DD starts GCSEs. I live 200 miles further away from the venue than anyone else too. .

Still, got lovely weekend planned - dinner with old friend tomorrow, other friend staying on Saturday and lovely DS home on Sunday. There will be drink but hoping I can moderate. Then no social plans for a bit so back on fitness regime (gained 5lb I simply can't shift since Christmas).

Small well done on your not starting again after a break. I definitely struggle with this. Am becoming a real 'all or nothing' drinker which worries me. If I don't have it for a few days I honestly don't think about it, but once I'm on a roll .... so well done you, I shall try to 'be more Small come Sunday when my two nights out are done.

Venus - hope you feel better soon lovely xxx

And last but not least huge love and luck to Ma tomorrow. You've got this!!!

I'm fine, I was just feeling sorry for myself, and it always feel safe to moan on here when no-one else seems to be listening, or when they last thing they need is my woes and troubles. All bright and bushytailed and back to normal.

ma I hope the interview went well

looking have a great weekend, and stick to your guns about your planned holiday (or just say nothing and then get mysteriously 'sick'). It is so important to take a break, especially after the year you've had. You need to keep looking after yourself in all the ways you can think of.

Well babes......drum roll....got the job!
Still stunned but also excited.

Yasaaay! Congratulations, ma

Congratulations Ma! Not been on for a while and was going to wish you luck but obviously I didn't need too!

What a star! Well done ma

thanks all. I was worried my interview repsonses had been a bit too flippant and "chatty" but they seem to have seen the potential underneath. It's all a bit scary. hard to explain what the job is without totally outing myself but i am now Head of X, with all the responsibility that entails.
Interview panel was 3 ex-military men, and 3 other candidates were ex-military men so they are going out on a limb trusitng a purple haired, female civilian. Couldnt do this without the support of the Babes on this bus over the years. You guys rock

CongratulationsMa so pleased for you!

ma well done you! Proud of you!

ma absolutely thrilled to hear your news! You’ll be great!

So, I'm posting to confess my sins from last night. I broke my dry period (1 year, 1 month and 1 week) with 2 cocktails for my Mum's birthday on holiday in February. Since we've been back I haven't had any alcohol. I even went out with work on Thursday and drove so I wouldn't drink.

Yesterday it all went wrong. I bought a big bottle of corona, just one to have at home. I drank it chatting to my friend. All good. DS has been asking awkward questions about his dad and we were talking about that. When we'd finished I started looking at photos from years ago and cracked open a bottle of fizz that's been hanging around in my cupboard for over 6 months. I drank all that to myself. My tolerance is so low now that I was hammered. I've really hurt my leg. I've got the hangover from hell today. I feel guilty because it's a weekend and DS wants to do stuff with me and I feel really rubbish.

I don't feel as horrific as I did earlier so we might be able to salvage some of the day but I'm terrified I've started something now and it'll be a slippery slope all the way back to pre 2018. I just don't know why I bought any alcohol at all. I wasn't even meant to be in the alcohol aisle. I'm so cross with myself.

A year plus is a big achievement, baking, and a few slips doesn’t change that (nearly typed ‘a few sips doesn’t change that’ which would also be true). It sounds like you noticed a few changes in how it felt to be drinking; a couple of cocktails on holiday was enjoyable and reminded you of the fact that alcohol is fun. A bottle of beer was probably still fun but the tough conversations with DS and what that evoked for you tipped the balance towards it being self-medicating not fun, and when that happens we don’t feel in control anymore. You have done brilliantly to get to a year and then some. You’ve experimented a bit with what drinking after abstinence feels like and it seems to be mixed emotions. Hope you recover a bit of your Saturday. Me and DH are getting over short-but-brutal flu’ey virus. Just had to go and have a little lie down after having a bath and cleaning my teeth! It reminded me of what hangovers feel like. Take care, drink lots of water and give yourself and your DS a big hug.

Aw brilliant news Ma:you you totally deserve it. You'll be amazing! Does this mean big pay rise too? You can start an escape fund!

Corvid hope you feel better soon. Lie down and box set today?

Baking a year off is brilliant. Don't overthink one slip. Like Corvid says you were experimenting and learning your triggers. Lots of people probably have a drink to cope with tricky feelings and triggers but they don't identify as having an alcohol issue so don't let kt haunt them, just write it off as a eeak moment/bad night. But those of us who have had a habitual issue always think we are back on a slippery slope. We needn't be. (I am being a huge hypocrite as have been doing a fair bit of stress drinking myself but am working on it with anti-anxiety meditation. I am a crap meditator bit persevering and now when it pops into my head that I 'need' a drink I tell myself it is just a thought that's popped into my head, I don't need to act on it or view it as a craving that won't go away till I give in. Sometimes works, sometimes not depending on how low and tired and anxious I am. But sometimes is a start.

Last night I did the most un 'me' thing ever .... after most of a bottle of wine over the course of an evening with a big meal, we went for a nightcap on the way to the taxi and I ordered a mint tea! I never usually refuse when others are carrying on. And I walked out of the restaurant leaving a half full glass of a really pricey Malbec on the table. I never do this, ever. So maybe the meditation is working

Hope you all have a good weekend planned xxx

Ps sorry for typos, my phone has a shit keyboard!

Well today I had the nicest surprise by meeting the lovely Venus at an event, purely by chance. Made my day.
To those struggling, count the small successes; the abandoned glass of wine, the choice of tea, the mouthfuls poured down the sink. They all count.

And I had a doubly delightful surprise, meeting the wonderful ma and her beautiful daughter. Small world!

Congrats Ma. Your news has cheered me up. Unfortunately I don't have many small successes to count. Day 15 of being "off the wagon" after 54 dry days, of which I have drunk on 9 of those. Lay awake all night last night with anxiety for no reason (i.e. I didn't do anything bad after drinking at a girls lunch on Saturday and went home reasonably early) so I think it's physiological (was also so hot I had to put the air con on so possibly it's the perimenopause- yay!!). Just so bored of myself.

My only consolation is that now I've seen the benefits of "the other side" I have more motivation to stay on that side of the fence. I now have no more "temptation events" until 7 April (God I even know the exact date) so I'm going for another dry run. Wish me luck.

You had 54 dry days beer! Thats massive. In the last 30 years ive only done that when I've been pregnant. You went home early after a few drinks with friends..that's good. I am impressed

Ma
HUGE congratulations on the job. I knew you could do it!!!