The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Step Into Our Christmas Thread!

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm Mouse

A HUGE welcome to the Bus!

This is the one and only Gerald. Over the years, we've travelled far and wide gathering some truly remarkable Babes along the way, all of whom have been (and remain to be) at different stages of their own personal journey to sobriety or controlled drinking, depending on what it is that they want to achieve.

We have those who drink daily, those who drink occasionally, and also those who have been sober for some time. The one thing that you won't find here, is any judgey knickers! We're ALL here because at one point or another, we've hit our own "rock bottom" and then smashed the shit out of the FUCK IT button! (makes a note to order a new FUCK IT button)

This is without doubt one of the hardest times of the year for many of us, what with Christmas parties, alcohol on tap, supermarkets who have offers galore of various tipples stacked from floor to ceiling, and EVERY advert on TV shows you what an amazingly cool person you can be if you were drinking whatever brand of alcohol they're flogging! Even Christmas puddings and Brandy creams are tempting fate because as soon as you digest even a small amount of alcohol, it makes your body crave more, just like smoking, medication and recreational drugs................

Then there's the gifts that you're given! Champagne Truffles, Liquors, wines, spirits, you name it! So unless you've told people about your planned journey, people assume that buying gifts like that completely acceptable. So, some may feel obliged to consume such gifts and why not? It's Christmas after all. Then we have the New Year festivities..... parties, friends and family over to have drinks because you'll stop drinking after New Years' Day won't you?

It's so damn hard not to drink if that's what you've been doing all year anyway before you even reach this time of year!! How will you cope with your Great Aunt who will check for dust by running finger over ever surface, or Uncle knobhead who will be there in his cream suit, with that suspicious stain on it and his burgundy shirt asking for a Babycham! Also, let's not forget the in-laws/out-laws! We can sometimes put so much pressure on ourselves that we convince ourselves that we DESERVE that glass or seven of wine etc.

At the end of the day, if you want to drink, then you will. I appreciate that doesn't sound supportive but it's certainly true in my case. As I have said before, the most amazing thing about this Bus and those who travel along with it, is the fact that every single one on board has a story, a reason why they're here, and we all need support in one form or another. Yes, alcohol may be the one thing that we ALL have in common but it goes way deeper than that doesn't it? Life, love and laundry for a start!

Even if you're not ready to stop or cut down on your drinking yet, that's fine! You're still welcome to hop aboard the marvellous Gerald. We're a very varied bunch of Babes but we welcome anyone in need of support, even if you're not ready to say everything that you want to yet, or you feel the need to name change, that's fine! Just know that we're here for YOU for as long as you need to be.

Mouse xxx

THIS IS THE PREVIOUS THREAD IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO CATCH UP FROM WHERE WE LEFT OFF

smallfox brilliant post

peckish it is tough.
I am probably known on this thread for being kind and sweet and nice, but there is something about your post where I think you need a kick. Whatever you are doing now does not work for you. So STOP.

STOP

Stop drinking. Time for yourself should be clean glass of water, a sunset, a looooo….ooonnnng stretch of your muscles. OR the focus on a tiny thing: Examine your dinner, your hand your room...

Ha, Venus - kind and sweet and nice, indeed! That's what you think

(Actually, we think you are a wise and wonderful, perceptive and eloquent babe, but we don't want you to get swollen-headed).

Peckish, what Venus says makes lots of sense, so maybe its a question of mixing 'stop' with 'self-care' and seeing what happens. Either way, we're here for you.

Evening all, how are you wonderful souls ce soir? ma dare I ask about the boiler? I'm back on and i really hope you are too. How long has it been? Lots of warming hugs x

peckish i could have written your post from this morning, in fact i pretty much did on 4th Jan. How did you get on with the kids? I faced same dilemma, mine are 12 and 13. My DH told me that they were really upset seeing me so sloshed and that it had happened a couple of times over Xmas. I apologised to them for being embarrassing and that I should set myself higher standards. I said i had fallen into very bad habits and said that I would stop doing that by doing DJ to get back on the straight and narrow. I presented it to them as a mistake and bad choices rather than a problem (even though it is) as i don't want to scare them. I think by saying it out loud and making them a promise has given me so much resolve to stick to this. At this age, they need to see a good example as any minute now, alcohol will be in their worlds. I've deliberately not moaned about how hard it is. I cried my eyes out when DH spoke to me, spoke quite dispassionately to them when i apologised, and then hid and cried A LOT more. Just thought I'd share in case there's anything there to help you with clearing things up with your kids.

Alongside this was the continued shame, and crippling embarrassment that took days to shake, and ruined my weekends as much if not more than the hangover.

I think small and venus have got this covered. Be kind to yourself - you did 10 days, which is amazing.... so you can do more. So do it..... I promise you that you will feel really strong and relieved to just STOP. Just one day at a time.

