Dating thread 140 - Why????

[RunsforCake14]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

@likeridingabike i feel the same. I'm yet to have a decent chat with anyone from there. I'm always surprised when people say they have met anyone there, how!!!?

I also wonder that eesha. I deleted POF tout suite. I never had one decent conversation on there!

I suddenly have 2 quite nice and chatty men on bumble. Of course, the one I fancy the most (Mr Happn) hasn't said a word since we set up our meeting for Friday (fgs).

I've had one first date from POF and hopefully a second this week but I can't find anyone else I even want to message.

I think I’m going to come off POF too, I don’t have much luck on there and get a lot of old men message me.

Just been talking to Mr Kayak and he seems to think we are officially an item (I now feel even worse about sleeping with Mr Marathon on Sunday). He’s saying he will take things at my pace reguarding meeting my kids. I have spoken to my eldest daughter about him as there’s a chance he might be here tomorrow when she gets home, I also spoke to Dd about me dating someone who has young children as it was a issue with my ex, dd said the problem wasn’t his kids, she just didn’t like him. I guess my main concern about dating someone with young kids are how my children will feel, both my dd’s have ASD and the youngest gets upset if I have anyone stay over, she hates noise and they both hate people touching their things.

Anyway, when your chatting to several people what do you do when your spending the day with one of them and your phone keep vibrating with messages from the others? Do I just hide my phone and put it on silent? 🙁

Love I don't understand. You have said Mr Kayak is too far away, too much baggage - but because he has said he thinks you are in a relationship with him, you sound like you are going along with it. Is it what YOU want? Is it worth disrupting the children when you sound so half-hearted?

Re your phone buzzing at inconvenient moments - I delete all chats AND put my phone on airplane mode during a date.

...ie during a session with a FWB or a date with someone I feel I know. Not during a first date, perish the thought!

Dog I need to discus things with him tomorrow, as far as I’m concerned I am not in a relationship with him, at the moment he’s living 200 miles away, his plan is to move here in the next month or so as his work is based here, I don’t see it happening which is why I can’t see it going anywhere and why I don’t want to introduce him to my kids. This is why I’m dating other people and keeping my options open. I haven’t really replied to his message hinting that we are in a relationship, I need to discus it with him tomorrow. I do really like him and if his situation was different I would probably go exclusive with him but at the moment it pretty impossible. For all I know he could have another partner back in his home city? I don’t think I could be in any kind of relationship with him unless he moves. If he bumps into my daughter tomorrow he will not be introduced as my new BF.

I’m still planing on seeing someone else at the weekend and I have a iron who is pretty local that looks interesting. Keeping my options open and trying not to over invest in Mr Kayak.

Mr Kayak does have one thing going for him, he’s pretty good in bed, maybe I should suggest we just be FWB until his situation changes?

Oh I see Love. Well, nothing beats being open and honest in your discussion tomorrow. He does sound lovely, but it's a big step to go exclusive and it has to feel right.

Strangely enough I am in a very similar situation, hints have been dropped by him but I have not felt like having a discussion yet. As is my usual fashion, I'm just going with the flow of things. It will all come out in the wash. Until I make any sort of promise to someone - and I'm not convinced I ever will - there is nothing to stop me seeing my FWBs.

love I put my phone on silent and just change the WhatsApp notifications so they don't flash up but I am always honest and people know they aren't exclusive till we've discussed they are so it wouldn't be a surprise.

Re MrKayak I don't think you should move him to fwb if you possibly want a relationship with him. I would discuss your concerns honestly with him tomorrow and see what he says.

I have sent a would love to be friends message to Mr Coast who I adored but was crap in bed and moving far away anyway. He may not reply as we haven't spoken for weeks but I don't like to leave stuff unsaid!

Now have dates set up for thurs, Friday, Tuesday and Wednesday. I better be feeling better by tomorrow!

Thanks Dog and Daffo ,I’m useless at doing ‘serious talk’ but I’m going to have to with Mr Kayak, he obviously thinks having a relationship is doable despite all his baggage and mine. When we first met we discussed what we were looking for and both said we didn’t want anything too serious as we both like our own space but then he seemed to change after a few dates and started asking about staying over.

