Dating Thread 144: Jingle Bells, Dating Tales, Single All The Way

[DaffoDeffo]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

My point is that great age doesn't exclude OLD as a means of finding people of like mind.

Definitely.

I might be that someone needs to tell some of the men in their 50s this though. Because quite a few of them think 25 year olds will be interested in them. 😆

That’s a lovely update @pudding21. I’m glad it’s going well for you.

Frankly if a man in his 50s can't work out for himself that a 25 year old is not the way to go, he has helpfully excluded himself from the pool I am willing to snout around in. Win win.

Wonderful story pudding. I'm hoping this is the way things are going for me and Mr Mad, but only about 5% of my brain actually thinks it is. 100% of my body does.

Fantastic update pudding
Hope things continue to go swimmingly over on the smitten bench

Great update pudding

DogDay I get what you're saying that age shouldn't exclude you from using OLD and finding someone. But the pool gets smaller as you get older and there are many men who just won't consider dating a woman older than them.
The ones that are left just seem to be desperate to find a woman, any woman, to entertain them. I've yet to meet a man over 50 who does anything more than work, sleep, eat and watch tv all evening.

Frankly if a man in his 50s can't work out for himself that a 25 year old is not the way to go, he has helpfully excluded himself from the pool I am willing to snout around in. Win win.

That is definitely true. 😆

I’m not sure I do much more than work, eat, sleep and piss about on the Internetwatch tv all evening either, @MyOldBrainStoppedWorking. Well, other than ferry DS2 around to his many hours of training.

I’m in a cafe and just overheard some scary dating tales from the woman at the table next to me. She had to go to the police because a really scary guy she dumped threatened to ruin her life and registered her for lots of funeral appointments and she got all these calls about it. That’s terrifying. If that woman happens to be one of you, I’m very impressed at her attitude and resilience.

What a lovely update pudding21. It’s good to hear that sometimes these things can work out.

I’m coming to realise that my first iron just isn’t meeting my needs which is why I’m still looking. I think I’ve been guilty of waiting to see what he wants rather than realising I’m being left wanting. My second iron seems eager to meet those needs so I’m interested to see where things go.

On the age thing, I’m mid 40s and after a slow start, I’ve not been without an iron or 2 since I started this OLD malarkey. All within a 5 year age range from me.

Myoldbrain it certainly is a miserable idea, that men in their 50s just need a woman to entertain them because they are so useless and boring themselves. Yuk. That's not been my experience to date of OLD guys, I don't know why. A lot of my smug married male friends are like that though. When they all start droning on about retiring and pensions and filling their days with one hour of yoga a week I just want to throw up.

I’m not sure I do much more than work, eat, sleep and piss about on the Internetwatch tv all evening either, @MyOldBrainStoppedWorking. Well, other than ferry DS2 around to his many hours of training

Then I'm sorry TwiceMagic, I don't think we're going to be compatible .
I'm sure you do a lot more than the men I've met. One even asked how I do so much 'at my age'.

@TwiceMagic @crappyday2018 @DogDayMorning I'm also 52 and on various OLD sites.

I don't have any problem with lack of interest from appropriately aged men. I've set my age range as 45 - 56 and have to say I don't get many that look or sound ancient or pipe and slippers contacting me.

I live in a very large city so maybe that has something to do with it.

I do however see a lot of profiles of large men whose stated preference is a slim woman who looks after herself!

So, just as I was about to delete Bumble (i've deleted Tinder and POF), I decided to give 1 last chance to the Mr Boring whose chat seemed to go nowhere.
I just said "I'm deleting all these apps but if you fancy meeting for a drink sometime, here's my number".
He texted me straight away but still no mention of a date. He's told me has had loads of utter weirdos so I wonder if he's just being cautious.
I;m just going to go along with the chatting for now and see what happens. Nothing to lose as I've deleted everything for now.

Then I'm sorry TwiceMagic, I don't think we're going to be compatible wink.

Actually I think it just feels that way. Thinking about it I do manage to cycle (to and from work), swim (often in between drop offs and pick ups for DS2) and do several Pilates classes a week. I even manage to read the odd book, and appear to have been roped into becoming a judge for DS2’s chosen sport (involving an actual qualification). I may be less boring than I assume. 😆

I do however see a lot of profiles of large men whose stated preference is a slim woman who looks after herself!

