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Original poster

If your DH wanted to donate sperm how would you feel?

84 replies

Spider · 23/06/2007 14:54

Numbers of sperm donors have plummetted aparently, since they lost the right to be anonymous.

So if your dh wanted to donate sperm to couples who wanted children but needed sperm, would you have any problem with that?

If so what?

I have a good reason for asking but I'm off to pick up the kids now and will check back with interest.

OP posts:
isheisnthe · 23/06/2007 15:03

i'd question the motives perhaps - does he want lots of mini me's running about? but in fairness I'd think fair play - I have a childless friend aproaching 40 with no partner and desperate for a child and it is something she is contemplating, and something I would do too, if I needed to. All I would be worried about and this is far fetched) is whether the child that is produced would ever meet my chilren,not knowing they were siblings and have a relationship - so the location of the sperm would concern me more than the act of donation.

12lbnaturally · 23/06/2007 15:10

I went through the process of donating eggs, and then I pulled out because of the emotional side of things. I just couldnt cope with the fact that there would be lots of children out there growing up, with my genes and probably looking like me, and I would never have any input into their upbringing. I would be worrying if they were having a good life, if they had decent parents etc.

Since the whole anonymity safety net has gone I would not be happy at all with my husband donating. I wouldnt like to think that in 18 years time several teenagers turned up on my doorstep wanting to meet their biological father. What happens if the parents split up, would the biological father be responsible for maintenance now that they no longer have anonymity? What must it be like for the donator - do they ever wonder how many children they have out there? It's a really selfish thing but I wouldnt like to think that my husband had other children out there that I didnt know about.

Sorry to be so negative.

Blandmum · 23/06/2007 15:15

I fully understand the problems cause by declining numbers of donors, and realise what an impact this must have on affected families.

However, if I am being phonest I'm in agreement with the last poster.

I would be most worried at the lack of annonymity, would be worried at half brother or sister turing up at some later point.

Hulababy · 23/06/2007 15:22

If I am bieng honest, I wouldn't be so keen, nor DH, becase of the whole thing about not allowing anonymity.

makemineadouble · 23/06/2007 15:24

I would be worried about future contact for purely selfish reasons..the dissruption of my own family and strangely I feel i'd be a little jealous???? I'd wonder if he was thinking about the child and maybe wishing to see it? But when I think about a woman not being able to have children and needing a donar then I think it's admirable

TheBlonde · 23/06/2007 15:41

I would be okay with it

PregnantGrrrl · 23/06/2007 16:21

i'd worry about the lack of anonimity that there is now, but aside from that, i'd be fine with it.

mankyscotslass · 23/06/2007 16:24

I would be fine with it. I wanted to donate my eggs, but I am offiically too old

Nemo2007 · 23/06/2007 16:24

Personally would be happy that he could help others have DC. We have briefly spoke about me being an egg doner but dont think I would be accepted at my weight even though there is obviously nothign wrong with my eggs[groin]

Sobernow · 23/06/2007 16:30

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wishingfourgotone · 23/06/2007 16:33

I would be fine with that as i wanted to donate eggs/be surrogate but dp went mental just me talking about it!

joash · 23/06/2007 16:36

Nope - I would be happy for him to do it

FioFio · 23/06/2007 16:37

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ConnorTraceptive · 23/06/2007 17:01

have a problem with the whole idea of sperm/egg donation tbh

warthog · 23/06/2007 20:49

pretty unhappy about the prospect of some kid pitching up on my doorstep in 10 years time wanting to be part of the family, wanting to know his real dad and wanting financial and emotional support. there are children already in the world that need good homes, and overpopulation. but that's a different debate...

mummytosteven · 23/06/2007 20:51

I'ld be fine with it.

babyblue2 · 23/06/2007 20:51

Don't you get paid for that, or is it just abroad. I would feel better about it if i thought DH would remain totally anonymous, but i don't think i would be happy about it if i really thought about it.

Tipex · 23/06/2007 20:51

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

cece · 23/06/2007 20:52

DH wouldn't do it.

FioFio · 23/06/2007 20:56

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mytwopenceworth · 23/06/2007 20:58

Well, dh has had the snip, but if he hadn't - I couldn't let him. I couldn't bear the thought of a child out there. I accept that this for me is an emotional response, not a logical one, but WE are a family. I would not want there to be another woman out there with his child. What if the child came to find him? What if it wanted to share him? Have a relationship with its siblings? I couldn't have married a man with children either. Because I couldn't hand on heart embrace them as family, equal to my own children and I believe that anything less than that is very unfair for the child.

musicianswidowAKAmumofmonsters · 23/06/2007 20:59

i wouldn't like it.

NOt now that we have children and i know what his sperm can do.

likewise, i wouldn't donate eggs now but i was prepared to before i had children

morocco · 23/06/2007 21:11

I don't think it's an odd thing to want to do, to help other people have children, esp once you realise what a joy and blessing they are [soppy emoticon]
but
I would absolutely not want any disruption to my family life - ie stroppy confused teenage half brother or sister turning up on doorstep in 18 years time. no way! I'd want to protect my own family and family life
all theoretical as no way would dh think of doing it anyhow

expatinscotland · 23/06/2007 21:13

I would have a SERIOUS problem with it.

But a) DH wouldn't be approved for it, anyhow, because he has heritable learning disabilities b) he'd never consider it.

Blandmum · 23/06/2007 21:15

My greatest worry would be that the child would search us out later in life. I think that removing the anonymity , while understandable from the child's point of view, has significantly reduced the numbers of potential donors.

Awful as it is to admit, I wouldn't want my life, and the lives of my kids, potentialy upset in that way. Which I'm sure makes me a shallow person when you think of the grief that infertility causes.