The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Step Into Our Christmas Thread!

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm Mouse

A HUGE welcome to the Bus!

This is the one and only Gerald. Over the years, we've travelled far and wide gathering some truly remarkable Babes along the way, all of whom have been (and remain to be) at different stages of their own personal journey to sobriety or controlled drinking, depending on what it is that they want to achieve.

We have those who drink daily, those who drink occasionally, and also those who have been sober for some time. The one thing that you won't find here, is any judgey knickers! We're ALL here because at one point or another, we've hit our own "rock bottom" and then smashed the shit out of the FUCK IT button! (makes a note to order a new FUCK IT button)

This is without doubt one of the hardest times of the year for many of us, what with Christmas parties, alcohol on tap, supermarkets who have offers galore of various tipples stacked from floor to ceiling, and EVERY advert on TV shows you what an amazingly cool person you can be if you were drinking whatever brand of alcohol they're flogging! Even Christmas puddings and Brandy creams are tempting fate because as soon as you digest even a small amount of alcohol, it makes your body crave more, just like smoking, medication and recreational drugs................

Then there's the gifts that you're given! Champagne Truffles, Liquors, wines, spirits, you name it! So unless you've told people about your planned journey, people assume that buying gifts like that completely acceptable. So, some may feel obliged to consume such gifts and why not? It's Christmas after all. Then we have the New Year festivities..... parties, friends and family over to have drinks because you'll stop drinking after New Years' Day won't you?

It's so damn hard not to drink if that's what you've been doing all year anyway before you even reach this time of year!! How will you cope with your Great Aunt who will check for dust by running finger over ever surface, or Uncle knobhead who will be there in his cream suit, with that suspicious stain on it and his burgundy shirt asking for a Babycham! Also, let's not forget the in-laws/out-laws! We can sometimes put so much pressure on ourselves that we convince ourselves that we DESERVE that glass or seven of wine etc.

At the end of the day, if you want to drink, then you will. I appreciate that doesn't sound supportive but it's certainly true in my case. As I have said before, the most amazing thing about this Bus and those who travel along with it, is the fact that every single one on board has a story, a reason why they're here, and we all need support in one form or another. Yes, alcohol may be the one thing that we ALL have in common but it goes way deeper than that doesn't it? Life, love and laundry for a start!

Even if you're not ready to stop or cut down on your drinking yet, that's fine! You're still welcome to hop aboard the marvellous Gerald. We're a very varied bunch of Babes but we welcome anyone in need of support, even if you're not ready to say everything that you want to yet, or you feel the need to name change, that's fine! Just know that we're here for YOU for as long as you need to be.

Mouse xxx

THIS IS THE PREVIOUS THREAD IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO CATCH UP FROM WHERE WE LEFT OFF

ma amazing weight loss- any tips?

Morning All.

Ma, brilliant weight loss.

Sorry I'm not able to post as regularly, or offer much in the way of support at the moment. I'm hanging in there, but have some stuff going on with DS that is occupying most of my emotional energy, and consequently not sleeping well, IBS out of control again, and just about managing to hold it together at work, but not sure how long I can maintain that.

Anyway, welcome to those of you posting for the first time, or returning, whether it's day one (again) or day 100, be kind to yourselves.

Oh ma I can picture the scene! But brilliant progress with the weight loss.

Look after yourself, Sweet.

Morning, all!

Marking my place to add more tomorrow- I've been to my first Addaction group therapy today, but I'm too drained and icky to type atm.

Hi, and may I call you Fridge? Great username! The group therapy sounds hard, but hopefully worthwhile.

Just checking in!

Hope all the passengers are ok. craft hope you’ve had a good day.

afridge welcome sounds like you have taken a huge brave step. Have a peaceful sleep and hopefully hear more from you tomorrow.

I’m reading Amanda Prowse Another Love it’s very good but very sad the effect a mothers alcoholism has on her family- strengthening my resolve.

How are you doing today fridge?

the weight loss is due to cutting out wine - did most of Dry January and now drink G and T with lots of tonic. Also due to the hard, horrible world of exercise. I have a fitness app which has 10 minute workouts and am doing C25K. hate them both but they are definitely having an impact on my shape and size.

well done ma it will be worth it

Well done ma!! I’m hoping to loose some weight too?! Craft hope your doing ok?? Well tomorrow is the big test for me I’m determined to do it & go the weekend af..if I manage it, it will be the first dry one since I can honestly remember!!!!!! 🤞🏼

I’m good, oops and all the best for your AF weekend. Have you got things planned or just taking it as it comes? It can be helpful to be busy and definitely helps to have treats around - mine are nice bath bombs and, er, ice cream . Important to be kind to yourself.

