Dating thread 140 - Why????

[RunsforCake14]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

@Eraser what did you do?

@Eraser yup, was actually quite obnoxious but I realised just super blunt and I just laughed at him. He is a personal trainer. Tbh it's actually refreshing as no games, just someone bluntly attracted to me but he is definitely not my dream man in any way, just someone to flirt with and maybe a kiss!

@Eesha can't believe he said that. That's pretty unkind!!

@HereIgoagainxx I know right! Then again he wasn't much to write home about, body like Baywatch, face like Crimewatch! I felt upset initially and then laughed at him!

Just found out tonight that the guy I’ve been dating since end of August had his Big Breakup THIS May, not last May - which is what I’d understood.
So basically, he’s still chopped liver.
Gutted.

MaggieMuggins any clue I give will give it away straight away (give it away I'd not the clue, he's not from the chilli peppers!)
He was big in the 90s and has been in the big brother house....

Hi y'all, been out of the group for a while as
I've been seeing a guy for a few weeks. It's good fun, he's nice and clever and funny , good job, own home, hands on parent, amazing in bed, stamina of a much younger man, but I don't think it's long-term.

I'm probably blowing hot and cold in his eyes but I just know he's not for me. He's keen but I've told him I'm not ready for commitment, don't think he minds as the decision through the roof!
I'm happy to go with it for now tho, it's ticking lots of boxes just don't think it's ever going to tick the 'madly in love' box. How irritating!
Is it possible to have amazing sex with someone , great conversation, shared tastes and sense of humour and to not actually have any romantic feelings for them? I guess this is how it feels to have a fuckbuddy who's not a headfuckbunny!

I'm hardly ever online dating now as most of my needs are being met and the rest of my life is so hard.
getting plenty of real life offers too, all completely unsuitable. So I'm feeling very much in demand by all the wrong people, must be giving off some crazy pheromones!
Hope your dates and searches are going well x

@dragon, that's really tough! Especially if he is keen and thinks it has legs. I think it's really hard when you have different expectations. You might fall for him still, sometimes slow burn ? If he knows where he stands, then just see where it goes. I ended things with someone as they were way more into it than me, he was even mentioning engagement rings. 😱

@eesha, body like Baywatch, face like crimewatch. What a tool, well done for laughing that one off . I'm not sure I would have been so cool about it.

I'm meeting MrLondon today for coffee. Got a lunchtime date tomorrow too. He asked last minute if I was free last night (an hour's notice). I was pj'd so declined.

Chatting to someone new last night but why are people so odd, perfectly pleasant chat last night. Unmatched today. Baffled.

I have a date with Mr Nature after talking to him last night, he then added me on WhatsApp and sent me some photos of himself, he doesn’t look very atractive in his photos, infact I don’t find him atractive at all, what am I going to do now I have arranged a date? Do I go anyway or should I back away and make an excuse? I don’t really have any other date lined up.

@coolcahuna I've just had a similar thing happen with MrOld, he wasn't very responsive yesterday when previously he been messaging me "Morning beautiful", type messages, so I said to him last night I felt like I was bothering him and it was becoming a one way street, I'd be backing off and assuming he was just too polite (cowardly) to say he wasn't interested. No reply at all so that's that finished.

I thought I'd have a quick look last night and there was a guy, OK looking but had his age as 55, when he clearly wasn't. I messaged him asking why he'd put that and he said he couldn't change it (is this a POF thing - you can't change profile details without upgrading?), in fact he was 33. I said he was too young (I'm 43), but he wasn't having any of it. The upshot is after chatting for 4 hours (!), and him pushing a lot of my buttons and saying the right things (unprompted by me), I appear to have my first OLD arranged for next Monday with MrYoung

This time yesterday I was getting stressed about dating a 53 year and the issues that may bring, and now I've gone to the other extreme.

That's tough @Lovemusic33 I'd be a coward and cancel now because I'd feel even worse doing it after I'd met him.

viciensixen thanks for links in your earlier post. I spent hours looking at Matthew Hussey’s advice online the other night and barely had any sleep! So simple yet so good. Hoping to apply some of his tips moving forwards.

Pp sounds promising with Mryoung-enjoy!

For those with FWB arrangements can you advise how you went about ‘defining’ the ‘relationship’ with them. I am having a second date this weekend with, I’m going to name
him MrHot (guy with whom there was a lot of sexual tension on our first date last week).It is likely that we may dtd (not usually my style but I definitely am lusting over him) but I would rather a FWB type arrangement than a ONS. (I am totally prepared that he may go awol after the event but am willing to take the risk as ultimately not looking for a live-in partner etc (would have to meet someone pretty special to entertain the idea of co-habiting ever again). However, assuming we have a good time I would love to have a more casual arrangement. I have already expressed this to him, so if we have a good time do you think it would just naturally evolve in to FWB?

