Dating Thread 143 Can Anybody Find Meeeee Somebody to Love!

[DaffoDeffo]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

@thelaststraw123 try to relax and have fun xx

@Sidge enjoy the wine! The guy already sounds like a dick!

Oh and the sitter cost £50 right?

DaffoDeffo and Unique1986, I've just got back to the thread this evening and saw your messages from earlier today in response to mine. I just wanted to say thank you so much for responding. This thread is really helpful.

I have learned the hard way not to over invest; there are so many weird (and not so many wonderful) people on OLD that now I'm enjoying the contact whilst discretely keeping my guard up.

OK so I've done a profle on Bumble and there definitely seem to be more potential matches on there! Hurrah. Was getting really fed up of 'Hi how r u" messages from 50 somethings. They could be my Dad :/

LOL @BeekyChitch

Shame, he was hot in his photos 😁

I hope it goes well @thelaststraw123. 😁

I met my BF on tinder. He didn’t actually have anything other than photos (and his age) on there, which I know puts a lot of people off. I had some basic info. We matched and he sent me the most polite message I got on any dating site asking if it was ok to start a conversation with me. I replied that I thought he might already have done so and we chatted away.

I don’t think there’s one site that’s magically better than the others tbh. Although I agree that eharmony is dire. Truly dire. I think many people are using several of them at once anyway so you get similar mixes of intentions on them all.

OK so... quick question about Bumble. If you don't message someone wihtin 24 hours, do they go back in the 'pile'?

Sorry for stupid questions!

So I've been reading all about attachment styles.... Thanks to rich for discussing it on a previous thread

There's a great 10 min video that discusses it here

I'm an anxious avoidant go figure! And my ex husband was an dismissive avoidant.

I think from what I can see Mr E. Could be one of the normals with a secure style! No wonder I can't read him!

Things are going well and after reading this I really want to start working on myself so I don't chase the good men away and attract all the avoidants!

It's our date 3.5 tomorrow (aptly named as I'm going to his to sleepover - can't wait!) Except it's that time of the month

@sidge sorry to hear that, how hard is it to send a bloody message to cancel I'm angry on your behalf!

Hey all
Question on Bumble re the change in location on the app. I've read that this means that if they move to a different occasion then it only updates the location if they've actually been using the app? And not automatically?
I've been chatting to somebody I actually like (date night Monday!) and I'm stupidly getting jealous. Although I've been looking at others too...

@midcentury I am not 100% sure but I went on a date I met on Bumble. As we parted ways and he drove home, his location had changed to where the date was.
I doubt he went on the app during the date. So I can only assume it's an automatic location update.... Tbh, I've been using it to keep "track" of him. Happy to say he's always in his home borough... Not that that really means anything though!

@falaff.. yes. I believe they go back in the pile. Stupid really. I reckon it shits up the app. If I swipe left, I never want to see your image again. I'm confused at why I'm seeing the same faces!
I'd rather they start showing options from a larger geographical area! Not the local wierdos I come across, again and again!

@1stdatejiggyness I mean the people you swipe right but then don't send a message to. Do you get a second chance to contact?

I have the opposite with the location, I was getting people from about 50 miles away before any local stuff.

I've actually just been chatting to someone and we're going for a coffee on Saturday! PANIC!!!!

Tell me it will be OK... I've only have one date through Match and he ended up being 1 foot shorter and deaf :/

OMG omg omg!! So, he wouldn't let me buy a drink, we chatted constantly with no awkward silences, a few games of pool, and then a cheeky snog in the car park before he left. I walked the 5 mins home with a massive smile on my face and still have it now!

Date number 1 was definitely a success and definitely will be seeing him again!!

@falaff in theory, they're supposed to vanish forever but I would say lots have come back and made an appearance... Actually made me think that I'm using it too much!
Also, the app offers guys to purchase something called an extension. This means they can live in hope you will make contact for 48 hours, not 24.

@thelaststraw that's great! I love that successful, first date feeling! Sounds like you had real chemistry

@1stdatejiggyness we really did!!
Like the same shows, same backgrounds, same sense of humour!

I can't believe how much I genuinely enjoyed myself 😝😝

Great update straws!

falaff you can also re match them I think if you purchase the extras which in the end I had to do as most of mine expired as I never got around to messaging. It didn't cost much. They then sit in a grey circle till you rematch then you have 24 hours to send a message.

So glad you are having more success on there!

And 1st what a fab 1st date!

Not 1st I meant straws

Redownloaded tinder and bumble last night just to have a look but got bored of swiping in the end - no one jumped out of me and lots of the same faces from a few months ago and even 4 years ago when I first selves into the world of OLD.

At and delved - typos!

@DaffoDeffo are you an insomniac like me? (Saw the time you posted) :-(

@1stdatejiggyness - thanks for that info.
I have read that it only updates when the app is used (probably likely your date used it to remember key things about you just before the date? I've done that).
I think I may have been mildly-love-bombed - guy seems now to have dropped the momentum of the messaging (we have organised a date for Monday hmmm) so I'm wondering if he's found someone better..