I’m off for a walk later on today. It’s a lovely morning here. How are all the other lovely babes doing?

Hi crafty

Ok here still slowly recovering from flu. As usual can hear a drink shouting it’s Friday which is stupid as it’s only another day. For me I have to think how awful I will feel waking up Saturday with a hangover. oops guarantee a hangover free weekend is amazing!

Hi all about to crack open a soft drink as a treat...

Had some fizz yesterday for val day and slept really badly, have eczema and so tired today. Genuinely feel like I’ve been poisoned the last couple of times I’ve drunk as I was pregnant up til 4 months ago. Maybe this is my chance to give up for good? Not enjoying the awful hangover after 2 or 3 glasses

Also OH told me he’s shitting himself for when I get drunk and abusive again. Basically I had a habit of drinking and then shouting as I hAd so much pent up aggression and anger. I’m shitting mySelf too - I just don’t want to go back there again - I was reckless and irresponsible and a danger to myself and possibly my kids (nothing happened thank god but getting drunk around small children just feels so stupid now)

How to break this habit? I threw some of OH’S leftover wine down the sink rather than minesweeping it yesterday. And I’m trying to find healthy ways to get out anger. That’s a start anyway

Hope you have good weekends all

well, I have an interview for my boss's job. there will be 4 of us and I'm up first. I'd rather be last.

Well done on getting the interview ma.
Practice “ bigging yourself up”. Think about the job description and the questions the panel might ask.
When’s the interview ?

Good luck, ma!

Hi & thank you for all your positive vibes!! I’m off to bed now after a very long & boring Friday night...the first of many hopefully.. I Very found it hard if I’m being honest my hubby is on nights my 18year old daughter is out with friends & my 13 year old son needs surgically removed from his ps4 so I have sat on my own all night... I’m usually pissed by now to numb my loneliness...but I HAVE DONE IT 🎉🎉🎉🎉

Well done oops! I’m hoping this morning the clear head will be a nice reward. I guess that lonely feeling will never go away and was only masked by the booze temporarily. Maybe in your new sober state you can work out what to do - maybe starting a hobby or joining a new group ie a choir or art class? I find it very hard to feel tough feelings - I’m trying to work on it too.

Xxx

Hi oops and well done. It's funny isn't it that when were in the midst of the years of bringing up little children and our lives are a non-stop stream of lunch boxes, tidying, disturbed evenings etc we long for the time when we could sit alone on a sofa and read a book or paint our nails or just twiddle out thumbs... And then when the time comes we can find ourselves a bit empty and lonely.

No answers, just musing...

Although last night I went to a meditation class. I wouldn't normally go on a Friday evening - seems like a time for being at home or out on the razzle - but a couple of friends who I'd not seen for a while were going. It was great to connect with them and I returned home with a still head. dp had left a bottle of wine open in the kitchen, and I felt not even a flicker of interest.

ma you don't have an interview for YOUR BOSS's job, you have an interview for the job that could be YOURS! and having been on interview panels I think that being in first is good. You set the bar high, and then maybe no-one can beat it, also the interviewers are not tired and irritable - you can't imagine how cross several of us felt when a candidate who looked like the perfect person on paper, started their shpeel with 'I had a dream...' and then came out with some clap-trap gobshite made up nonsense

The panel must have confidence that you could do the job, or they wouldn't waste their time interviewing you. You just have to convince them that your knowledge of the current situation, and its pressures, plus your unique skills, the breadth of your experience, your approach and your attitude make you the ONLY choice. Find that inner purple heron again.

‘I find it very hard to feel tough feelings’. Yes, Cara oh yes! You and me both. To you and oops a virtual high-five. Bloody well done. Being alone with what is tough is, well, tough! Take very good care of yourselves, both.