That is definitely an issue. There are a bunch of deluded hypocrites out there.

Hi Everyone 🙋🏼‍♀️

First time posting on this thread. 28, no children & single for 6 months since my STBX bolted out of the blue.

I’ve recently been speaking to someone I’ve known for a few years, we’ve been for a few drinks but I’ve kept it very casual.. he knows everything that’s happened and how cautious I am due to unexpectedly having my heart ripped out. I keep blowing hot and cold on him and I can’t work out if it’s because their is something missing with him or if it’s because of how my ex has made me feel.

He’s good looking, funny, driven & we share the same values. One thing that puts me off is in his single days he was a typical lad and those who know we have been talking have told me to proceed with caution. I know he’s always had a bit of a thing for me (I hope that doesn’t sound big headed) but he never crossed the line whilst I was married and got in touch with me about 8 weeks after he heard my marriage has ended ... however beginning of last year a few people had commented that we were flirting at an event we were both at.. we were talking for about an hour with a group of other people.. not that I need to justify it but you get my jist.. I guess I’m worried that if anything serious come of this then people are going to assume that something has been going on and that’s the real reason my marriage ended (which is total crap, my husband left me and had a new girlfriend within 8 weeks of leaving ... but that’s an entire different thread!

I don’t really know what I’m looking for but any words of wisdom appreciated. I’m worried about other people’s comments, I’m worried I may regret not getting to do the single thing and go out and date etc but I’m worried that if I let him go ... I could regret it.

Ah look, a 50 year old man in the papers explaining why he can only go out with 25 year olds. Obviously no woman over 50 would actually want an arsehole like him.

TwiceMagic it all makes sense! He's not looking for a woman with any sort of personality or brain. Just one with a good body to make him feel younger.
Sadly, that's the attitude I've come across a lot with the over 50s.

Hi missbee I wouldn't worry about what other people think :) and I would say just carry on how you are and try and enjoy. His actions,not words are what you should be looking out for. I'm not the greatest person to give advice so hopefully someone will be here to advise better than me!

Thanks so much @user1466783975 xx

those who know we have been talking have told me to proceed with caution

I'd listen to them!

(he might always be good for a bit of fun, though?)

OKay, is it me?? It must be?? This afternoon on POF, speaking to a guy, 3 sentences in he disappears from conversation (but still online!!) WTF!!! And all these guys disappearing are messaging me first!! I'm on the edge folks

Well I put my aunt on Tinder last night she is 70 and with 10 mins she had a match and the guy was chatting away so you're never too old.

I found 50 +guys the worst I was chatting to a guy for a while all going well we spoke on phone I sent him pics he then said no thanks as he realised I was not gym bunny skinny!! After that I always put full length pic up.

Best advice I can give is go with your gut!! It's always right.

Well I've been talking to a new iron Mr Dark for a couple of days, and we've spoken on the phone, he has just proposed meeting for coffee at the weekend.

I had to say no and told him I couldn't as my daughter was with me. He asked how old she was ( even tho it's on my profile and I've mentioned her a few times ) and then said
'Cant she go and play with friends'

@IndieTara What a Prince among men!?

Hi everyone, can I join in please. I'm a long time lurker but never posted.
I'm so pleased to have found this thread, I have read a couple of the previous ones and have learnt so much, I don't really have many friends IRL and none who are single/dating so the advice on here is invaluable.
I am 42 with 2 son's. I've been single 7yrs so feel ready to start dating. I did meet my youngest son's dad on OLD but that was about 13yrs ago so things have changed loads since then. I rushed into what was a very toxic relationship but I am now much wiser and have got my s**t together basically!
I've made a POF profile but was wondering to give Tinder a go or is it more for people in 20's and 30's.
I'm a complete amateur at this so any advice welcome.
Thank you 🙂

I'm early 40s too , joined tinder a month ago and according to their notification today had 2000 likes in that time so not a waste of time. I've only met up with one but it's going well for now so I'm biased

Realised I haven't updated on here for a while!

I am on the smitten bench 😳

MrMechanic and I have now been on 10 dates in the past month! He's charming, funny, amazing in bed and really makes me feel special!

He was the first one I met on Bumble and the attraction was instant.

So yeah no more OLD for me as we are now officially a couple!! Xx