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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Step Into Our Christmas Thread!

999 replies

Mouseface · 24/12/2018 21:59

Hello, I'm Mouse Smile

A HUGE welcome to the Bus!

This is the one and only Gerald. Over the years, we've travelled far and wide gathering some truly remarkable Babes along the way, all of whom have been (and remain to be) at different stages of their own personal journey to sobriety or controlled drinking, depending on what it is that they want to achieve.

We have those who drink daily, those who drink occasionally, and also those who have been sober for some time. The one thing that you won't find here, is any judgey knickers! Grin We're ALL here because at one point or another, we've hit our own "rock bottom" and then smashed the shit out of the FUCK IT button! (makes a note to order a new FUCK IT button)

This is without doubt one of the hardest times of the year for many of us, what with Christmas parties, alcohol on tap, supermarkets who have offers galore of various tipples stacked from floor to ceiling, and EVERY advert on TV shows you what an amazingly cool person you can be if you were drinking whatever brand of alcohol they're flogging! Even Christmas puddings and Brandy creams are tempting fate because as soon as you digest even a small amount of alcohol, it makes your body crave more, just like smoking, medication and recreational drugs................

Then there's the gifts that you're given! Champagne Truffles, Liquors, wines, spirits, you name it! So unless you've told people about your planned journey, people assume that buying gifts like that completely acceptable. So, some may feel obliged to consume such gifts and why not? It's Christmas after all. Then we have the New Year festivities..... parties, friends and family over to have drinks because you'll stop drinking after New Years' Day won't you?

It's so damn hard not to drink if that's what you've been doing all year anyway before you even reach this time of year!! How will you cope with your Great Aunt who will check for dust by running finger over ever surface, or Uncle knobhead who will be there in his cream suit, with that suspicious stain on it and his burgundy shirt asking for a Babycham! Also, let's not forget the in-laws/out-laws! We can sometimes put so much pressure on ourselves that we convince ourselves that we DESERVE that glass or seven of wine etc.

At the end of the day, if you want to drink, then you will. I appreciate that doesn't sound supportive but it's certainly true in my case. As I have said before, the most amazing thing about this Bus and those who travel along with it, is the fact that every single one on board has a story, a reason why they're here, and we all need support in one form or another. Yes, alcohol may be the one thing that we ALL have in common but it goes way deeper than that doesn't it? Life, love and laundry for a start! Grin

Even if you're not ready to stop or cut down on your drinking yet, that's fine! You're still welcome to hop aboard the marvellous Gerald. We're a very varied bunch of Babes but we welcome anyone in need of support, even if you're not ready to say everything that you want to yet, or you feel the need to name change, that's fine! Just know that we're here for YOU for as long as you need to be.

Mouse Smile xxx

THIS IS THE PREVIOUS THREAD IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO CATCH UP FROM WHERE WE LEFT OFF

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36
venusandmars · 19/02/2019 13:06

Oh looking no slap from me, instead I'm wrapping a warm soft blanket round you, switching your phone and email to a magical setting that automatically answers any problems, and making you a lovely cup of refreshing tea Brew You are always welcome here, and we'll be your friends.

venusandmars · 19/02/2019 13:07

Well done amazon for getting back on it. KOKO especially after a wee fall.

Craftycorvid · 19/02/2019 18:06

Big hug, Looking , to go with the nice cuppa from Venus

And good call, Amazon

dementedma · 19/02/2019 20:23

hope take a deep breath. You did the right thing in leaving abusive WB. Hold onto that thought. Sounds like you are overwhelmed by everything at the moment. Dd wont be going anywhere anytime soon, she still needs you. Have a sleep at 5he back of the bus and see hiw things feel tomorroe

SmallFox · 19/02/2019 20:26

Hope, lovely, sending all the hugs. You are so brave but you have to somehow take time to look after yourself. You are holding it together for DD and your clients, but can you try to carve out a bit of time for you? It might not be easy time or even enjoyable, but time to think about what you really want and how you might get there. Don't beat yourself up about anything at all. You are brilliant. You didn't 'fail' dry Jan, you just didn't have the headspace - hang in there, stick with us and try to take time for you. I hate that client thing - you need them, you have to pander to them but you just want to get out and forget about them all - I'm so with you on that, babe.

