The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Step Into Our Christmas Thread!

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm Mouse

A HUGE welcome to the Bus!

This is the one and only Gerald. Over the years, we've travelled far and wide gathering some truly remarkable Babes along the way, all of whom have been (and remain to be) at different stages of their own personal journey to sobriety or controlled drinking, depending on what it is that they want to achieve.

We have those who drink daily, those who drink occasionally, and also those who have been sober for some time. The one thing that you won't find here, is any judgey knickers! We're ALL here because at one point or another, we've hit our own "rock bottom" and then smashed the shit out of the FUCK IT button! (makes a note to order a new FUCK IT button)

This is without doubt one of the hardest times of the year for many of us, what with Christmas parties, alcohol on tap, supermarkets who have offers galore of various tipples stacked from floor to ceiling, and EVERY advert on TV shows you what an amazingly cool person you can be if you were drinking whatever brand of alcohol they're flogging! Even Christmas puddings and Brandy creams are tempting fate because as soon as you digest even a small amount of alcohol, it makes your body crave more, just like smoking, medication and recreational drugs................

Then there's the gifts that you're given! Champagne Truffles, Liquors, wines, spirits, you name it! So unless you've told people about your planned journey, people assume that buying gifts like that completely acceptable. So, some may feel obliged to consume such gifts and why not? It's Christmas after all. Then we have the New Year festivities..... parties, friends and family over to have drinks because you'll stop drinking after New Years' Day won't you?

It's so damn hard not to drink if that's what you've been doing all year anyway before you even reach this time of year!! How will you cope with your Great Aunt who will check for dust by running finger over ever surface, or Uncle knobhead who will be there in his cream suit, with that suspicious stain on it and his burgundy shirt asking for a Babycham! Also, let's not forget the in-laws/out-laws! We can sometimes put so much pressure on ourselves that we convince ourselves that we DESERVE that glass or seven of wine etc.

At the end of the day, if you want to drink, then you will. I appreciate that doesn't sound supportive but it's certainly true in my case. As I have said before, the most amazing thing about this Bus and those who travel along with it, is the fact that every single one on board has a story, a reason why they're here, and we all need support in one form or another. Yes, alcohol may be the one thing that we ALL have in common but it goes way deeper than that doesn't it? Life, love and laundry for a start!

Even if you're not ready to stop or cut down on your drinking yet, that's fine! You're still welcome to hop aboard the marvellous Gerald. We're a very varied bunch of Babes but we welcome anyone in need of support, even if you're not ready to say everything that you want to yet, or you feel the need to name change, that's fine! Just know that we're here for YOU for as long as you need to be.

Mouse xxx

THIS IS THE PREVIOUS THREAD IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO CATCH UP FROM WHERE WE LEFT OFF

I know you are all right about the worrying. Venus You always have a lovely way with words. I can drive myself nuts going over and over things in my head. I've had a text conversation with the airline today and a chat to my best friend last night so I do feel calmer at the moment. My packing is done apart from the very last bits that I have to do tomorrow (make up, chargers etc).

Non alcoholic cocktails are a good idea JWIM I've done that before when out with work. And to be fair people tend not to notice when they've had a few anyway. I can't actually remember ever socialising with a non drinker at birthdays/work things etc but I'm sure I must have done and just not noticed.

efc Well done you for crying rather than drinking last night. I think there's a lot to be said for crying as form of relief. I quite like a good cry now and again.

Any news on the boiler repair Ma?

Mint That's a lovely dress.

Evening, babes! Great dress, Mint.

Just hailed that ‘Friday feeling’ with a cup of tea. A Seedlip has my name on it later, I hope. Felt veerry close to clobbering the ‘fuck it’ button earlier. Just sad....and recalling how easy it used to be to drown the sadness in a lake of Sauv’ blanc, but efc you are wise to have a cry and accept your feelings.

Alternatives to ‘Wine Witch’? ‘Sauvignon Siren’? Yes? No?

love that dress mint
today's boiler man - number 7 - also failed. have now filed a formal complaint with the company at the level of inefficiency. utterly fucked off with it all.
another guy coming on Monday. it's beyond a joke now. Hit the fuck it button and bought wine. Enjoyed the first glass, had half the second glass and chucked the rest down the sink. am in bed

Ma that is so rubbish - I’m really sorry. Well done you for being so moderate - that’s super impressive, especially in the circumstances.

I’m feeling more upbeat again after a satisfactory (and sober) outing to the Emirates stadium. Amazing what a change of manager can do for a girl’s spirits.