I went on a 3rd date last night and we ended up having sex - twice!!! I hadn’t had sex in 2 years so it was more than overdue!

He seems lovely and has an amazing body but I’m just not a full 100% sure. I’m trying to act really cool and not clingy in the slightest and see what happens. He seems keen, as we can’t see each other now til next week due to children, he said a couple of times it was a shame it seemed so long. However I’m secretly pleased as want to take it all slowly and not get my heart broken!

My ex left me pregnant so I’m a bit sceptical of men in general!!

@Whoknows11 I'm in a similar sitation and getting really anxious about "getting back in the saddle" again Sounds promising though - hot body and a lovely guy, it could have mileage

@JeSuisPrest are you dating someone?

It’s a funny situation as I do quite like being single but equally want to find someone to share things with and have something for me rather than my whole life being given to my children.

I reckon I just sit back and see what happens and in the mean time have fun!

Ha yes his body is hot but made me feel even more wobbly than I am! Crazy really but my confidence has been shattered so can’t expect much else!

@Lovemusic33 I'd probably go, only because men often look completely different in real life! Plus personality does a lot for me too
I didn't fancy my now boyfriend when I saw his pics in his profile 🙈 but he made me laugh so much and we seemed to get on so well when chatting I met him anyway. Was pleasantly surprised when I saw him in the flesh and by the end of our first date I fancied the pants off him .... literally 😂

@JeSuisPrest don't stress about age, just enjoy! There's 11 years between me and my guy, wouldn't know it when we're together though!

@Whoknows11 a week between seeing each other in the early days is completely normal, you're wise to be keeping it cool and not too intense. I think it's important to remember you have no control over the other person, you're only responsible for your part so just be yourself, enjoy what it brings you and try not to stress about what might/ could/ should happen in these early stages 

@Whoknows11 You speak wise words. Are you 11 years older or younger than your boyfriend?

@Whoknows11 First date set for Monday but we seem to have a lot of mutal things in common, he's very funny without being childish (witty?), and he's def got the physical features that attract me, and he's driving 1.5hrs for a coffee date, when he doesn't drink tea or coffee

I want a similar set up to you. A nice meal out/cinema once a week, back to mine when DD is at her dads and none of the work that comes with living with a man, no matter how well trained they are (and mine seems pretty well trained). Apparently holding my handbag in a shop or buying Tampax wouldn't phase him in the slightest - he'd put the bag over his shoulder, not hold it like it was nuclear waste and buy me a bar of Galaxy to go with the Tampax

Sorry that should have been @wishywashy6 Is your guy 11 years older or younger than you?

@JeSuisPrest oh your first OLD date!! How exciting! Have you been single long?

This dating malarkey is scary but I think I’ve just got to get out of it what I want and if it’s not working like I’d hoped then I’ll either move on or give it a break!

Yes I’m not keen to go fast, not looking to move any man in in any long term and I love my little unit with myself and my boys. They are only young and I’m loving the time I have with them as appreciate they’re only young once!

Let’s hope we find this happy medium x

@koko, just ask. Probably DTD once before you do as you might not want to do it again. But just ask and then everyone knows where they stand. Similar thing with me and Mr London - he wants to get married and have babies - I want to have someone in my life but no more babies. Had a grown up chat about it as chemistry is STRONG. Just going to have a fling, both know where we stand - boom. Refreshing when you can be that open with someone.

@Whoknows11 Yes, my first OLD date. I'm nervous as anything . We are going to speak on the phone for the first time later, though I know what he sounds like as he sent me a little voice message on WhatsApp. He's got a lovely Cornish lilt, without sounding like a farmer .

Been single for about 18 months but only ready to start seeing what's out there very recently after deciding what I'm looking for in a man (someone that will put me first and over 6ft tall - exact opposite to short arse exh)

I would also go on the date even if you are unsure on the pics, you never the know. The gorgeous guy I dated for a year had one rubbish pic but was a diamond in the flesh! I've also been told I'm better in real life than my pics. A bit of FB stalking has uncovered tomorrows date, his FB photos are way better than his OLD ones!

I’m not sure, he’s sent me quite a few photos, they all look pretty terrible. The photo on his profile shows him with dark hair, all the photos he has sent me show him with grey scruffy hair 😐

@JeSuisPrest I'm 36, he's 25!

@Lovemusic33 any redeeming features? 👀