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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

He is too young but I like him!

122 replies

Amazona24 · 27/11/2018 14:01

I'm 27 and he is 19. I met him at work and to begin with it was just on a friend level and I've always said I don't fancy him. But recently I've been feeling pangs of jealously, especially when he posted pics of him out with his ex. He has recently become more smart at work and I think I now have feelings for him. People have mentioned they see the way he is with me and likes me too.
But it's just this huge age gap! If it wasn't for that then May be I'd pursue it but I guess I'm just sad that he isn't older :(

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 27/11/2018 23:27

Are his femurs still growing ?

Yes. Too young.

Nanalisa60 · 27/11/2018 23:28

Eight years is nothing!! Just go for it he might end up being the man you grow old with.

Hogglesballs · 27/11/2018 23:45

It's not the years is it, he's a teen, he's still developing who he is. A boy. I love the way if a man posted on here saying this oh I can just have a fling he'd get flamed but when it's a woman it's fine.

Hogglesballs · 27/11/2018 23:46

@adoggyman yes no idea why...

LuckyDiamond · 27/11/2018 23:47

He fails the half your age plus 7 test, Wait 2 years then jump him.

Tyrionbannister · 27/11/2018 23:55

Grim.

wafflyversatile · 27/11/2018 23:57

See how the staff christmas party goes. Update us!

babygoose48 · 28/11/2018 00:21

Here’s me over her worrying about a guy that’s two younger than me 😂

I reckon you just go with the flow OP. It either works or it doesn’t, right?

Amazona24 · 28/11/2018 07:04

waffy yea I was thinking of Talking to him at the staff Christmas party but then I dunno. I never said I wanted to jump into a relationship, just tell him and see how it went.
I once dated a 24 year old, was a fling type thing but this 19 year old is way more mature than he ever was! When I was younger I always said I'd never like a younger guy.

OP posts:
FissionChips · 28/11/2018 07:19

Life is really too short to not take a chance. Imagine sitting there in your old age thinking back to your youth and wondering what if

I doubt many people would look back and think “oh, I wonder if that teenager who probably still hadn’t fully matured physically and mentally was The One. Grin

Alfie190 · 28/11/2018 07:50

I am older than my DH, but he wasn't a teenager when we met. I don't think a woman in her late twenties with a child should be pursuing a teenager.

MyOtherProfile · 28/11/2018 07:50

How well do you know him? Can you just have coffee in a work break with him and see how it goes?

wishywashy6 · 28/11/2018 08:39

I dated a 19 year old when I was 33 Blushwe were together about 2 years
To be fair it ended quite badly which was probably partly down to his emotional immaturity, although he had quite a few issues which were nothing to do with his age and he turned out to be a complete prick

I'm 36 now and my BF is 26, you really wouldn't know it when we're together though.

Don't base your feelings on a number, base them on the person in front of you

SleepingStandingUp · 28/11/2018 09:00

OP offer to take him out for a drink on his birthday and THEN snog him. He won't be a teenager then.

Plenty of emotionally immature guys in their 30's with no idea what they want to do in life or how to have a healthy relationship, still at home having everything done for them by their mum. If this guy is mature and capable of making his own de isions, there's no imbalance of power at work so no repurcussions if he says no, then I'd just start by seeing if he wants to spend time with you. Drinks after work with some colleagues?

BettyCrook · 28/11/2018 10:05

I came across as mature when I was that age but looking back it was all an act and mostly a defence mechanism. I took life too seriously and that made me seem sensible. I wasn't, I was depressed and scared.

OP He really is too young. You are at a different life stage AND it's work!
It's not fair to involve him, or tell him you like him (WTF?! you hadn't even gone on a date. You don't really know him apart from facebook posts and his work persona). You already say you like him but say you aren't looking for a relation... I'm not sure about this. See where it leads you say. Even in 5 years he won't be in the same stage in life as you. Maybe when he is 36+ yeah but not anytime soon.

Not only are you older, but you have a child which ties you down and limits your availability at a time when he may want to travel, party etc.

18+ guys as FWB not from work fine. Very young guys and from work. NOOOOO!

And it's bad news that he is posting pics with his ex..

Please don't get drunk at the works do.. you may end up rejected and embarrassed and be the gossip of the work place!

TheSecondMrsAshwell · 28/11/2018 11:56

Okay, so there are plenty of 40 year old men out there with the maturity of toddlers who can't have what they want for dinner. Or there are 19 year olds who can behave like grown ups.

I had a relationship in my teens with a much older man. I think my parents held their breath but let me get on with it. But it never went anywhere (and he was an arsehole). I met the love of my life shortly thereafter, who is 9 years older than me (not with him either, but that's a long story).

whatever you choose to do, a light touch is in order, I think.

FissionChips · 28/11/2018 12:38

Okay, so there are plenty of 40 year old men out there with the maturity of toddlers

But those men have had a chance of a care free youth, can you not see the difference between a teenager and a 40 year old man child?

Orange6904 · 28/11/2018 12:46

Most of the 18 19 years olds I see look like young boys, not attractive as a grown woman thanks.

Amazona24 · 28/11/2018 14:28

sausage ok that's your opinion thanks

OP posts:
maximumcarnage · 28/11/2018 14:37

Too young! Too old! Some pretty polarising views around here. I don't think anyone can be so quick to judge. I have know extremely mature 16 year olds, just as I have met some extremely immature 50 year olds. I don't judge, take it on a case by case basis.

If you're really keen on this guy, just go up and ask him out. Could be he rejects your interest, well that's fair enough. You will no longer wonder and pine over him. On the other hand it could start something amazing. What have you got to lose? A moment of awkwardness or potentially a life long happiness. Go for it. And good luck.

FissionChips · 28/11/2018 15:19

. I have know extremely mature 16 year olds, just as I have met some extremely immature 50 year olds. I don't judge, take it on a case by case basis

Do you believe it’s all fine and dandy if a mature 16 year old was dating an immature 50 year old? Confused

Orange6904 · 28/11/2018 15:24

'mature 16 years old' ? Mature for dating? Still a kid really.

Amazona24 · 28/11/2018 18:42

Still undecided what to do. I don't want to make myself look silly. And in just still unsure on the age. I wouldn't want to hold him back in life

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 28/11/2018 18:47

Have you got any hobbies ?

maximumcarnage · 28/11/2018 18:47

Dandy? No idea. I suppose theoretically though I can’t recall seeing such a coupling. Maybe on the Jeremy Kyle show?

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