Crossdressing Poll

[CrossdressingClare]

Hi,

I came out to my wife 11 years ago. She didn't take it well and had an affair. I found out and was heart broken. I eventually forgave her and we moved on to have another children and a happier marriage.

She came to terms with my crossdressing allowing my to wear hold ups, heels and underwear in the bedroom. Im aware of how luck your I am tan does I can tell you how liberating it is.

She does make the occasional derogatory comment and I get it. She also thinks it extremely rare.

I'd like to know how many Crossdresser S there are out there, so I can gage how rare or populate crossdressing is.

Thanks for taking the time to read and take part.

The Beaumont Society estimates one in every hundred men, here

I'm sorry, I see that the link doesn't work. Try their website, they're the experts and there's lots of information there.

Well women have been ‘cross dressing’ since the 1920s so pretty common I would say.

Oh I assumed op was talking about cross dressing men, not much stigma attached to women dressing as men surely.

My DM cross dresses. Only at home and only when alone or with me. Married over 40 years, only been doing this for last 10 years or so. I hate it and he knows this but won't stop so I have to put up or shut up. No one else knows, two grown up children unaware. It's ruined our marriage in many ways but we're still together.

I've had two partners who crossdressed. Doesn't bother me, it's literally just fabric. I think it's fairly common, harmless and even fun really

OP if you get a sexual thrill about dressing as a woman I can see why your wife is pissed off. Being with an AGP is hardly a nice proposition.

If you are struggling with dysphoria however you should get yourself some advice.

Was in a coincidence they both crossdressed or did you go looking for them?

I had a partner who crossed dressed. He used to use/ruin my stuff (clothes shoes makeup) when I wasn't home, he used to want to pretend he was a woman when we were intimate and felt entitled to the idea I should accept it as I had had bisexual experiences and as it would have been discriminatory not to! I hated it, lost all respect for him, and left. And I'm married now but if I ever were in the dating pool again o would never date a man with long hair as it can be a bad sign he does this too (not all but done!).

That's a loaded question, you are going to try and gaslight your wife into thinking that some women find it attractive or normal aren't you. She doesn't have to accept it. Many women are socialised to be accepting, supportive and nice.

Found out after 24 years of marriage that my DH (ex now) had been wearing my clothes and undies etc. It was a dreadful discovery, mainly due to the deceit and the fact that for all those years, he barely acknowledged me sexually and I always questioned if I was too fat or too unattractive (this is the way he made me feel).
I totally understand that many, many people have fetishes which is fine, however being honest in a marriage is crucial.
My husband was very attractive, but to be honest, when I saw him in stockings and a g-string, it made me feel revolted. I married a man, not someone who dressed as Dame Edna, much the same as he married me as a woman and not Donald Trump!
Each to their own, but sexually, it has made a huge impact on me and I find the whole thing a turn off, especially as sex was all about this "other woman" and "she" was the only one getting anything out of it.

I must add..... as for the Beaumont Society, I was very disappointed. I rang them, only to speak to a gentleman who was initially helpful but within a few minutes turned the conversation around to himself and his cross dressing. He also referred to himself with his female name. I just wanted to cry and scream and talk to another wife who was going through the same pain and shock I was..... I didn't want to hear about local cross dressing parties or how his long suffering wife allowed him to go out to dinner dressed as a woman.
To the OP, I'm sure this doesn't help you and I'm sure you are suffering with your own struggles, but I can hand on heart say that, despite being incredibly open minded, the breakdown of my marriage, family and trust has pretty much destroyed me for life.

I'm a nail technician and have three men who's acrylic nails I do. Two cross dress and one I'm not sure if he does but Is very feminine day to day.

My boyfriend knows absolutely loads from working an an adult shop that was popular with trans, drag queens and cross dressers.

I don't think it's rare at all

Why on earth do you need a poll? What do you intend doing with your ‘results’?

@unicornsandponies Why do you stay with your husband, particularly given your children are adult?

OP, I've never known a man who has done this or even suggested it. For balance, you understand. And I wouldn't stay with someone who did - I wouldn't be able to have a sexual relationship with him and to be honest, I'd be really really pissed off if I was told after I'd married him.

Some women would be OK with this, others (I suspect the vast majority) would not. But the breach of trust alone in not disclosing a fetish like this prior to marriage would kill most relationships.

