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Original poster

Would you find this suspicious? And what would you do?

142 replies

ThePeachPit · 21/12/2018 22:04

I’m pregnant and not feeling well so not really thinking straight. My partner finished work at lunch and went straight out with his colleagues. He got in about 30 mins ago, quite drunk (he’s not a massive drinker but drunk for him). He got a glass of water and said he was going to bed. He was quite and even drunk coming in and going straight to bed is a bit weird for him.
He’d left his jacket in the kitchen and his phone was in the pocket, I heard it pinging from the room and then it ringing. I went to go turn the sound off and take it up to him because honestly it was annoying me. He’s got messages, WhatsApps and calls all from the same person a female name, not someone I know or have heard him mention.
I haven’t looked at the messages but saw the banners, a few of them were just ‘?’ Or ‘.’ but she’s sent a message and WhatsApp and then tried to call him.

We have a good relationship, unplanned pregnancy but he’s been fantastic about it. He’s not weird with his phone, I know the pass code.
My ex cheated and I wouldn’t have seen that coming at the time, so I’m not naive now. But I really don’t think he’d do anything like that. But then I’m sat looking at his phone wondering if I should just read the messages to check. I don’t want that kind of relationship though, but equally I’m thinking am I stupid not to make sure I’ve nothing to worry about.

OP posts:
Greystar · 22/12/2018 12:03

Sounds fine to me too, as far as I'd be concerned as long as he continued to be open like he has been it wouldn't be an issue.

fromdespairto · 22/12/2018 12:19

OP I wouldn't worry about this. Your partner seems quite open about everything. I would put it out of your mind for now and enjoy a nice Christmas.

Katgurl · 22/12/2018 13:34

Ah he sounds lovely. How long have you left on your pregnancy? I was very uncomfortable and clingy at the end.

She was obviously hammered and could well have done far more inappropriate things in front of other colleagues. She's probably buried under the sheets in the full grip of The Fear.

Original poster
ThePeachPit · 22/12/2018 14:20

I’m only 23 weeks @Katgurl so ages to go. I feel much biggger than when I was at this stage with dd and I’ve had a stinking cold for the last week, so feeling pretty crappy.

She replied to his message, just said ‘really sorry, I was drunk and feeling a bit down. Hope I didn’t spoil your night’.

OP posts:
LizzieSiddal · 22/12/2018 14:21

I’d believe him completely. You’ve had no reason to worry in the past and he’s been completely open with you today and with his phone.

I hope you have a lovely Christmas together.

CountessOfNowhere · 22/12/2018 14:27

Despite what 99% of mn will tell you, most men aren't off shagging every time they socialise with a woman. I'd believe him as he hasn't given you any cause to not do.

Original poster
ThePeachPit · 22/12/2018 15:00

He is lovely and he makes me feel very loved. I feel a bit silly but he’s being really sweet and lovely about it.

OP posts:
crispysausagerolls · 22/12/2018 17:23

Her response has made me change my mind! Sounds very innocent

limpbizkit · 22/12/2018 18:02

Agreed. I think he's totally innocent. The poor drunken soul on the end of the messages is probably absolutely dreading bumping into your fella at work next. Grin good luck with your new baby and sounds like you've got a keeper with your partner

Original poster
ThePeachPit · 22/12/2018 19:38

I thought that @limpbizkit. He did reply and say not to worry and she didn’t spoil the evening. They’re off for two weeks now so I imagine she’s glad of that.

OP posts:
limpbizkit · 22/12/2018 22:10

I bet she is. I reckon she's been under thar duvet all day cringing at herself. So glad to hear of a happy ending Smile

Original poster
ThePeachPit · 30/12/2018 23:20

I know it’s a different question to my original post. But the she’s sent me a Facebook friend request. I’m a bit, hmm.
I don’t post very often and don’t tend to do the ‘in a relationship’ thing, but my bf was being a bit soppy over Christmas and updated his status to in a relationship with peach. I do have a few of his work friends as friends, but they’re ones I’ve met and been out with.