What are we all up to for the weekend? Hope everyone is ok.

ma amazing willpower to chuck it away. Well done. Looks like it is less chilly this weekend, only 2 jumpers needed!

Good call, ma. Keep warm!

No heating or hot water here either ma. On the bright side its not going to be cold as its going to p* it down instead. And l can't dry anything. Hopefully Monday. If i get to repair man number 7, I think I'll commit a crime. I think pouring away wine is harder than not drinking it, so big respect to you.

Glad you are feeling a bit more perky, small. And well done crafty, how was the Seedlip? I've never tried it but I hear its great. Might go to M&S and get the mock G&T. It's really good. Bored of Heineken 0. mint that sounds amazing, Bernard Butler is a genius, can imagine brilliant collaboration with MHS.

baking great job in managing your anxiety and preparing in advance. I think that being sober helps to recognise the feelings and patterns, and maybe to think through them. You reached out to find solutions here, and with your best friend and the airline. You're a winner! That's what people see in you, not whether or not there's alcohol in your drink. Thanks for sharing and keep reaching out.

Happy Saturday to all beautiful babes on the bus. To DJers - nearly there. To all the occasioners, moderaters and abstainers, keep being good to yourselves and making your choices. Because you're worth it

Morning, wee. I like Seedlip, my fave being the spiced one. It doesn’t really taste much like gin but does offer that bitter/astringent ‘something’ you want from a grown-up drink, but without the alcohol. They do it in one of the local pubs where I live, and it’s nice to feel there’s a drink I genuinely like as a ‘treat’ that is AF.

I’m off to visit my mum today. Hoping snow doesn’t complicate things. Mum lives on the welsh borders and if it starts snowing there, it tends to stick.

Keep warm, babes!

ma and wee I’m so sorry you are still without heat. What a mess.

small are you a Utd fan? Definitely a big turn around.

crafty hope the snow holds off. My friend had a seedlip cocktail served in a teapot when we were in a bar in Manchester- it was lovely.

I went to a spa afternoon yesterday with my sister which was lovely.

I was meant to be going to a 40th tonight- all big drinkers- but they’ve changed plans so I have a quiet night in.

greetings all. no major news here. Managed Week 4 run 2 of the couch to 5K and I think beginning to see a difference. Scales aren't budging but definitely not looking as flubbery.
Treated myself today to a "green" shampoo bar and conditioner bar, and toothpaste tabs - all in my efforts to reduce the amount of plastic we use. DS is getting a smart reusable razor for his birthday on Monday, along with a bowl of organic shaving soap and a brush. All we need now is hot water!!
(should add he is also getting an amp for his bass guitar and a football shirt if that sounded a bit mean!)

SmallFox Spent a lot of time at the Emirates during my London days watching my beloved Gunners.

Ma - fingers crossed fro your boiler. What conditioner bar did you get? I’m finding it hard to get a good one, though all the shampoo bars I’ve tried have been great.

Mint, good job we didn’t meet at the Emirates back in the day .. pizza might have been thrown...! Great ground, tho.

How is everyone? Hope all good.

Afternoon All, sorry to be AWOL, just got distracted. But still AF - Yah! And now trying to address my eating.
It's eight days until I can ditch the surgical stockings all together, which means I will also be able to do some light stuff at the gym, so I'm spending this afternoon with a footer to try to deal with my hooves!

Wow, how (almost) four weeks af changes your senses! DH just poured himself a sherry (yeah, bleugh!) and it stinks to high heaven. I've not noticed how strong it was before. And it will last him all night - weirdo.

small its by a local company called Foam Made. they might have a FB page or I could buy you some and mail it if you pm me? My hair is short, wiry and coloured but the lady in the shop has lovely long curly hair and she uses this one too. We did some mutual hair feeling!!!
I've been looking for one for a while so really pleased with this one

Is this them Ma?
Foam Made

that's the one. I bought it in the Happy Earth Place. hair feels super soft.

i bought the revive one

Ma that is so kind of you - thank you! Let me see if I can get it online first. I so appreciate your offer.

My intro to hot yoga has been challenging. Even my fingers hurt, so will keep this short. But I feel faintly triumphant nonetheless

Morning all.

Small I don't think triumph would come to mind if it made my fingers hurst !

New week, last bit of January. If you've done all 31 days, well done/ If you've done some, add them up, I bet that there are more than you would usually have af. If you're already 31 days +, keep sharing, you're an inspiration.

