Dating thread 140 - Why????

[RunsforCake14]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

You're probably right, but now the idea is in my head I'm thinking I want to give it a go. When I can be arsed to get back on Tinder, it's going into the first line of my profile: 'Overly tall, hyper-organised, diary-loving old duffer seeks similar for unfrustrated times'. They'll be lining up!

dogday

we need a 'if profiles said what you really want' competition

mine would say

big arms, hairy chest, naughty in bed (I had someone say they were going to fucking CRY in sex the other day, I mean I know it's tender and lovely but I'm sorry, you cannot even threaten to cry in sex till you love me and not before that), must understand that actions speak louder than words, must be able to hold their own, must not be intimidated by strong women and must be game for a laugh. And it would be sodding amazing if you could confirm a time and place more than 2 hours before we were due to meet .

I keep getting non hairy men. Is so disappointing. Mr Happn is super hairy but I'm going to be too old for him (he's the same age as me, this never works for some reason). There's a picture of him with his hair peeping out the top of his T shirt .

I think I would add to my profile: 'Please note the smile in my profile pic says I'm a happy person, not I want to talk dirty instantly however sleazy you are.'

@daffo, @dog, I'm a diary person too, like knowing what I'm doing and planning it in! I have found I am selecting better dates based on this.
MrGeek who is planned date 2 on sunday disappeared for a day and is now super chatty so not sure what's going on there and my enthusiasm is waning!

I am meeting MrKids tomorrow who wants kids - i've said I don't - but he still wants to meet and hes very good looking. So I can see carcrash dating is about to unfold but hey. Was asked out on a wildcard date this evening but I have the kids - he told me his surname, a bit of FB stalking confirms he is my type.

Anyone else experience a flurry on Friday?!

@coolcahuna I wish I had a flurry, I don't know what's wrong with me. I may only swipe on say three people on Tinder over an entire day, and then wonder why I'm not having any luck. Similar with Bumble though bit more swipes there. Still no matches aside from one wanting me to dominate and another wanting sex! One prospective went radio silent when I said my kids were babies. I'm just not having any luck, very disheartening. That said, I bought myself a bag to cheer myself up, and I love it. And I keep singing Let It Go with my kids with added gusto to cheer myself up further....'the cold didn't bother me anyway'....although it does a tad

I think the weekend gets busy when people realise they have nothing set up. If you're a diary person like us, we've realised this since Monday but given the rest of the population are not like us, this realisation seems to dawn on them at 1637 on a Friday evening

dog that made me laugh. I get v little filthy talk. Though I did get a cock pic this week.

cool I never meet the want kids lot. But I really cannot have them at my age. I am still amazed anyone would think I could have fgs (I'm nearer 50 than 40!). Maybe you're up for persuasion?! Enjoy it anyway! What could possibly go wrong! Sometimes ones where you know you shouldn't are the best fun!

eesha have you tried just swiping right on everyone that isn't holding a dead fish? It doesn't pay to be at all selective on Tinder and Bumble. That comes later.

Intrigued about the domination idea you mention. A guy I'm seeing started out pretty vanilla but is now desperate to be whipped. I'm playing along for now as I can't quite believe what I'm hearing! I've never hurt anyone in my life. Why would anyone want this? He is so lovely otherwise.

@DogDayMorning I've had 4 men approach me to be in charge and I can't figure out why as my pics are smiley though one other iron said probably because one pic had me in specs. All say they are alpha male in real life but like the woman in charge in the bedroom as they are submissive in that respect. I might go that way given I'm not getting any attention elsewhere

Oh crikey I see - I have specs and am smiling in my photos. Good grief, is that what message my poor old life-saving, can't-see-a-thing-without-them glasses give out to men???

I think I need to reconsider my life choices.

My guy who wants to be whipped is far from alpha male in real life, though to be fair I don't think he would claim to be. I think he's just tired of being alone and wants someone else to take charge of his whole life. When I said I was taking control of his diary he was ecstatic!

good evening, sorry if this is the wrong place for this post, wasn't sure what it would fall under!!

Basically I've just joined Match and now I'm in a panic....I had been married/in a relationship for 20 years, been single for 15 months focussing on me and kids, and settling into our new life. STBXH was abusive and controlling so I don't know what a "normal" guy looks for? I'm a bit lacking in self esteem and confidence, especially with my body image. I've let myself go the last year and a half and have just rejoined the gym/started stricter eating, but i have lots of wobbly bits and cellulite. I look at myself and say that "normal" guys will not be interested because of this. I dread the thought of getting to like someone and then have to take my clothes off . Top half is okay but gravity has made all my fat cells gravitate to my belly and thighs lol......do "normal" men bother about such things? I have never done OLD before and had a handful of boyfriends (when I was 16 and size 8) then married so i have no clue if I am just beating myself up about something that I shouldn't. TIA

Hi Scot the men come in all shapes and sizes so I'm pretty sure all the women do as well.