Bf said it’s maybe because of the calls/messages thing and she’s wanting me to know who she is. Or she’s just a bit noisy, my fb is private so she can’t see much without adding me.
I don’t know, I find it a bit weird.

OP posts:
Original poster
ThePeachPit · 30/12/2018 23:26

Bf says, it’s up to me to add her or not. He’s not saying one way or the other, just to do what I feel comfortable with.
No other concerns, no messages or calls and no change in his phone behaviour so I’m not concerned about anything going on. Maybe slightly wondering if she’s got a bit of a crush on him, but I can’t blame him for that or her really he’s quite a catch Wink

OP posts:
MyOtherProfile · 30/12/2018 23:27

Do you want to be friends with her on Facebook? Or if you're unsure you could do that thing where you put her in your acquaintances list and only let her see selected posts.

Original poster
ThePeachPit · 30/12/2018 23:31

I don’t know MyOtherProfile. I feel a bit rude not doing when she knows him and a bit like she’ll think it’s because of before Christmas, although he never mentioned me when he asked about it. But then I’m not sure I want her seeing what I’ve got on there. Although I very rarely post now, there’s old photos etc on it.

OP posts:
Original poster
ThePeachPit · 30/12/2018 23:36

I just find it a bit odd and I’m probably overthinking it. My bfs fallen asleep on me, think he was a bit sick of me talking about it 😂

OP posts:
happystory · 30/12/2018 23:46

Good question, do you WANT to be friends with her? Cos my FB friends are real friends of mine...

Original poster
ThePeachPit · 30/12/2018 23:58

Like I said I don’t know happystory. My bf said the same basically add her if I want, don’t if not. I’m just unsure. I tend to only add people I know, but then there’s school friends on there I don’t see anymore, work friends who’ve left and I’ve never kept in real touch with. His other work friends I added we’ve been out with so I’ve met them.
I think I feel a bit bad at the thought of not adding her and I need a reason not to do so incase she asks bf at work why I haven’t.

Definitely no I’m overthinking! Pregnancy makes me a bit crazy I think.

OP posts:
Original poster
ThePeachPit · 31/12/2018 00:01

And makes me an insomniac, which gives me more time for my overthinking!

OP posts:
Spartasprout · 31/12/2018 00:07

If I look at a non-friend on Facebook they always end up being presented as people I might know. I've also had someone pop up who I had a terrible time with 30 years ago and we have no friends in common so I think she must have been doing a bit of FB stalking herself.

Stefoscope · 31/12/2018 00:17

I wouldn't overthink it, chances are she won't ask why you haven't added her. If it would make you feel better, just tell your bf you don't add people on FB that you've not met IRL. I think that's perfectly valid reason. It could be she's feeling lonely and just looking to make new friends if she's just come out of a relationship. I know in the past when I've come out of a shit relationship, I've struck up conversations with decent men and there's been nothing romantic on either side. Sometimes it's just reassuring to know that not all men are like the last one you dated!

FuckItPassMeTheWine · 31/12/2018 01:38

I would accept her and send her a wave too just to mess with her head a bit as she seems a bit odd so I’d want to keep my eye on her.
It’s of no real consequence to you (if you don’t really post much ) but you potentially could find out a bit about her, like if she really had split up with her boyfriend XYZ amount of months ago. It’ll be interesting to see how your partner reacts to you actually adding her too .

Kennycalmit · 31/12/2018 03:58

If you want her on there then just accept. If you don’t, either ignore it or delete it. I don’t get the big deal? Confused

BumbleBeee69 · 31/12/2018 04:05

I wouldn’t accept.

limpbizkit · 31/12/2018 09:01

Perhaps she's feeling awkward and embarrassed and she's trying to build bridges so to speak. Kind of over compensate for her behaviour towards your partner if that makes sense. I dunno. If you're not a Facebook obsessive and that's nothing you don't want her to see on your profile just add her. If not just ignore the request. Its no biggy. I'd be tempted to have a nosey at her stuff but that's just me Blush