Wise words, Venus

Have a great weekend, all. We are off to meet an old friend for lunch today, looking forward to it. And the weather looks fine too

thanks venus inspirational as always.
oops well done

I just completed a 20 minute jog as part of C25K. bloody hell, who would have thought it? (no laughing please from the proper runners)
New me, new job....where will it all end lol

Well done on your run Ma. My bloody knee gave way during mine yesterday. I’m limping around today. Think the ailment is more menopausal weirdness tbh - blaming everything on that just now

How’s all the babes this Monday?

Just another normal day for me. Soldier ogling in the morning, a 3 hour drive into the Highlands to visit a whisky distillery,and an overnight stay before a presentation at tomorrow’s business event.

Morning babes. Not been around lately as work stress through the roof, and been working freelance on the side (no financial backup from ex WB makes me not turn anything down). This month have had unexpected tax bill for 2k, found out ex WB has been seeing someone for months and everyone knew but me and the kids (after 25 year marriage he didn't think it was bad I heard via a 3rd party, even though he's been in touch to use my car breakdown cover and borrow all my DIY stuff), usual background bitching from ex-SIL all the time despite me not reacting (outwardly ... inside I'm paranoid as she is actually slandering me to people I know), have DD stressed about everything from GCSEs to prom dresses plus usual teenage moods, work constantly pressuring me to be on the other side of the country for overnight stays (hello? Single mum?), juggling 5 difficult clients and waking up at 5am worrying about them, friends being demanding over 50th birthday weekends I can't possibly go to, an IKEA bedroom for DD to finish building if I ever get 5 minutes and now I have a mouse in the kitchen 🙄. I am so tired all the time, making mistakes at work and actually feeling panic when I open my emails each day, still trying to get to the gym regularly but in reality barely finding 5 mins to go to Aldi, putting on weight again after 18 months of sustained losses and yes, drinking sneakily (though not wine and never loads as need to constantly be functioning). On the surface I am fine, same as ever, and determinedly cheerful with DD despite usual teenage strops, but underneath I am existing in a state of constant low level panic and have no idea what to do. I am scared of losing my job financially but hate the extreme stress of it and want to leave, I have no time for anything and am constantly tired but scared I will become isolated if I don't see my friends, I don't want to leave my daughter to her own devices while I am at work/gym/seeing friends etc but panic that by the time she leaves home I will be completely isolated (and perhaps by then WB will be moving in with his unlucky new partner and ready to fleece me in an unpleasant divorce which I can't face, hating lawyers and paperwork and being ripped off). I have zero family, my lovely DS is an adult now with his own life, and it all seems like I am hurtling headlong towards old age and loneliness and that life is just a gradual falling away of everything (looks, friends, family, income, relationships). The joke is that ex WB is 10 years older than me, bald, grumpy, antisocial, insolvent, socially awkward, scruffy - even my son said he would have laid odds on him never having another relationship - but now here we are, and I'm the one who can only see myself getting more alone. Sorry for the pity party. I'm sure from the outside my life looks fine. Well, I make sure it does. And then I go to bed and can't sleep for panic (hence a few G&Ts). Am hoping this will pass but too busy to figure a way out. Is this just life now? All my divorcing friends - a lot of whom got rid of perfectly nice partners because they were bored or having affairs, whereas my abusive ex walked out after turning on our son - have new partners, largely supportive exes who share childcare and pay maintenance and whose sisters don't spread malicious lies about them. So it isn't life for everyone, just me. I failed Dry January, haven't even tried Dry February, so haven't wanted to come on the bus and derail you all, but I know the reasons I am drinking are not good and not helping. But I'm not sure what will. I just want to walk away from everything but wouldn't know where to go, and of course DD needs me. But I will be 54 when she leaves home and alone, and probably looking 74 after 3 more years of this. It's like I've suddenly woken up and realised I've had my life, and I messed up all the good years, married to and supporting a man who hated me and has now got off scot free - new partner, no responsibility, can probably come after me for settlement when he runs out of cash - And am just left with the dregs of it. If I didn't have the odd can of G&T my brain would never shut up... but at the same time I cannot afford to get drunk because I would just go to pieces (and don't have a hangover window in my diary!) I have no idea what the answer is so am going to curl up on the back seat of the bus and maybe someone can slap me around the face with Barrie when I wake up?

Hi all. I managed to go AF for 6 days last week and felt and looked AMAZING for it. It made me feel alive again. However, fell off the wagon spectacularly again as my on again off again friendzone ex has emerged again and I'm back to square one. Starting again. Day one of sobriety. I'm 45.