I will put my phone on silent tomorrow, I have deleted all my WhatsApp chats just incase he sees my phone.

Deffo So far it's almost like she's picking up the conversation, just 6 months later! I don't think it'll go anywhere and she'll probably lose interest again but I'll see. Good to see you are having success though, your dating schedule makes me envious!

Gah!! Getting ready for a date with a guy who sounds quite serious but gentlemanly from Bumble (mr night owl?) And silly me, I put the hot rollers on low heat. My hair is nearly flat and they've only just come out!!

Hey all, I love this thread and I am now looking for advice. I have been on 4 dates with a man who I had a great connection with. We like the same things, had a great laugh and I fancied him like mad, he said the same about me. Anyway 5th date was arranged last week and I hadn’t heard about what we were doing the few days before even though we chatted every day, all be it brief exchanges . Anyway messaged him about 1pm and he said he had to rain check as he wasn’t well. Was a bit pissed as he could have let me know earlier. Anyway I haven’t heard much from him since. I messaged him saying I hope he feels better and ended up telling him we could leave things but he said No, but now not heard off him for 2 days. I just don’t know whether he is interested and it has really confused me. Don’t know what to do next.

Oh dear Shirley, I'm not sure there is a lot more you can do. It sounds like he is having second thoughts, for whatever reason or non-reason, but he may just be ill/busy. Sit tight, twiddle your thumbs and wait - but pass the time by working on other irons.

Northern kudos for using rollers at all - they look/sound so complicated! I hope the date goes well.

And Daffo: legend with all those dates!

Really enjoy reading this thread - was on it a few years back when I was first single,now I’m single again I’m rejoining.
Just one iron in the fire, had a first and second date a few weeks ago with a seemingly lovely guy, although he wasn’t for me. He since ghosted me.
Have been whatsapping and speaking to an intriguing guy over the past few days. Was meant to be waiting until next weekend to meet up but we’ve managed to find time for a quick drink tomorrow which I am looking forward to!

That's odd eraser - I'm guessing stuff hasn't worked out with other people but it's good that she's come back to you as there's obviously something she liked ;)

shirley I think you have to play it cool and wait for him to come to you. It's frustrating though. If you've read the thread you'll see I had this exact thing with MrMusic. In the end we had 7 dates set up and he cancelled 4 of them at short notice (though to be fair there were reasonable excuses but it was all v last minute). I know this period is really hard because you'll ask yourself a lot of questions but don't take it too personally.

Well after I wrote a spiel to MrMaybeShort about getting to know him better etc and my two week window, he responded with a one liner saying if I wasn't keen, then that's ok. Even then, conversation seems like hard work so I'm glad date not actually happening.

Had fun chat with new iron but it's his first day on Bumble so such a big choice for him. Also, seemed to disappear once he knew my kids with just babies, sigh....

Onwards and upwards peeps!

Thanks Dogday and Daffo, that’s what I’m doing, it just makes you question your judgement when everything is going well. Chatting to others now on tinder and god forbid pof 🙈. Not really into it though.

@shirleyvalentine74. I had a situation like this a couple of months ago. I just left him to it because he had a bit of a freak out and eventually came back a week later asking if we could meet & discuss........ It's called retreating to the man cave 🤣🙈

Leave him be and if he comes back great and if he doesn't, let him go and move on and invest your time and effort elsewhere.

If someone lets you down once or twice you can give them the benefit of the doubt but if this becomes a pattern then ask yourself if this person is investing as much as you are into it 🌈

I have a date tonight, first date so just a quick coffee, let's call him MrPB (first initial and job). There's an age difference I'm not sure about so this may end up as friends.

Is it a big age gap, like. Guy I went on a few dates with so far is 6 years old. He doesn't look his age at all. He's 8 years older than my ex. I think I prefer an older man, but I suppose it depends if they look after themselves/are young at heart

In my experience, a lot of men lie about their age. I'm always impressed when someone is actually honest.

6 years older*