The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Step Into Our Christmas Thread!

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm Mouse

A HUGE welcome to the Bus!

This is the one and only Gerald. Over the years, we've travelled far and wide gathering some truly remarkable Babes along the way, all of whom have been (and remain to be) at different stages of their own personal journey to sobriety or controlled drinking, depending on what it is that they want to achieve.

We have those who drink daily, those who drink occasionally, and also those who have been sober for some time. The one thing that you won't find here, is any judgey knickers! We're ALL here because at one point or another, we've hit our own "rock bottom" and then smashed the shit out of the FUCK IT button! (makes a note to order a new FUCK IT button)

This is without doubt one of the hardest times of the year for many of us, what with Christmas parties, alcohol on tap, supermarkets who have offers galore of various tipples stacked from floor to ceiling, and EVERY advert on TV shows you what an amazingly cool person you can be if you were drinking whatever brand of alcohol they're flogging! Even Christmas puddings and Brandy creams are tempting fate because as soon as you digest even a small amount of alcohol, it makes your body crave more, just like smoking, medication and recreational drugs................

Then there's the gifts that you're given! Champagne Truffles, Liquors, wines, spirits, you name it! So unless you've told people about your planned journey, people assume that buying gifts like that completely acceptable. So, some may feel obliged to consume such gifts and why not? It's Christmas after all. Then we have the New Year festivities..... parties, friends and family over to have drinks because you'll stop drinking after New Years' Day won't you?

It's so damn hard not to drink if that's what you've been doing all year anyway before you even reach this time of year!! How will you cope with your Great Aunt who will check for dust by running finger over ever surface, or Uncle knobhead who will be there in his cream suit, with that suspicious stain on it and his burgundy shirt asking for a Babycham! Also, let's not forget the in-laws/out-laws! We can sometimes put so much pressure on ourselves that we convince ourselves that we DESERVE that glass or seven of wine etc.

At the end of the day, if you want to drink, then you will. I appreciate that doesn't sound supportive but it's certainly true in my case. As I have said before, the most amazing thing about this Bus and those who travel along with it, is the fact that every single one on board has a story, a reason why they're here, and we all need support in one form or another. Yes, alcohol may be the one thing that we ALL have in common but it goes way deeper than that doesn't it? Life, love and laundry for a start!

Even if you're not ready to stop or cut down on your drinking yet, that's fine! You're still welcome to hop aboard the marvellous Gerald. We're a very varied bunch of Babes but we welcome anyone in need of support, even if you're not ready to say everything that you want to yet, or you feel the need to name change, that's fine! Just know that we're here for YOU for as long as you need to be.

Mouse xxx

THIS IS THE PREVIOUS THREAD IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO CATCH UP FROM WHERE WE LEFT OFF

Hi Babes, back on the bus. Think my kindle is on it's last legs though - been struggling since Saturday to charge it grrr
Thank you for all your kind & wise words, especially Venus . I think I just wanted to escape/lose myself on Friday. Bloody cross though that I won't be able to say I've done DJ this year. I was so proud of myself last year. Hopefully I'll make 30 out of 31.
Thank you all again

mint I wasn't joking about going for a walk.... and it might motivate you with C25K (not that running is something I would ever want to do!)

I saw This dress and thought it would look great for an awards ceremony - dark across the tummy, draws attention elsewhere (especially with a stunning piece of costume jewellery) and could be worn with a wrap around your shoulders / draped across your upper arms...

What's your plan to loose a few pounds? I'm doing the low carb bootcamp, and finding it surprisingly easy. Needs willpower not to eat toast etc, but there are some great high fat alternatives, and I don't feel hungry or deprived. It's the only diet that works consistently to keep my blood pressure low.

venusandmars I would love a walking group!
I'm doing the 16-8 at the moment with lots of salad based meals. Once my elbow heals I'll be back on the exercise bike and I'm going to do the 30 day squat challenge.
That dress is lovely btw.

Hello all!

Tis' me, Mouse xxx

I've been a bad babe and not caught up, sorry! BUT... Venus!!! That dress is stunning!! Wow!! Great find!

Well, winter has finally arrived here in our little village , so of course the first thing that I do is slip and land on my skinny backside in a load of slush, which was nice! . Luckily I didn't cut or scrape anything, it was a "slow motion" landing . That will teach me to go out in boots with zero grip!!