It's great you are trying to get healthy and focus on yourself.

I think most of us can be insecure about a body part/s although I don't think any of the men I've ever met OLD genuinely expected a Victoria's Secret model.

You are more than just your dress size or the size of your thighs.

Jump in and enjoy!

@hereIgoagainxx thanks very much for the info. I know personality, character and not being an ahole are the most important things in a relationship but as DTD is important at some stage I thought I'd ask!

@daffo - I know. Mrkids knows the score and still wants to meet. I find him really attractive in pics and I'm intrigued so thought sod it ! Will probably lead to nothing or a disaster.

@eesha, I think you need to swipe right more. You can always unmatch.

That made me chuckle that the organised people realise they have no plans on Monday 😂.

Not come across any one needing a whipping yet. And I am smiley and wear glasses. Where am I going wrong!

Can someone help me with Bumble please? The FAQs say you get a notification of a match and then choose to talk to them. Or are they expecting you to pay? I had a notification that someone had ‘liked me’ he looked ok so I liked him back. Wouldn’t that be a match? I am wasting my time?

Fonduefrolics Did it actually come up with fancy match animation? You'll know you've matched as they'll come up in yellow in your 'match' screen. If it's green it means that someone has matched you and if they are within your selected distance they'll come up eventually otherwise you'll have to expand your distance to swipe through till you get them. I think you only pay to bring those who've swiped right on you first without having to swipe through loads of profiles.

Thanks Eraser. There’s no yellow haha. But 27 in green. So if I keep going I might stumble upon them?

Yes if they meet your distance criteria they should come up eventually. You won't know based on the green match queue who have matched as the images will be blurred out but with 27 waiting you're bound to match with few you like! I think paying means you don't have to work so hard to find those that match. Remember the more selective you are when swiping the more the algorithm favours you.. I think this mainly applies to men though lol.

Oh dear if it’s anything like Match they’ll all be in London and I’m oop North

Anyone know where the down to earth single normish ish guys are that aren't online??
I like to think it's just the weirdos that go online lol
Everyone knows how easy it is to put a quick profile up if you've been single while.
Do we think lovely single average looking with jobs have too busy a life to go searching for partners?

I'm sure some of them will fall within your criteria. Also, don't forget that new users will see your profile all the time. The app is very cyclical so things might go quiet for a while and then all of a sudden you'll have a deluge of suitors. Have fun!

unique we arent all weird lol.. just a disproportionate amount

I think online dating is now fast becoming the norm when it comes dating these days but I guess people still meet through friends, work and places like the gym etc.

@unique1986 I still think bars are the place to meet. Just being out socialising. And also being open to all types of people, the same way one would maybe be online. There must be loads of people jaded by online dating these days who are all the more keen to meet and approach in real life
I know I'm feeling jaded myself!

Needing some Amy Young wisdom right about NOW.....

I needed this today.... keep picking the wrong man. Time and time again.

Morning all,
So date the other day went really well, so easy to talk to and we probably broke a million rules talking about anything and everything and the sexual tenson was almost palpable with lots of eye contact,never quite experienced anything like it before!Hard to tell whether he’s a player or genuine-how do you tell?He’s clearly confident and experienced at making women feel good about themselves but didn’t do any of the horrible ott complimenting etc that some men do that make it obvious they’re just after one thing.That aside we spoke about many things and he seemed to take an interest in my life.He is well educated and interesting as a person and I find him intriguing.I’m not particularly looking for a serious LTR and I’m not sure if he’d be LTR material but I definitely wanted to jump his bones!However I wouldn’t want to be used just for 1 night of fun and then ghosted (although I feel this time around of OLD I would be able to handle it much better emotionally), staying in contact as friends/FWB would be preferable-I have my life but nice to have a bit of male company from time to time and someone to scratch that itch. In others experiences does it matter how long you wait to DTD?are you more likely to be ghosted the sooner you DTD or if the experience is good with the right person and you’re genuinely in to each other does it make no difference?for my part I think I got the balance right between flirting, appearing confident but showing that there is also much more to me as a person than that and that I’m not promiscuous.So hard when there’s so much chemistry though!
We have had lots of messages/texts/calls, instigated by both of us - he never leaves me second guessing or wondering what to say and are meeting up next week (all lovely but again could be lovebombing).It’s so hard to be trusting when you’ve had it broken so many times in the past but my gut instinct says it’s worth the risk only if ultimately it ends up as us having one night of fun.he has had some LTR lasting a few years and lives with someone for 5 years,is not put off that I have children. I also shared something quite personal with him (as feel it’s inportant to be honest and upfront and could have been a deal breaker for some) and he handled it sensitively and wasn’t put off.has also said he’s not been chatting to anyone else since we have started chatting which I took with a pinch of salt and said it’s not my business. I haven’t either as prefer to focus on one at a time although I’m well aware that makes it easier to overinvest emotionally!
Apologies for long post!