I've never come across anyone into cross dressing. I wouldn't mind to be honest. I would be absolutely livid if I found out someone had been wearing my clothes or using my things, though. And there would be a difference for me between getting femme'd up a bit for a kick and going to the extent that I feel it becomes an almost misogynistic and insulting portrayal of "being a woman".

I have never met anyone (to my knowledge) who cross dresses.

And I would find it at a total turn off in a man.

I've never knowingly met a cross-dresser. Probably wouldn't be keen, as the male body shape I like is not really suited to it.

But that tells you absolutely nothing about how common it is - I should think that would be hard to judge even using scientific methods.

And even if it was just one in a thousand men, how would that affect the relationship you have with your wife?

Found out my ex did, can't say it bothered me at all, I'd be a shit feminist and a hypocrite if I thought he was a degenerate because he wanted to wear clothes typically worn by women. I mean he was a twat, but not because of that. Talked to a few other men into on my OLD travels, seems fairly common.

I used to be a bit “cool girl” about having a cross dressing pal, then I just got fed up of the “drip drip drip” in which he tried to sexualise the cross dressing?

It started with me “accepting his dress sense”.

Then it became him sending (what I now see as AGP fantasies) to me about going out in sexy women’s clothing in a “ooh I think the neighbours are checking me out kind of way”

Eventually I think in his head I was “attracted to his cross dressing self” because I’d complimented his dress sense?

I felt repulsed and like he’d manipulated me from thinking I was “supporting him” into being a non consenting player in his fetishistic mind games.

If he wanted to practice his kink with women who were consensually into that alternative scene then fair enough. But no, apparently he wasn’t attracted to those women

I think lots of female friends had disappeared on him as he tried to bring them into his “I’m sitting in my silken nightie so it means you’re attracted to me” weird fantasies.

I don’t think it’s the same as “cross dressing for women” in that I’m not putting on work trousers and a t shirt and delighting at the ”naughtiness” of it, I’m just getting dressed?

Cross dressing is a kink that men are entitled to practice but which I don’t believe is generally in the mainstream of what women want.

Especially as often it’s associated with progressing to wanting to behave like a “sissy” and be dominated.

It’s silly to pretend there are lots of mainstream women who “secretly” would enjoy dominating a bloke in a tutu and it’s just societies evil limits making them resist. And a few glimpses of a bloke in a skirt is going to turn them on

Look at all the women paying good hard cash to go to salsa classes, signing up for online dating, going on singles holidays etc to meet men.

If women really wanted a cross dresser they’d make themselves known for sure!

Great post @Lapperoo

I came out to my wife 11 years ago. She didn't take it well and had an affair. I found out and was heart broken. I eventually forgave her

Did she eventually forgive you, for hiding a fetish from her for so long, breaking her heart, then forcing her to comply with it until it drove her to resent her marriage so much she sort solace elsewhere?

Do you think she'll forgive you for writing this poll, to try and piledrive your right to wear suspenders over her own personal choices sexually?

I know one cross dressing man. He has done so since we were all in our teens. His relationship works because his wife met him when he was in a dress - builder's boots, as he had just finished work, and a knee length dress.

He has never hidden it. He 'frocks up' when he is with us, his friends. He never does it on occasions, birthdays, weddings, parents evenings etc. And everyone in his life knows, it simply is not hidden. He does admit that that level of transparency does diminish the kick he gets and that he is unhappy with that. I suspect he may change things up a bot once his youngest has left home.

It ain't rare. It is selfish when you expect your partner to just accept it. From my knowledge you have to be honest about it, even though that reduces the sexual thrill you get from it! Basically you have a choice... happy family or your own fetish (as that is what it is). And your wife may have completely different ideas, as is her right! You cannot negate her feelings!

(NC) Married 17 years. DH told me 6 months ago he likes to cross dress. I felt shock but also huge sadness that he'd had to keep it hidden. No anger. He had made comments over the years but I'd given flippant answers not knowing there was any importance in what I said. I think he would have told me sooner if I'd seemed interested.
My initial worries involved concern he wanted a full gender change, he doesn't, and that sex would only become about him in drag, it hasn't. I've been shopping with him, done his make up, had sex with him as a woman. All were ok. Not things I'd ever thought of before, and each new thing we took slowly in case it was a huge no for me.

I am his one sexual partner and he is from an uber religious up bringing so I think he has a lot of guilt with his desires. It's ok, not what I'd ever thought of but not a turn off and it's bought us closer as I am the only one who knows.