Anyway, I hope you're all keeping warm and well? Hello to any new Babes , I hope that you're finding the support and discussions on here helpful. You'll never be on your own, no matter where you are in your journey!

Time for some much needed huggles from my gorgeous Nemo and another hot cuppa me thinks! Brrrrr!!!

Take care everyone,

Love, Mouse xxx

Morning All.

Ouch, *Mouse. Glad you didn't hurt yourself, but more importantly, did any one see it happen!

Anne, you climbed straight back on board . I will have done 30/31 by the end on the month too, but because I needed a soft start so my first dry day was 02/01. That's still an important achievement.

Venus, if only I had the shape to wear that dress!

efc I have the same but with speaking to students in seminars. I can feel safe knowing that the worse they will know is that I had hummus for lunch.

Anyway, the days are clocking up and it is less of a struggle at the moment. I'm not saying I don't have moments, but I am focussing on staying sober rather than not drinking. It's subtle, but a shift in emphasis. Being not avoiding.

And I had my first night without the surgical stockings. Yah! Now got to go and put them back on. Boo!

Have a good day Babes. Shout in the face of that Gin Genie if s/he comes calling.

Morning everyone

Thick ice here, be careful everyone and hope you did not hurt yourself mouse

sweet the stockings are a job and a half to get on but it can’t be long before you can throw them.

Drove to a night out last night- enjoyed it and didn’t feel I was missing out by not drinking. It does really help to see positives of not drinking- no headache this morning or worry that I said something stupid.

ma is your heating fixed?

Anne 1 day out of the whole of Jan is nothing- you didn’t use it as an excuse to just keep drinking.

Hope everyone has a good day!

Morning babes, Anne 30/31 is flipping brilliant. Do an extra day just to prove you can, and that counts as DJ in anyone's book. Im on Kindle 3, conspiracy theorist in me says they are designed like that to keep sales up. Day 20 here with soft start like you sweet am going t go through to 3 Feb, which adds another pesky weekend, but that's the puritanical me - which hugely contradicts the drinker in me .... the euphoria is fading. Need to read 👆 up there to remind myself how much better life is. Work still really tough with impossible deadlines. And aggressive people all around. Makes me want to hide. But determination and graft are the answer, ideally with a smile for all. Its hard, but would be harder with a hangover.

Fab dress, i liked the blue colour way, but depends on . Maybe a good pair of Spanx sweet? Finish off all of tge goid work your doing? Always make me feel better and carry my self a bit more proudly.

mouse take care of yourself.

Happy Hump Day xx

Hi all!

Sweet ‘being not avoiding’ - I love that!

Anne. 30/31 is brilliant. That counts as DJ in my book. Well, you don’t count New Year’s Day cos’ that’s a bank holiday. Therefore a legitimate DJ is 30 days.

Mouse. Ow! Hope you are on the mend.

Frosty start here. I love a bright crisp morning. Long day at work looming, but hopefully a productive one.

I caught DH's cold virus - I hope it's not the one Beaches has had for months.

An extra weekend will be nothing Weewee, there's only one week left in January, almost made it.

Any Babes who were only planning to do DJ, do you have plans for moderating, or just keeping on going?

'Being not avoiding'- yep, I second that, its great. I am trying to say a mantra to myself every morning involving sobriety but I wonder if it is counter productive, so I may just focus on being. Doing a lot of mindfulness app stuff generally and it is definitely helping my work anxiety.

I'm a bit bored, frankly, but that's a life thing not an alcohol related thing:and I am more than aware that alcohol won't enliven anything, at least not in a genuine way.

Hope everyone's ok.

Small the beginning of the week was 'blue Monday', allegedly the most depressing day of the year. The glow of Xmas has well and truly gone, and the Spring feel a long way a way - esp with Easter so late this year.

Evening everyone

anne did you get your kindle working? I ruined one once placing it too near a toastie maker!

wee and fox sorry your work is so stressful- is it something that will calm down?

sweet get better soon, hope the cold turns out to be just a sniffle! I’ve been moderating quite well for a few years now. But end of last year I was starting to drink more at home, especially at a weekend. My plan is to not drink in the house. I don’t drink anywhere near as much when I’m out. I think I feel safer getting drunk at home because I don’t need to get home etc.

