25yr age gap

[ru345]

Hi guys I need advise, I have been on OLD for a while and just messed around by men my own age 40 somethings. Well I met this guy who is a retired sportsman so fit and he did lie initially saying he was 12yrs younger than what he pretended but looks orginal age he pretended. He is actually 27 yrs older than me.

He is the first guy to treat me lovely and respectful not after a quick fling etc however he is settled in his ways. Should I continue continue this? Anyone with any experience or advice.

The lying would be enough for me to say no. 25 years for me would be way too much, you would probably have to give up having sex at some point as someone said and perhaps be his carer. I am 3 years younger than you and could not imagine going out with a man in his late 50s let alone 60s!

RyderWhiteSwan you have hit it on head little princess bribe with gifts to keep her sweet/as he wants!

The more you say about him, the worse he sounds!

Even if he were completely lovely, that's too big a gap and he'll be elderly in just a few years. I'm slightly younger than you and I couldn't imagine being with someone in that age range. I know it works for a few people, but not many - and I don't think he's the one for you.

It all sounds grim

Another thing - my former DH/partners from 1970s onwards around my age never have suggested I lose weight or wear short skirts or buy me red lipstick to wear for THEIR pleasure, his age has nothing to do with this - he's just a sleazy, woman objectifying misogynist full stop.

A 68 year old man who buys you red lipstick and short skirts! Sounds like he wants a young "dolly bird" on his arm (to use a term from his youth in the 1960s!)... yuk!

"Dolly bird" OMFG I'd forgotten this term but yes!

Is this for real?

I'm your age and of course he's too old for you. Same age as my dad , give or take.

Dollybird what a blast from the past

The age difference is not an issue.

The lying most definitely is. If he's lying about such a small thing, what else is he lying about.

The behaviour with commenting on other women and buying you things like clothes and make-up?

Run.... run OP. Of course he'll be charming in the beginning. Love bombing. Complimentary. Kind.

Won't take long for you to see some more red flags. Usually when you're already invested in the relationship. Trust me... cut and run.

Hmm I am doing an MSc at uni may look ‘dolly bird’ but have a professional skilled job too! I need to k I know this on head nothing to do with age gap is it it’s respect and honesty that’s really lacking here!

Plunk Love bombing?

Sorry Plink what is Love Bombing?

He told me he divorced his wife but later found out he refused to divorce his wife until the kids became adults then she divorced him

Oh look, he's a liar through and through. I wouldn't be interested because of his age (if you ever find out what that actually is) but the lying is even worse.

He's an old liar. Even if he was actually the age on his profile, he'd still be a liar. And a particularly creepy one as well.

I had two experiences like this. There's a reason they lie at the beginning, OP. I promise you there is. The short skirts are part of it. But you know that already. Don't you?

Whogives I doubt I will be with him to know re his next birthday as it’s not the age gap that worry’s me despite this thread title ...it’s his attitude about women and then the lying!

How does he respect you if he lied to you about 12 years worth of time?

Afistfull please enlighten me as took his romantic charm at face value

Run OP and run fast and far. I have read so many red flags. Telling you what to wear, lying about his age, about his wife, the reason for divorce and who did it, the weight.

Run run run

Romantic charm in a man who is lying about his age is what is known as the "Peter Pan" syndrome. He doesn't want to grow up; and he wants his partner to reflect this, i.e. to be younger than him, and to dress in a way that helps him to forget his mortality. You're the one who will pay though. As will he, eventually, when he runs out of women young enough to perpetuate his fantasy.

In my own experience, when the scales fell from my eyes in both experiences, what I saw were two men who were desperately lonely and vulnerable. I was too, though - make no mistake about it. I had to grow up. They had to accept that they were older than they wanted to be.

Afistfull what you have written has just knocked me sideways!!!! He keeps telling me his kickname was Peter Pan from his mum and he never grew up! OMG this is creepy!!!

It isn't called an "archetype" for nothing. (Archetype being a universal symbol.)

If you're interested in reading more, look up the archetype of the "puer aeternus". You'll probably find that it, and your partner, have quite a bit in common.