Waves to all. Any news from Sweet? Hope you're ok, lovely -- know you are busy.

I am ok - had a drink this weekend which was planned, drank more than I wanted, which wasn't (but was predictable - six weeks abstinence has not given me an off switch) but the good thing is I have not drunk again afterwards and do not plan to do so. So am cautiously positive. I also just looked at my sleep and blood pressure patterns for that one day I drank (and drank much less than I used to, daily), and they are both messed up beyond measure. The BP average was up 26 for that one day. Blimey.

Ma, cheering you on for your interview -- how is it all going?

Sorry for not NC'ing all - will read back properly now but wanted to leap on board to administer blankets, opal fruits and general care and affection on Hope.

Weeweewoman · 20/02/2019 03:12

Morning all, have slipped back same as you small basically back into my bad old ways, but now with added confusion to go with general poor headspace of a habitual drinker. Must read back on all of our January posts to reconnect with those positive vibes. So Day one again yesterday for me as well Amazon. Here's to us!

Dearest hope offering you all the Flowers and hugs in the world. Would it help to try to seek out pleasure in the first instance? Things that don't initially have to take additional time - a piece of music that at lifts you, wearing wearing your favourite clothes, enjoying a view of the moon, sharing a meal or a giggle with DD. I suppose I'm suggesting some positive mindfulness {with just the odd WB voodoo stabbing) You might identify somethings which you can swap in and out of rather than looking for the elusive 'more time'. Good luck and keep checking in.

When's the interview ma? Rooting for you! How are things ooops and cara? I hope you are both okay.
Hi as well to all you troopers crafty venus and everyone else on the merry bus. Xx

Trust2017 · 20/02/2019 06:44

Morning all
Just hopping on after reading the post from Looking sounds like you are having a really tough time of it but you sound so strong in the way you are managing to pull yourself through in real life. You are amazing! Keep going and it will get better x
Hi to all of the babes on the bus. Having some tricky family stuff but will try and post more often.
Have a good day everybody

MintToBee · 20/02/2019 14:04

Waves.
I've been lurking from my sick bed. This sodding flu virus knocked me out! I'll catch up with you all later. But I'm definitely alive. Just Grin

MintToBee · 20/02/2019 14:06

ma
How did the interview go?

dementedma · 20/02/2019 19:40

interview next week - March 1st!

LookingforHope · 21/02/2019 20:19

Hey all - thank you for all the supportive messages, you are all amazing! And sorry for my pitying post - I am trying hard, day by day, to cope with stuff and also to create joy, which I can (lovely meal with friend and theatre last night, joyous school reunion today) but then find out things at random (like ex-WB is in Vienna with his new 'secret' girlfriend that I was the last to know about. He never took me out in 20 years and certainly never paid for a holiday. I know it should not affect me and it doesn't as in I SO don't want to be in Vienna with that knob, so not jealous, but again - had to find out from my son as my daughter (and ex WB) didn't tell me) Still drinking - cans of G&T after hard day. I don't want to, but I do. But at least coming on here I am admitting it and accountable. I would love to be into meditation and yoga and calm but at the moment is hectic activity, stress and drink!

Ma - am sure you will ace your interview. Have followed you on here (and in RL and on FB) for years and your passion and commitment and competence for your job shines through! You are amazing and they are lucky to have you.

Mint - sending you hot water bottles, lucozade and love. Hope you get better soon xxx

Small, WeeWee, Corvid, Venus, Sweet, Trust thank you for the support

MintToBee · 21/02/2019 21:11

Well I'm feeling a lot better now Hope now that my divorce has come through! I fucking love Scotland. I did it myself to the tune of £145 and in 6 weeks!!! Bloody awesome! Still full of snot but happy with it.

LookingforHope · 21/02/2019 22:03

Mint still have to go through divorce and sacked solicitor who was £200 an hour, turned up late for appointments and looked like a scruffy, dirty version of Tosh Lines from The Bill. Envious of Scottish system. Just found out so called penniless ex is in Vienna with new girlfriend. Never so much as paid for a pub lunch for me. Is not paying a penny in maintenance for the kids. Hope his plane explodes on the way home

efc1878 · 22/02/2019 18:00

Hi everyone- after Friday night support as Dh has started on the wine- so he’ll be useless in an hour or so. I’m determined not to join in!