I'm keeping on going. 100 days at least. Work is so full on at the moment, I think I'd just crumble if I tried it with a hangover.

So keep going, and back on if you've had a day in the sidecar. Have a good day Babes.

Morning, brrr - a chilly one here, sitting at the bus stop awaiting another week. But after (nearly) a month AF I notice how much more mindful I am as I sit here, how much more present, accepting and less anxious I am. It’s a quiet change, easily missed, but a profound one and I treasure it. It is hard to imagine willingly relinquishing it and I guess that’s the thing - I don’t ever ‘intend’ to throw this feeling away, it just gets lost in the detritus of drinking.

So, Sweet, I’m with you and aiming to keep going. I’m not setting targets, I’m cautiously thinking ‘maybe this is forever’ (it certainly ought to be) but without putting pressure on, and I won’t beat myself up if I have a drink. What I will try to commit to is not hitting the ‘f-it’ button if I do drink, not thinking (crazily) ‘oh, I’ve broken the rules now, there’s no point continuing now I’ve done that, might as well carry on and actually why not drink four times as much as I was doing before?’ (Parallels with diets v obvious there - I always eat more after they’ve ended, usually ignominiously). So that’s my aim, stay AF, be kind to myself if I slip, but firm in getting back on track after. Like I say, that’s the aim... (I may we’ll have been here before, but I remain hopeful).

Hope all babes have a good day and those without heating stay warm (and as calm as possible in superlatively trying circumstances, Ma).

Hi. I'm a very occasional poster, long-term lurker, serial quitter. Managed 10 dry days in January then quickly fell back into my usual habit - at least a bottle of wine a day. Right now I'm in bed practically vibrating with anxiety after drinking all afternoon with friends yesterday. Our kids were there, some adults weren't drinking, others drank moderately, meanwhile I put away at least a couple of bottles. Despite lovely friends assuring me I have nothing to apologise for I feel such terrible shame and also fear about the example I am setting to my kids. I had to go bed in the early evening because I was becoming incoherent. My generous partner covered for me withe kids but I think they must at least have a vague idea what was up. I can't keep doing this to them (or to me) and I fear my DP will give up on me sooner or later. I know I have to stop and I've been kidding myself all these years that I can ever be in control of this. I'm hoping this can be the end of it but I'm so bloody scared right now.

Hi Peckish. Good to see you, though I am really sorry about how you are feeling - are you a bit less anxious now? I think there is a combined post-blowout anxiety, the physical side and the psychological - they're separate but obviously intertwined, and they can be a pretty potent blow. Really hope that at least the physical response is dwindling now.

I am not in any way trying to downplay the seriousness of how you are feeling - but I wonder if it helps to know that I for one have (very recently) felt very, very similar things and I am quite sure that so have many other babes. That doesn't mean we don't each have our own unique terrors and circumstances but to some extent we are at least all in the same boa...err, bus.

I don't have any words of wisdom other than to say listen to yourself and your body and mind. For whatever reason being AF didn't 'stick' this Jan. Are there any triggers or anything specific you can point to for that? Maybe you weren't quite ready or were working through other things at the time... that's not making excuses, it is just sometimes how things are. On my more successful stints of abstinence (and yes, it is absolutely fair to say that none of them have succeeded permanently!), something has just come together and 'stuck'. I've been in the right place at the right time.

That doesn't mean we don't need to work to get to that place - its not as easy as sticking a thumb out and waiting for a lift - but don't beat yourself up for not getting there this time. Try to pick yourself up and make clambering back on board as pleasant for yourself as possible - I'm doing a lot of 'self-compassion' (vile phrase) this time round, lots of mindfulness, yoga, Pilates and endless nutrition/lifestyle podcasts. If nothing else, it passes the time in a way that can't hurt (though my knees might disagree with that).

Sorry, rather a long welcome - but its good to see you and try to be kind to yourself along the way.

Thank you for the welcome SmallFox. I really appreciate it and it's good to know I'm not the only one to have felt this way. I'm up and about and feeling marginally less awful having done a bit of work. Still incredibly jittery though and dreading the children coming home as I feel I owe them some sort of explanation - but maybe that would only make things worse...

I'm not really sure what my triggers are. Work anxiety doesn't help but to be honest I'll always find an excuse, good news, bad news or just plain boredom. What you say about 'self-compassion' makes sense. I'm not very good at claiming time and space for myself. Whatever there is tends to be filled with work or booze.

Lots to think about... thanks again.