He is too young but I like him!

[Amazona24]

I'm 27 and he is 19. I met him at work and to begin with it was just on a friend level and I've always said I don't fancy him. But recently I've been feeling pangs of jealously, especially when he posted pics of him out with his ex. He has recently become more smart at work and I think I now have feelings for him. People have mentioned they see the way he is with me and likes me too.
But it's just this huge age gap! If it wasn't for that then May be I'd pursue it but I guess I'm just sad that he isn't older :(

It's weird isn't it?
That age difference I really don't like.
But 37 and 29 is OK!

I think given he's a working adult not a hid in high school it depends.
What do you like about him?
Do you have any authority over him?
What do you have in common?
How mature is he?

Very strange. I guess all it comes down to is maturity levels. His are still questionable at times where as I've been there more life experiences than him e.g. child etc. But his personality traits are lovely and he's a good looking guy just shame he isn't older!

Hi OP

I don’t see the problem? If you like him, he has a list of qualities you are looking for and you get on well, why not just try and go for a date? It might lead somewhere or it might not, it’s better than thinking some years down the line ‘oh I wish I pursued that’ all because he was 8 years younger?

I’m 26 and although I’ve never dated anyone younger than me (not through choice it just fell that way I guess!) if I was single I’d atleast try it! The immature side may come out and it could be a full turn off, but at least you’d know! X

It's not so much the age difference, its that he is still a teenager I would find off putting, men can still be going through puberty at that age. Maybe a few casual dates but if you're looking for something more, maybe not the right timing? Not many 19 year olds are looking to settle down in the next 5 years

Far be it from me to be concerned about an age gap, (my husband is 12 years younger than I am), but I must admit his age is a concern to me. 19 is very, very young. I would be wary of his maturity level. Given that you're 27, are you wanting marriage and children? I just hope you wouldn't waste too much time with him only to realize and accept he's not ready for the things you are.

I met my husband when I was 29 and he was 18, took me ages not to be freaked out by it, but we are still going strong 14 years later so...

aqua I'm not looking for marriage or a child any time soon. Just a relationship with potential is enough for me atm.
oratorio it's good to know that it can work. Did many people make comments about the age difference?

My parents were similar ages and have been married almost 35 years. My dad looked older than he was apparently.

Amazona no, I never got many comments. A couple of friends jokingly called me a cougar, but everyone likes my husband and can see how well we get on, so no negative comments. Though his optician once thought I was his mother, that was pretty bad 😂

Well tbh I don't know if I dare say anything now as he's been meeting up with his ex. Don't want to make a fool of myself

Sounds like there’s a huge gap between you in terms of life experience. You’re a mum and he’s a teenager. Personally if the teenager was my son I wouldn’t be happy about him being pursued by an older woman with kids.

It’s not a huge gap and I know a couple of women with husbands with a larger gap. As long as you are the same age mentally.

Well my nan met my grandad (not biological) when he was in my 20s and she was in her late 30s with 3 children. Guess it runs in the family 😂

I know a 19 year old lad and before I found out his age I thought he was mid 20s. If I were interested finding out his age would not have put me off. My bf and I have become friends with him. I'm late 20s and be is early 30s. He's a lovely, well spoken, presentable, polite hard working young bloke. He's good looking and has a good sense of humour. I reckon he could easily sustain a relationship with someone our age. I'd be thrilled to bits if any of my friends ended up dating him he's a good catch. He seems to have a good head on his shoulders when it comes to avoiding drama and manipulation too as I know at least one woman trying to interfere in his life and he's having none of it and has been perfectly mature and dignified.

I was once told a general rule of thumb that the age gap for it to be OK is half the older person's age, plus 7. So if he were 20 that would be ok. It all depends on the individuals involved, though. There's a large age gap between my DH and I but we didn't meet until we were both older than you so it doesn't seem as much.

Well my advice would be to admire from afar but never act on it. It could end well but a high chance it wouldn't. An older woman could be very appealing to a 19 year old man, rather less likely to be appealing to, say, a 30 year old man.

Just don't. He is a teenager. Imagine the thread if you were a man and he a girl.

joy can I just point out there's nothing morally wrong with this! So don't be trying to make out there is. It's more of a maturity thing

I don’t mean this in a horrible way but I don’t think I would be willing to tie a teenager down with children. 19 is very young, just finding themselves really, they should go and enjoy life without the stress of such commitments.

Me and DH were these exact ages when we met. Got married a year later and have been happy for 15 years now.

Meh, I was 18 when I met DH and he was 28 . We've been together 14 years and married for 9. It doesn't sound so odd now I say 32 and 42.

fission you could say I could tie anyone down with a child. Bit harsh as my DS has a dad who is very involved in his life so I'm not looking for someone who will be a dad role in my DS life. Anyway surely it would be his choice weather to be involved with me and my life. I wouldn't force it upon him.

Anyway surely it would be his choice weather to be involved with me and my life. I wouldn't force it upon him

Yes, but being so young means he may not realise the full implications and responsibilities.

you could say I could tie anyone down with a child

Yup, but at least an older person will have had a chance to explore life without all that baggage.

There's such a huge difference between a young man of 19 and one who's just a few years older. It would be different if you were 19, too, and at the same stage of your life, but he has such a lot of growing up to do. I think you shouldn't get involved.