Would you consider having a baby alone

[Jesspops]

If you were 38 and hadn’t met anyone ... I have been single pretty much all my life so it isn’t new to me.

its all depends on your circumstances, finances, job and the people around you as support.

Yes, if I could financially afford to. I reason most mothers in the animal kingdom are single and the babies turn out fine :)

I would yes, but I have very strongly wanted to be a Mother for as long as I can remember.

There are things to consider, can you financially support yourself and your child? Can you afford to take time off for maternity leave? Can you take time off to look after your dc when they are ill? Do you have family and friends who would be able to help you if need be? Can you afford nursery fees?

This isn’t an essential but would be ideal- do you have any men in your life who would be prepared to play a role in your child’s life? Not as a Father but an Uncle perhaps?

I won't be having children but if I did/could/would I would rather have them alone. That's probably odd but it seems that stress of disagreement on how to bring up children and general relationship stress can often be worse than the logistical and financial stress of being a lone parent.

That said, those do have bearing. Do you have family support and are you stable financially?

Yes, I would, depending on finances etc.

My good friend did at the age of 42. She is secure financially with a good job and support network. I won’t lie, she found the first year and a half very challenging but now her daughter is 3 and they are best buddies.
If having children is something you really want, be realistic about how hard it could be but hell yeah go for it!! 😁

yes

No way. Too much hard work. But I was happy to go without until I met dp and he was clear about wanting kids. I couldn't do it alone. I admire women and men who do.

I did. It's hard but incredibly worthwhile and wonderful.

Another single mum friend of mine had done the same but terribly sadly died in her late forties -- I did find it very sobering to think about. While it wouldn't have changed my decision, I would definitely recommend that anyone in our situation (a) get loads of life insurance, and (b) make fall-back plans for what would happen if you became ill or died and consider whether you have enough support.

Support networks are vital, but can of course be friends as well as family. People to share the happy moments and excitement with has actually been more important to me than having anyone to share the hard work (it's been ok doing it by myself, and in some ways easier than with a partner to consider as well).

Feel free to PM me.

Finances are important too, but not the be-all and end-all of life -- as with anything, things can change. But make sure you're aware of the costs of childcare in advance and that you go into it with your eyes open. The really expensive age for childcare is when they're two and under. At age three, some help kicks in, and then at four or five they can start school (but again, be aware of the cost of after-school care and holiday clubs).

I was surprised by how much help appeared when I needed it parents offering their time or financial help, friends giving us hand-me-downs or offering to swap babysitting. It really wasn't as much of a burden as I expected (although the childcare under two used up a chunk of my savings, as I knew would be the case it was worth it in terms of keeping my career ticking along, though).

No way, regardless of finances.

Regardless of finances, No I wouldn’t!

Absolutely, if I was the age I am now and still had no kids or partner

Yes

No, I think it’s ideal for a child to have a mother and father present in their lives. Obviously this doesn’t always work out but I don’t think you should make a baby knowing it never will.

Yes. You only get one life and you should do it now before it's too late!

Yes I did. Bloody tough at times but I wouldn't change it for the world. Def make sure you're financially set up and have a good support network in place. PM if you'd like

I wouldn’t - i have found motherhood difficult at times and if i didnt have my dh i dont know how i would of coped.

I’m torn. I really want to experience motherhood properly.

My best friend went down the sperm donor route at age 37.
At 39 she had her gorgeous son.
She loves it.
But she does have a lot of family around her.
She's a fantastic single mum.
A real inspiration.

Yes.

No I wouldn't have done that. I like the fact that my family came out of my relationship with someone I loved - still do love and he loves me. We've done the bringing up together. It's hard enough when mothers are abandoned or widowed without deliberately choosing to have a baby all by themselves. Having a child is not a right, just because we have biological urges doesn't mean we have to give in to them in order to fulfill ourselves, that's selfish. There are others things to do in life apart from having babies.

Op you may meet somebody with whom you'd like a committed relationship, especially as you are not particularly looking for that. It could be just around the corner.

I doubt it.

Without question. If I want to have a baby I will, my being single wouldn't make a difference. It's a hell of a lot better than having a child with someone and then braking up/getting divorced