Really bad day in work- I’ve taken on extra hours and responsibilities for the last few months to cover illness- my reward- I’ve been told I’m getting a pay cut- everyone is. Cried all the way home. I’m so fed up.

still no heating. boilder an number 6 been and gone. number 7 will come on Friday with another different part. it was minus 6 when i got in the car this mornning and the house isnt much better. have had 2 g & Ts sitting in bed with a hot water bottle!

efc so sorry about work. That’s crap!

efc that is a terrible blow, it's horribly unfair. Is there an option to move? The atmosphere must be awful with everyone getting hit. I hope you have some scope to cut back on expenses enough. Booze bill lowered a bit anyway, but not much consolation right now. Sending big hugs.

ma warming hugs to you - my boiler packed up in sympathy yesterday, eta for engineer Monday. Just washed my hair in sink aided by a kettle. Felt like being back at my Granny's as a kid. Hope it won't take 7 visits to fix. Not quite hitting those temperatures here so hope yours is fixed first.

sweet hope you shake off that bug. That's a really hard question re moderating vs just staying off the b*ard stuff. What are you thinking? Ive done DJ 3 times before and also had stint off due to illness. And still haven't learned to successfully moderate. Interesting suggestion not to drink at home - would significantly drop my intake and continue to show good example to my kids that alcohol is an exception not a daily habit. The downsides however are many - i would go out much more regularly - i would stay out longer - would almost certainly make a holy show of myself in front of friends/work colleagues/and worse still, people i know in my crowd who have judged me in past . Last time I successfully finished DJ i hurled myself spectacularly off the wagon at a school ball. Not a good look But find the thought of never-again difficult to comprehend. But don't want constant anxiety, shame and mind battle. I feel like im on a see saw. Don't want to face this down.

And yes, small boredom..... Definitely applies to me, maybe why the beginning bit of DJ was so great for me, because it shook me out of normal pattern and generally has been a bit of an adventure. I am a bit bored with my life. Although work is tough, it is exciting [for saddo me] so maybe i can set some goals to kick the boredom. Bored of being moderately good at my job when I used to be a bit of a star. Bored of being a lush too..... Pretty sure you're all bored if this rambling too. Night night

Hey babes,

Sweet I really hope your cold virus doesn’t linger. I am now taking antibiotics and feeling better for it, I guess the bacteria took over from the virus. My plan after January is to continue, last year I managed 6 months out of 12 and I would like to at least do that again. The more days I can bank early in the year the better.

Ma 7 attempts at repair that is outrageous. I hope you have a warm duvet and good hot water bottle.

efc sympathy to you about the job news, after you have been putting in such a lot of effort to be made to feel so under appreciated is rotten

Anne your struggle with aging parents resonates with me too. I am in a different country and feel real guilt as I realize they are becoming more vulnerable and needy.

Waves to small, mint, weewee, mouse, hope, crafty, venus and all other babes reading.

Morning All.

Beaches, I think it's going to be a stinker (although DH does genuinely get these things worse because of low-level copd), but I can work from home tomorrow.

I did 160 days last year (not in one go though). I've never gone longer than 72 days in one stretch, so I am aiming for 100 days this year. I don't want to say forever, but I don't have any control when I start, so I hope 100 days will help reset. 100 days will also be £500 in my savings account. By coincidence about the same amount DS wants for a field trip to Athens for college (when I dis A-levels we only made it as far as the county archive in Worcester!).

Come on Ma, out of the side car, hot choc or tea will keep you warmer than g&t. I know it wouldn't be what you want to hear, but have none of the engineers condemned the boiler?

Weewee I haven't been a star at work for years, but I was once, I think I'd settle for mediocre now rather than hanging on by my finger tips! The sector has changed so much, and the number of things that get added into our workload every year is getting unsustainable. Certainly not compatible with drinking. But efc that is an awful situation. With your experience of 'acting up' are you in a better position to look elsewhere? I know that takes an awful lot of emotional energy, but it may be your only medium term option.

Right, me, my tissues, ibuprofen, and determination are off to work. Hopeful young undergrads to deal with (the generally good but of the job). Have a good day all.

Morning! Waves at everyone this freezing morning. Minus 3 here.
I'm feeling pretty shitty (literally) this morning. I'm in for another endoscopy this morning so had 2litres of Agent Orange Moviprep yesterday . Ive not left the toilet since 6pm. I'll be interested to see if I've lost any weight on it. Now thats what i call extreme dieting I would kill for a cup of tea.
Ma Please say your heating has been fixed?
efc That's so shit. How can they justify doing that?
mouse how you doing my lovely?