Sorry to go awol had a few days away- I did drink but not a lot and didn’t have hangover so I feel in control. Checked my app and have drunk on 10 days this year- and never to excess so I’m pleased with that. Aim to do dry March (not that it’s a thing)

Well done to the runners. Hugs to hope you’ve had a horrible time but you are so strong getting away from your ex, take your time to heal. Find yourself again, you sound like a lovely person who has had an awful time.

ma good luck for the job interview!

Hi to all the others on the bus- here’s to a peaceful Friday.

dementedma · 22/02/2019 20:14

hi all. well done efc on staying strong.
I'm a bit lapsed so need to get a grip and get back on it. Am drinking G and T rather than wine which I kid myself is better for me, but its beginning to creep up to a couple a night. The wine club thingy I joined at Christmas emailed to say a box was on its way, so I called them and cancelled it. Too much temptation.
Other than that the dr has taken me off HRT and I'm dying of hot flushes...any ideas other than the usual stuff about exercise, wearing cotton, not eating spicy food etc etc. I need something that fucking works!!!

AnneBoleynsHead · 22/02/2019 21:11

Hi Babes,
Ma I am on citalopram now. It's an anti depressant but has the side effect of stopping night sweats. Don' t know about daytime sweats as I don't get them. I had awful mood swings as well which have stopped. I can recommend it.
I have also switched to G and T. I can moderate but unlike wine the bottle is still there the next day so I find it hard to have a day off. On wine tonight, but promised DH I'll run in the morning so need to stop soon (I'm not fast and get home the colour of a beetroot but I do love running, great for my mental health as well as weight)
Also sending a hug to Hope wish I had some wise words or genius advice, but I don't, except "this too shall pass" (no idea who said it).
Happy weekend to all.

MintToBee · 23/02/2019 06:41

Makes voodoo dolls for LookingforHope

dementedma · 23/02/2019 17:57

They've put me on a different AD (fluoxetine) but its having no effect on the sweats. Bought Sage tablets today to see if that helps. Am on the Becks Blue today

Craftycorvid · 23/02/2019 18:44

Mint. You sort the dolls and I’ll sort the karmically appropriate curses ‘cackles’ 🧙‍♀️I think this is a witch emoji?

Evening all! Had a nice chilled day with a friend but did get to the point of thinking what would go really well with that would be a very cold sauv’ blanc. I didn’t but I’m feeling a bit regretful. ☹️

efc1878 · 23/02/2019 19:13

Hi everyone,

Saturday night check in! Just back from the supermarket- bought gingerbread and crisps but no alcohol. Plan a binge of Dirty John on Netflix- very creepy.

ma well done on cancelling the wine and hope you get some relief from sweats.

mint and crafty can I give you a list of names for the voodoo curses! Everyone seems to be annoying me at the minute!

Have a nice Saturday evening everyone.

Slingsanderrors · 23/02/2019 19:53

I’m well past the menopause now, but I used Menopace which I bought from Boots, seemed to help with the night sweats, and the mood swings.

venusandmars · 24/02/2019 23:04

nightmare weekend. working at an event, exhausted.

Ella2103 · 25/02/2019 00:44

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oneyearnobeer · 25/02/2019 13:12

Hi. Slinking back from girls’ weekend which was amazing but I drank a fair bit ( prob equivalent of a bottle of wine a day for 4 days). Didn’t slur, fall over or get memory loss so that’s a plus!!!!! I always just want more though. That ‘never enough’ song from Greatest Showman is my ode to rosé. Bit disappointed as first drink since Jan 1.

Determined to have a dry week this week despite two nights out.

looking that sounds like very tough circumstances. Be kind to yourself. I know the feeling of ‘inbox anxiety’ all too well.

ma good luck at your interview. Fingers crossed for you.

dementedma · 25/02/2019 20:07

venus you feeling any better?
Thanks beer, its creeping every closer...

Am doing the Couch to 5K and tonight I ran for 25 minutes. 6 weeks ago I stuggled to run for 90 seconds. Very pleased although when my running buddy and I shared our respective weights i realised I am carrying an extra two stone on these runs. no wonder she's faster than me!

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