A awkward Question to single mums

[Issy777]

How would you trust meeting another man when you have kids?
This will sound a horrible, uncomfortable question but I recently was witnessed to something my best friend went through a few years back
She was a single mum to her 9 year old daughter, met a guy in a restaurant we went to (a waiter) he was way too fast with her
To leave out the gruesome details, she caught him stroking daughters leg. Was horrific
She's now scared of meeting someone again. I'm in a bad relationship n think I only stay because i have two daughters n I just wouldn't.. couldn't trust another man, not just cos of what happened with bf but because it's something Iv always feared
What if u meet a guy he acts like Prince Charming, u become close so you're ready to introduce him to your child ? How can you trust his intentions? What he'd be capable off?
Just something I want to know as I know it's holding me back I know there's obvious going to be no way of knowing but for instance when and how long would u introduce your dc to new guy?

You use common sense and gut instinct. I stayed single for a year and half after separating from my XH/DC’s father. When I met DP I waited for about six months, until I felt we were really serious and that I could trust him, before introducing to my DC and even then it was just a casual trip to the cinema. I didn’t leave them alone for a long time and we didn’t move in together until we’d been together almost two years.

I now trust him completely with my DC and as a person generally after being together three years. He isn’t a paedophile or a perv but if I’d ever had one single doubt, I’d have left immediately.

Sad to hear about teenage girls with pervy stepdads. My stepdad growing up was an arsehole but he wasn’t a pervert.

isadore2007 I wish I could be that trusting. You must be a much nicer person than me .

Good for you

This: the ones who routinely expose their children to different men what! These men who destroy women an children's lives, and women ditto. You call the women adults,but they long ago got relegates to equal or below the status of the children and you are clearly blaming them for that. One cannot recover in an instant, and if the 'help' doesn't work, then its possibly because its not help.

Its take a world view change and brainwashing de-cult, attitude,massive belief shift, don't turn on the women, offer them more help if it's not working. Sadly we don't have enough help.

I don't consider my situation so bad compares to some I've heard but it has taken me years and shit boundaries as a direct result of his headfuckery. I do take responsibility for that, because that's how I acted, but I also was brain-washed, terrified , manipulated and gaslighted by him, the fucking deviant

What it is to be on the outside, and have that perspective, that your survival depends upon you not seeing when you are in it.

When you fear for your life daily/nightly.