Morning all
Great posts small venus and wee
Just wanted to reiterate to peckish that yes we have all been there. You cannot change what has happened in the past but you can change going forward so don’t beat yourself up but make plans for how things are going to change and why you want to change. Doing it for your children is great but also you have to do it for you as ultimately you have to live with yourself. You can do this!
Hi to sweet efc baking and crafty and ma I hope you have your heating sorted - sounds awful !
I am off to work shortly - it’s a busy time of year but I’m trying to make sure I don’t miss my yoga every day as it makes me feel so good!
Have a good day babes

Hi all! Just been at my mum’s over the weekend, in the land of ‘mobile network coverage? What’s that?’ Hence only just catching up with all your posts.

Over the ‘festive’ season I happened to read Gabor Mate’s book, ‘In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters With Addiction’. I recommend. He’s a physician specialising in addiction, which he sees as a continuum, not an ‘either, or’. He also has a lot to say about the brain processes at work when we use any kind of addictive substance or engage in addictive behaviour. I suppose I’m mentioning because of those feelings of guilt and shame that I can’t moderate (subtext: like ‘everyone’ else can) and the things I’ve said and done while being decidedly immoderate. Beating ourselves up for our difficulties with alcohol (or whatever else) is counter-productive. We’re doing the hard work involved in moderating or abstaining, or just managing our feelings.

I’d really like to get back into yoga. I was going to a great Iyengar class but kept starting and then dropping out for various reasons. Yoga is so good for the whole mind/body balance and I feel so much more energetic when I make the effort.

Keep warm, all!

Ooh, thanks for the recommendation, Corvid - I'll look out for that. Hello Trust!

Quiet on the bus tonight. Someone please come and distract me from the utter shambolic shame of watching what's going on in Parliament. It is beyond reprehensible that our future is being sacrificed for hubris, pride, myopia and party politics. Apologies - I know it is possible that babes will have different views on Brexit and I respect that (or will try to): this isn't even about Brexit, but the shame of how our politicians are approaching it. I am closer to a drink than I have been all month. I think I may just go to bed and cry.

I hear ya, Small - it just gets madder.

Hi everyone,

Can’t believe how the MPs behave! I watched the top 100 dogs instead!

Ok here- no snow yet so been out 7 mile run. Going to one of those crazy bingo parties at the weekend- I’m driving though and have people lined up to give lifts to so no drinking.

smallfox I made my dp stop watching, he was getting so mad.

Two sensible suggestions - rule out a 'no deal', and delay things until we know what the fuck we're doing. Both amendments rejected solely because they came from opposition parties plus the conservative party could not think of anything so sensible or obvious
What a disaster!

But don't let it drive you to drink. Then the idiots would really have won.

(and I mean them, not any of us)

Thanks weeweewoman and Trust also for the welcome. In the end I didn't talk explicitly to the kids about Sunday. maybe I'm kidding myself but they seemed to have accepted DHs explanation of a sudden 'illness' and since they are still only primary age I didn't want to scare them by talking more frankly about the issue. I do plan on setting them a better example from now on and certainly once they are approaching their teens being far more open about the problems drinking can cause.

Unbelievably I was already imagining and almost talking myself into a glass of wine by the time I got home from work today. Thankfully managed to swerve it with the help of some AF beer. So that's 2 AF days done and I'm trying not to think about the weekend which I already know will present several drinking opportunities...

I can't bear to watch what is going on in Parliament. The whole thing is just a farce. Hope you managed to go bed without having a drink Small

Morning all. peckish hope you are looking forward to another winning day. Remember us on the bus when you get challenged - we're rooting for you

Worried about ma, and hoping that you are toasty and snug?! Hopefully not banged up for boiler-related violence. Let us know if you need us to crowdfund bail!

Its flipping freezing and i have chosen some dainty little kitten heels. Maybe subconsciously channeling Teresa May! We're both pretty good at living in denial.....

hi all - incredibly...still no heating or hot water. Tomorrow we have one of the many engineers (I think he was number 1 and alos number 3) coming back with the head engineer and also the complaints manager!!
We have had over £500 of parts fitted. it fires up, works perfectly for anything form 10 mins to a couple of hours then dies again. it is minus 3 outside. I'm in bed with a hot water bottle and a g&t!
Was in a hotel last night with work. Hot shower, warm room....such luxury. I will never again take for granted turning on a tap and hot water coming out! I have a soldier ogling function on Saturday and NEED to colour my hair!!!

ma so sad you are still without heat- could it be the rest of the system not the boiler? Really hope they get you sorted- soldier ogling deserves respect!

