Catching my husband cheating?

[dontpointatme]

I can go into the back story later if needed, I just need to know if I need to get this set up quickly…

In a nutshell, I'm 99% certain my "D"H is up to something. I've found out from the wife of his friend that he cheated a while ago and he's been behaving so suspiciously recently that I'm sure he's up to something again. I'm not kicking him out though until I have proof, as he'd just go for the wounded party thing, and I'm not having that. He denies everything when confronted.

So, he's away apparently visiting a friend this weekend... I can't follow him to see where he goes as I have commitments that I can't get out of, so my (psycho wife) idea is to send my old phone with a PAYG sim hidden in in his car, so I can see where he (or at least his car) actually is...

Forget the rights and wrongs, will this work to track him assuming the phone is on silent and Bluetooth etc turned off so the car doesn't link to the phone? Am I completely insane?

That's rough. I'm sorry OP. Sending you hugs right now. That is hard. I went through similar. Now you'll need to plan the next steps and for that, I send more hugs. Good luck.

Sorry to hear that.

Oh OP that's awful. What an absolute prick. Right, what's the plan? Is he still denying?

I'm so sorry OP and good on you for refusing to listen to his bullshit. what a fecking CRETIN he is, and Her.

God, I'm getting bombarded by messages! Luckily my witty side has taken over and batted everything back at him really quite well. He's still denying anything going on but seeing as he's admitted being a devious lying bastard already just by being there, I'm not believing a thing he's saying.

Thanks for the everyone

Hope you’re okay. Least you have proof and can set the ball rolling. X

what an utter betrayal OP, I hope you're okay, don't let him gaslight you, and you stay focused and positive.

Sounds like you had someone following the lying git! I'm so sorry OP. I think your witty side will stand you in good stead in the aftermath of your discovery, though.

Let me guess... He didn't tell you about this entirely innocent hotel trip and had to tell you something else as you wouldn't believe 'the truth'? 🤔

Surely he can’t lie himself out of that.

He told me he was flying today, and on his own. Instead he picked this woman up and is staying in a hotel with her tonight, and they are both going to the course tomorrow. He didn't tell me she was going as I would not have been happy, which is true. But that's no excuse, and he is under no illusions of that! He may have to come back here u til he can afford to move somewhere on his own, but the marriage is over. No two ways about that.

Awful thing to go through I couldn't bear my ex coming home and kicked him out. You're a stronger person than me.

Hmmm he can afford a naice hotel for the night with OW though....

Hotel overnight before flying on Monday instead of Sunday, oh how very convenient, for them

If what he was saying were true they'd be in some cheap business hotel not a romantic one..

You sound very strong. Have you got people to lean on if need be?

It's shit but at least you know that he's been lying and you can deal w it accordingly. Hugs

Sorry to hear that op, but at least now you know he has been lying to you. Hope you have some rl support, take care of yourself

I wouldn’t allow him back in the house, let him sleep in his car/stay at his mistress house - the lying prick.

is the female colleague married OP ?

She split with her husband earlier this year, domestic abuse. My DH helped her get away and sort out a house etc. That WAS all innocent, if anything is going on it's from more recently. It doesn't matter though, he's betrayed my trust and lied to my face.

I have had brilliant support tonight from two great friends, and my mum knows what is going on. I couldn't deal with her tonight so asked her to stay away in the nicest way possible 😃

We have a 2yo DC and they don't deserve to have their dad living in a car/business (and they need to see him) so he gets to live under my roof for a few weeks max until he finds somewhere else to live.

I’m sorry dontpoint it’s awful for you but glad you got the proof you needed

Aw noooo I had hoped he wouldn't be an arsehole after all. I'm so sorry OP. I really wish you the best and am utterly certain with that intelligence and personality of yours that your post husband life will be amazing.

Is there definitely a course? Could that not be another one of his lies and it's just them away for a weekend?

Also, let him stay in a hotel, you don't have to put up with him in your house, if he's paid for an expensive hotel here he can afford a cheaper one for a while until he finds somewhere.

I’m so sorry op. Nobody deserves this. Wishing you all the best and glad you have good friends to look after you.

I don't know if there's definitely a course. Maybe, maybe not. I have no way of knowing. All I have is what he's told me so I have to take that with a pinch of salt. It doesn't really matter either way though, he shouldn't be where he is tonight, and he shouldn't have anyone else there, that's all it amounts to really.