Am I right to be really angry and upset by this?

[1981m]

Sometimes I feel I married the wrong person. I question if the signs were there before I married DH or he's just changed dramatically in the last 16 years since we met.

I feel like he's incredibly ungrateful, moody, has no get up and go and just gets at me.

He has a significant birthday coming up I surprised him recently with a trip away with his friends abroad to his best friend. 18 months planning and saving each month out my own money. Cost me about £2k. This was saving little amounts each month.

Unfortunately I didn't quite have as much as I would have liked to have for spending money so "borrowed ' £300 from our joint account thinking dh could pay that back out his own money and that would be his spending money. I managed to put £900 (£350 for accommodation) on a Pre-paid card. However, DH over spent when there so when I asked for the £300 he got really moody, saying he'd already spent £300 extra out his own account and shouldn't have to pay the £300. Moaning he's now broke and he's been screwed over.

I went mental, I am so upset at his attitude after how much effort and expense I went to to sort it out. I wanted it to be an epic trip and all I get is that attitude! Who's right?

Whose inheritance was it that paid off the mortgage?

I suspect if it was an inheritance of OP's she would have stated that. But I'm very jaded and mean-spirited.

I don’t think you screwed up the money. You paid for the trip and took £300 out on a prepaid card for spends. This you said would need to come out of his allowance, ie the joint account should give him £300 less.

In what world does a person expect their spending money to be included in a gift? He would have spent maybe £100 on daily expenses / food anyway if he were at home.

I get the idea of the prepaid card. It was an attempt to help him manage his spending. Unfortunately that was infantilising him somewhat. And he rebelled against it by not using the card. I think he heard what you said and didn’t like it. Hence why the cash from that remained largely unspent. He also didn’t want to stick to the budget you set him and now he is blaming you for that as well.

He behaved like a child because you treated him like one. Setting budgets for his money in a way led to this problem. Stop rescuing him. If he wants to ever see his mates again or do something nice then he saves up. As for blaming you for not being able to get gifts for the kids. Really?? Sounds like bs to me.

Small token gift for Christmas.

Thanks mummy- good advice I am going to take. I did the pre-paid card purely so he could have spending money but actually it caused more problems. Should have just got currency out. Job done.

Actually, the inheritance came from my side of the family.

I wasn't deliberately trying to mislead anyone. You can't win on these threads.

I am getting irritated by people saying we can't afford it. I saved a little every month for 18 months so I could afford it. I had the set amount, it ended up being more than anticipated and I found I haven't saved up enough.

It was £300 he was asked to add in NOT £600. It was going to be taken out of the usual money he gets from our joint account but I fortunately I forgot to change the direct debit.