25yr age gap

[ru345]

Hi guys I need advise, I have been on OLD for a while and just messed around by men my own age 40 somethings. Well I met this guy who is a retired sportsman so fit and he did lie initially saying he was 12yrs younger than what he pretended but looks orginal age he pretended. He is actually 27 yrs older than me.

He is the first guy to treat me lovely and respectful not after a quick fling etc however he is settled in his ways. Should I continue continue this? Anyone with any experience or advice.

If he's told one lie he's probably told others. I wouldn't trust him, sorry.

My ex was 20 years older than me, it didn’t matter so much now, but I was resigned to not having an active sex life once I was in my 50’s, and that I would potentially end up as his carer. Also, as time progressed, his age did become more obvious even though he looked a lot younger than his age.

I didn’t mind, because I loved him and thought the trade off of pleasure / love now was worth it (we separated for different reasons)

That said, fact your man has lied would bother me - it’s not a good start for a relationship! Why is he lieing too? Who and why does he want to attract someone much younger?

Nope, nope, nope. I was in this situation once. Every week the age kept creeping up & in the end I told him to just fess-up & have done with it. A normal, well-adjusted man has no need to lie. & 27 is too big an age gap, sorry.

Hmmm - I would be perturbed about the lies rather than the age gap. Someone who lies straight off the bat isn’t someone I’d want in my ifeZ my ex when I met him knocked off a good few years from his age and he turned out to be a bit of a wrong’un.

I was in a relationship with an age gap of 23 years and never found it to be a problem, we had a fantastic sex life, had lots in common and for the longest time he made me very very happy.

Liar, liar, pants on fire...12 years is a lot to lie about. 27 year age age gap is one thing, being lied to so blatantly is another. What else will he lie about?

No for me. And the lying about his age would be an absolute turn off.

If you're 40s that means he's 67 at the youngest. So you'll be 50 with a nearly 80 year old, 60 either alone or with a nearly 90 year old.
It wouldn't be for me regardless of personalities.

How did the truth come out?

If it was, after first date he said, straight up actually I’m 67 not 55, I told a ‘white lie’ on my profile because otherwise no one ever wants to meet me.... I could maybe just about understand. If it came out any other way - he got caught out or deliberately lied when directly asked - they nope nope nope lying is not on.

He sounds like he's fast approaching 70 if you're in your 40s. I would say no.

I think there is an age range of 40-late 60s where people can be really similar in their behaviour. However you will still be in that age range and in a relationship with someone who has inevitably fallen off the top end of it and is an old man.

Depends how rich he is 😂😂

Why did he lie?

Not because YOU personally may have been put off. Because for some reason he only wants women 30 years younger than him and he knew a lot wouldn't be interested so decided to lie and trick people into dating him. Honestly it's creepy.

I found out on first date as he said he was 55 and I asked him looking in his eyes I could tell he was lying then had to play higher or lower as he would not say he said 65 in end well I said it and he said yes but his sibling is unwell and he told me her age other day and he must have forgotten he told me the age difference between them so he still thinks I think he is 65 but he will be 69 in a few months. So he actually is technically still lying to me. I will be 46 then.

He isn’t rich actually only equal to me just comfortable as he retired young from sport due to injury. However he is very romantic buys me flowers and takes me for meals and pays me compliments all the time which is something I never got off men my own age and we can talk for hours on phone and we laugh and so romantic when taking me out.

I wouldn't be interested. It's too much of a gap. In fact, 1/3 of it would be too big!

He had 55 on his OLD profile

He lied to you, so he wasn't treating you respectfully, was he?

The romantic stuff, buying flowers and all that, doesn't really matter for a relationship- in fact, some people would regard that as a bit of a red flag if it is over the top. Remarkably often, that is how untrustworthy, or even abusive men behave right at the beginning.

If you want a good relationship, look for somebody who treats you like an equal - and is honest with you.

Just because he is the best of a bad bunch doesn't mean you should stay with him. Compliments and flowers are cheap. He probably can't believe his luck you are going on dates with him.

Your choice of course, but it's a big age gap

I agree he should not have lied and initially I was going to end it not because of age difference but the fact he lied. Other things are starting to come out too ie he made out he was more financially well off etc said he has dated women 10 yrs younger...may be true? Or said to make me feel lucky he has chose older woman. I am a young looking 45 yr so not desperate in terms of finding a man just always end up with players and fed up of men my own age messing me around and using me.
I did not know buying flowers was a red flag he buys me a dozen roses every time he meets me I had not been given flowers since my 20s so was swept away with the romance a bit! However he has meantioned that I should not put anymore weight on (I am a size 8, he keeps going in about his ex wife was a model saw photo).

So he is still lying to you? And that doesn't bother you?

He lied about his money and who he has dated.

Wtf are you thinking?

Oh and he wants me to wear short skirts/dresses never trousers when I am with him this isn’t sounding great now I read it back!

Yes, it's not sounding brilliant, is it, OP. You can do better than this. Somebody who thinks of you as an equal, who respects you (and respects people in general) too much to lie- that's worth having even if you do have to buy your own flowers.

he has meantioned that I should not put anymore weight on
NOOOOOO! this and the endless flower giving makes me feel he doesn't see you as an equal but as 'the little woman' much younger and controllable through gifts.

Also - I am a woman in my 60s currently seeing a man 10 years younger. 10 years younger is my absolute limit as I have DC in their 40s and it would feel weird and inappropriate to date someone younger than mid 50s.

Op. He’s dire.

You are jaded by OLD so he seems different. He’s just a different type of awful. Dump and move on

Re the short skirts - yeah, nope.
URGHHHHH get rid!

Hus comments on women that come in restaurant don’t know if it’s more insulting when he says a woman looks sexy or looks like a bag of lard either way makes me feel sick as he is so obsessed about how a woman should look/dress that’s all he seems to be interested in at first I thought great buying me red lipstick and short skirts was sweet but now starting to feel sick!