He is too young but I like him!

[Amazona24]

I'm 27 and he is 19. I met him at work and to begin with it was just on a friend level and I've always said I don't fancy him. But recently I've been feeling pangs of jealously, especially when he posted pics of him out with his ex. He has recently become more smart at work and I think I now have feelings for him. People have mentioned they see the way he is with me and likes me too.
But it's just this huge age gap! If it wasn't for that then May be I'd pursue it but I guess I'm just sad that he isn't older :(

why would you want a fling or short term or casual with someone at work? surely you only risk shitting at your workstep if you actually see prospects of him being the one...... it just sounds like lust. 19 is a baby!

There is tinder for that..........

Sorry OP but NO. A resounding no. The fact that you have posted about it makes me think that you know this isn't ok as well.

He's 19. Adult but not grown up. As pp said, if you were both older with the same gap then it would be fine. This gap/age isn't ok.

The people saying that he likes you may be wanting to stir things up. Those same people would probably express their disgust behind your back if you pursued this. Just don't. It's your workplace as well.

What!

Age gap, what age gap? 8 years is fuck all.

I met a lady when I was 19 she was 41, had a 4 year relationship with her. it ended, but we had a nice time.

Then after that I met my current partner I was 24 she was 42. I met her over the phone I didn't know how old she was I hadn't even seen her and I asked to take her for a drink.

Age is just a number maturity and life experience are a better gauge, and intelligence....

What I would say is everyone changes over time we never stop growing and changing. but that's not a reason not to pursue a relationship.

Change is not always a bad thing, I have changed in my current relationship, "because" of my partner and so has she!

"he's been meeting up with his ex" well that's a separate issue I'm afraid...

FissionChips "he may not realise the full implications and responsibilities." that's a ridiculous thing to say. you can be charged with murder a 10 years old..

As for tieing down a person with a child. that can be done at any age, cant it?

Lastly as someone whos done it, I think I'm more qualified to comment rather than these people for whom the idea disgusts.

Also,

Most of you are basing your opinion on a prejudiced against young people.

You believe all people are as useless as you where at 19!

ben thanks that did make me laugh! Good to get some advice from someone who's been there and done it. I think I might just ask him for a drink what's the harm? I've already got regrets in my life for not grabbing certain opportunities. Just hope I don't make an idiot of myself and get rejected

Plenty of judgemental people on here, to who, I’d say - if you don’t agree with dating a young man, don’t date one.

It’s about the individuals and life stage, really, and if you want the same things. Me and my husband both wanted the same thing, and we had tons in common from the start, whereas he had few friends his own age, he got on better with older people. I find it really weird how people on this thread are implying our relationship is somehow wrong and grim and not OK, when we have been very happily married now for over ten years and together for 13 🙄

Mind, I’ve also dated a work colleague and that went horribly wrong meaning I left my job, so I would caution you to think about where it might go and the possible impact on your work.

19 is a baby!
It really isn't.

They should be functioning adults with a job and the life skills to look after themselves fully. Some will have children of their own. They could be married. They could have been in the Army for 3 years and been posted abroad.
They're not all getting smashed every weekend whilst their Mum does their washing and cooks their dinner.

However workplace fling etc you need to consider if that's OK where you work or could cause you issues

Yea I don't want to ruin my career. Saying that there are a few couples at my work

Oratorio, the thread title's really clear. I wasn't posting about your situation as the thread's not about you.

At 19, most people (either sex) are not fully-formed. Doesn't mean that there aren't exceptions to that as there are to everything. In general though, 25 seems to be the age by which people have an idea of who they are and what they want. That's my general yardstick. This scenario doesn't apply to me and I don't care. I don't know why OP bothered posting either.

OP - if you're said, "He's young at 19, x amount of years age gap. Please tell me your experiences of how this worked well", you would have got more responses to your liking. I wouldn't have bothered.

lying if you don't know why I bothered posting then why did you post? I'm taking the good and the bad opinions. Every one is entitled to theirs

OP just ignore the joy-killers on this thread - christ you'd think they were getting a made-to-measure suit for a funeral the way they talk about 'relaaaaytionships'. the main thing is you like him! take it from there :-).

but be careful re. the job/colleague situation!

My and OH met when he was 19 and I was 29. 23 years later we are still together and have 2DS who are 17. I don't remember if anyone said anything about the age difference, our friends didn't comment.

It's the work situation that I'd be more cautious of than the age gap OP

I was a self employed home owner paying a mortgage at 19, not everyone's an incapable moron at that age

You're at very different life stages... he's likely to not want children for at least a decade....

Unlikely to work out long term, and working together is awkward, best not bother.

Erm... just going to jump in on this thread...

Is 34 (f) and 25 (m) OK ??

Or is that a bit iffy ??

Don't worry @101trees at 25 at least the brain has finished developing.

Lying there’s a big difference between saying, “I’d be concerned that he wasn’t at the same life stage/not mature enough at that age”, or “personally I’d find it too weird”, and sweeping statements like “it’s not ok” or “it’s grim”, which is purely judgemental.

Ha ! I'm not sure that's as reassuring as you think it is sausage !

You know.... I'm not entirely convinced my brain has fully developed at 34...

OP, to be really honest, I think 19 / 24 one of the things I would probably like to think is OK for someone else, but in practice I wouldn't dream of doing it myself.

I reckon most people wouldn't do it (most, not all), even if they think it's OK for you to. Other people don't have the same investment in your life that you do. So although they might think "Why the hell not?" They would see that in their own lives it would be unlikely to work out (most relationships don't, right?) And then they would be stuck in an uncomfortable position at work.

No one ever enters into a relationship thinking it will fail, but you have to assume it will go as all your other relationships have to date and consider the repercussions if it doesn't work out.

This potential relationship already has a big hurdle / potential problem and it's not one you can just walk away from because it's not a stranger.

After all, he is 19. None of us dealt well with relationships ending at that age. It was a big deal when it happened, no matter who instigated it. You just haven't had the life / relationship experience to deal with it properly yet. So potentially it's messy if it turns out to be a relationship which doesn't last your whole life.

I hope that makes sense. Sorry it's not the answer you wanted. I just think a lot of difficult situations can start with "Oh what's the harm in ..." without fully appreciating the potential consequences.

Whatever you choose - good luck.