Hope you are all keeping warm! Ma 7 attempts to repair one boiler is outrageous.

I’m at work, steeling myself for some admin jobs I’d rather avoid as they involve spreadsheets ‘shudder’.

Had a bit of a wobble yesterday for no obvious reason and caught myself thinking ‘but, yeah, if I can stop drinking completely, maybe I can moderate after all?’ To which the answer - in my case - is a big fat NO. Oddly enough, the boredom thing came and went. I’m learning to accept the being with my feelings without a mask or some nice feeling-numbing substance. What scares me are those random urges and the voice trying to convince me it’d be fine to ‘just have one now and then’. The voice can sound so damn reasonable.

Hi everyone, been catching up with the thread, I sort of dropped off again after saying I'd be around more. Hopeless.

Ma I'm so impressed with the 8 mile walk! I couldn't do one. The boiler situation is beyond a joke though.

efc That's awful about work. I'd be so upset.

Anne Losing 1 day isn't a failure. And you managed to stop. Not everyone would.

Sweet I hope you aren't feeling too horrific. I had to give a customer I was serving a bin to throw up in on Tuesday and I've worried constantly since I'm going to catch norovirus I don't even think that's what she had as she had chest pains as well. Fortunately a less paranoid first aider came to take over from me quite quickly.

Beautiful pics Mint. I was so cold yesterday I thought I might die at one point! It took me 3 hours (its usually an hour from locking my door) to get to work thanks to the frozen snow, ice and fog. All the trains were off, the replacement bus took forever. It was hidious. Winter always looks so lovely on a screen/indoors.

I'm having a real internal debate about drinking on holiday. I go long haul on Saturday (hence the fear about norovirus) and it'll be the holiday of a lifetime for DS so I don't want to spoil it by drinking BUT it's my mum's 70th birthday and we'll be at a cocktail bar where we last went when I was 21a long time ago and I know she really wants to have proper drinks with me. I desperately want to be able to moderate/Just have one but I don't know if I can. It's so hard and I really resent these thoughts about drinking playing on my mind. I'm not used to thinking about it to this extent now because I've done so long dry.

I'm really worried about the holiday in general. The flight with DS, the bags being lost, having my contact lenses confiscated, the camera on my phone not working when I get there etc. This is why I don't go anywhere. My nerves are shredded.

tea tonight. still no heat. have borrowed a heater from work

Oh baking take a step back from it all....

You cannot control the bags or the flights.. Can you just enjoy 'the moment'? be with the weirdness of flying across the ocean, surrender to the experience. Your bags will be there... or they won't . You cannot make it happen. And if the bags are not there, they will appear eventually, at some point.

And re drinking: don't worry about it now. Decide what you want to do. lots of fruit cocktails, and then on your Mum's birthday one shot of alcohol, (or maybe two).. then back to the fruit cocktails. No one needs to know what you're drinking

baking just de-lurking to suggest a non-alcoholic cocktail perhaps - looks the part and you can drink them all night. My go to is a non-alc mojito.

Evening!

baking easier said than done- try not to worry about things that might not happen. I’m sure your Mum wouldn’t want you getting worried about having a drink with her- she’ll be glad to see you.

ma what make is your boiler. Mine is 11 years old but for a flat fee Bosch sorted it when it broke recently.

mint hope the test went ok and you are enjoying a nice cuppa!

crafty I’ve always used alcohol to numb- but last night when I was so upset about work a good cry did the trick (dramatic I know) but I felt better and didnt turn to drink and feel even worse today!

My Dh starts a new job in March and he’s away for 6 weeks initial training. So plan is finish up where I work now and move on- which should be easy enough. The company is cutting costs as one area is failing- an area that most of us have no influence over. Well sounds like most of my colleagues are jumping ship to so they won’t have any wages to pay (and no income

Peaceful thoughts to everyone tonight.

efc1878 Best cuppa ever!
We went to Celtic Conections to see Mull Historical Society with Bernard Butler last night. Bloody awesome, what I could hear over my stomach gurgling ).
I'm watching this on eBay. Quite like this for the awards. It's for a Veterinary Award and we are all going long dresses apparently.