My eldest daughter is 12.5yo, she found her first hidden bottle of vodka when she was learning to crawl. So for about 12 years I've minimised and enabled and will be hammered to hell by some for keeping the DDs in this environment.
But LTB is never never easy with an alcoholic, you'll hear.. I'll get better, I'll drink less. I haven't touched a drop, I'll go to AA or a rehab. Some do and get dry, a lot don't and stay wet
By the time the wake-up call if rock bottom has happened. You are an emotional husk with fucked up kids. Wanting to know why you are such a failure of a human being that you couldn't keep your kids safe.
Aquaintances and colleagues see you as a disaster asking why your so flaky and disappear from your desk or don't turn up at work, because your putting back together heartbroken kids, having to go to the hospital because your alcoholic has drunk themselves to oblivion yet again. Or the police have come around because of the noise or because you've had to go to school because your alcoholic has been detained in the playground. They get into fights with your kids friends parents, next thing you know your children are as isolated as you.
And it's so difficult to tell someone, next time your with a friend tell them that your partner was lying bottom half naked on the bathroom floor, in a pool of vomit and piss, with your dog casually licking at the pool of piss. How do you tell someone that about your life. That you cleaned them up and put them to bed, wishing for another day to end. That's why it's one day at a time
You wake in the middle of the night, the bed wet because they are too drunk to get up to go to the bathroom. Or you're dragging them out if the kids bedroom because they are squatting on the floor pissing in front of the children's beds.
The nribours stop talking to you because they know there's something not quite right in your house.
Each time you encounter one of the above you say to uoyrsrlf., It's only thus once they been worse do it's not that bad.
But it is.
Because each time, you get the promises, then the manipulation, then the I can kick it when ever I want, I just need it to relax because of LIVING WITH YOU, YOU MAKE ME AN ALCOHOLIC. Then it yhe guilt shame lying. Over and over again.
You spend day in day out wondering what it is about yourself that's caused this to happen, you look at your children not knowing what to do or say because it's their parent.
If any one recognises just a bit of the about, then make plans, protect yourself and your kids. I never realised just how hard it is to escape an alcoholic.
Now they are back with hollow promises about getting better for Christmas. And you can't escape them until it's so bad that a judge has to say No Contact because co-parenting.
I'm sorry that's so long - but that has had to be said. Because there are many of you that suffer far worse. I've never had to put makeup over a black eye or hide the bruises on a summer day with long sleeves. My cuts and scratches can be easily passed off because I was doing the garden, fixing the car cleaning the shed. Because the alcoholic didn't like what was being said.
I could go on but I'm worn out