Hi peckish hope today has been ok. I have children similar age and I totally get the need to not be drunk in front of them. I grew up with heavy drinkers on my dads side and it was often frightening looking back now. My dad has now been sober 3 years and he’s so much nicer to be around and my kids are so proud of their sober grandad.

Hi to everyone else on the bus. Last day of January tomorrow but I’m keeping my seat on the bus!

Oh Ma! Sending you a large blanket and possibly a nice hot soldier? Could thoughts of ogling offset the chill? A friend of mine went through all this with her heating and hot water and it was bad enough in September. Hope you not only get it sorted but get some compensation as well.

Peckish good to have you on board the bus. First days are tough. We are here with wit, wisdom and Opal Fruits.

Hi, efc and all the babes!

Morning All.

Corvid I think a hot snuggling solider for Ma is a perfect idea! .

Sending you warm thoughts, Ma.

efc have you talked to your dad about your own drinking? My dad, is definitely the wrong side normal drinking, and has done DJ for the first time ever (I suspect it was my Mum telling him he had to), but I think is still in denial about the level of him drinking.

Hope you had a better day, Peckish.

Still af, and after an awful night on Tues/weds with almost no sleep, I managed to stay awake at the theatre (Art) and got a much better night last night. Just one teaching session and some tutorials to get through today, then I hope we can get away early to avoid the snow.

LAST DAY of JAN! Just the hump of Feb to get through then we can start really looking forward to Spring.

Be kind to yourselves today, congratulate yourselves on your sober days, and forgive the others, but don't forget the reasons for both.

Oh, and Small I just hang my head in disbelief over parliament. I have given up both R4 and LBC on the way to work, Lauren Lavine on 6 all the way now.

No snow here yet, but work have given us a snow afternoon (well, two hours). So I have a nice excuse to make hot chocolate and put my PJs on early.

Ma, I hope you're managing to stay warm.

Sweet a snow afternoon? I am envious! Ma I am worrying about you - are you ok in this ridiculous weather?

I am doing ok, a bit bored again, but ok. Have to go to a work do tonight which I'm feeling fine about and right now it seems inconceivable that I'll drink. But I know myself well enough to be aware that in an hour's time it may seem entirely conceivable that a combination of boredom, mild social anxiety and sheer 'it's the end of January-ness' may mean that I am found with a drink in my hand. I really hope not.

I think they panicked, Small, last year when we had snow they waited too long to issue advice and close the place, so I think the powers tat be jumped the gun. I'm not complaining! You need to practice asking for a specific af drink, you can do it.

thanks all. it was minus 6 in the car this morning and my squirters are frozen..fnar, fnar. two engineers were here for 3 hours today and admit to being baffled. Every possible part has been replaced and there is no pattern whatsoever to when it switches on and off. One guy said he has been fixing boilers for 20 years and has never seen anything like this. Fascinating, but not much help. I had to colour my hair and rinse it in ice cold water. jesus, the pain in my head was really really bad so had to keep stopping. It seems no-one has any idea what to do next so we carry on. Sorry to keep bleating on about boilers and not name check everyone

ma hope your squirters are behaving now- even if your boiler isn’t. Hope you are ok in this weather.

sweet I think my dad would laugh if I said I think I have a problem- he was a 2 bottle of wine plus whisky chasers drinker. For me I’m more sick of how I feel after drinking- headaches/anxiety.

small stay strong on your night out, you’ll be glad of it in the morning.

Early night before long overdue hair appointment tomorrow.

“My squirters are frozen” . Ma. I think you have a haunted boiler as you have now excluded every other possibility. Donning my deerstalker now as this seems to be a conundrum to baffle Holmes: did anything else happen concurrently with the boiler first breaking down? How old is it? I’d be wondering if it was cutting out as a safety feature that’s being triggered by something unexpected. Water pressure? Gas pressure changes?

Well now peeps. Gerald is nearly pulling in to the bus stop and I have really enjoyed the ride.... So Far..... I've tried different things - tonight at posh work do i had a yuzu juice mocktail?! Delish.... I've enjoyed early mornings, hard hard work, calm mind, new kinds of fun, assaulted an elephant statue, kept a promise honestly, been hugely concerned for someone's broken boiler and her frozen squirters. So many new experiences for me, and all in the company of you beauties. I'm staying on a bit longer and dearly hope you stay along too. The odd sidecar stint is fine but stay on your journey forwards. I'm so much the better for having got this far. for all. Thank you x

Hey babes, checking in on this last day of January and happy to report I am still af. Wish I could say I was enjoying the extra zing but after a root canal today I cannot wave goodbye to January fast enough.

At least I have heating Ma, washing your hair in cold water is truly hardcore. I would be wearing a hat until warm water was restored, however long it took.

So here’s to a positive February, whatever goals and intentions everyone has.