Dating thread 140 - Why????

[RunsforCake14]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Yes! @midcenturylegs just go for it with no expectations and enjoy meeting someone new!

I've started to drop my poor psoriasis iron gently and am seeing a former iron tonight as friends. I rather like it when that happens.

midcenturylegs I'm significantly bigger than a size 12 and any man would be lucky to go on a date with me, go for it. Treat the first few as practice.

Must...stay...strong...

Mr Marathin is sending me photos of himself in bed, he’s so cute but I must not cave, it’s never a good idea to go back to a old iron is it?? He has the day off and I’m working a late, he’s dropping hints about coming over and I need to say ‘no’.

@Lovemusic33 why are you hesitating!? Is he not a long term person?...

@love depends. Were you more invested in him than was good for you? I've known people go back to people where it initially didn't get off the ground and it worked out....

lovemusic if you just need some exercise, I'd say go for it, otherwise no!

I haven't been on this thread recently, as I've felt very much like runsforcake and have also been feeling very sorry for myself, which isn't an attractive quality 😂
I'm trying again and have a date tonight (MrBear). He seems nice and normal, and doesn't seem to be looking for a 'cool girl'. I think that's partly why I'm not doing well OLD - blokes seem to want the archetypal cool girl (which I guess I was 20 years ago!!), but they get knackered middle aged single mum when we meet. Clash of expectations I suppose.

We're meeting this evening in a pub in the city which isn't my ideal choice but I'm going with it. Also, I live in a small town about 15 miles from a city. I ALWAYS seem to have to travel to them, and I'm a bit fed up with it. Why can't blokes suggest meeting in my town rather than near them??Mind, an awful lot of them don't seem to drive 🙄 I may need to get more assertive!!

super I think we both liked each other I just don’t think he was ready as not long split from his wife. It’s now almost a year on, he still might not be ready. I don’t know. He’s coming over.

Sky what do you mean by “cool girl”? I’m cool in my own (possibly deluded) opinion, but I haven’t been a girl for a ver’ ver’ long time

Also I had a phase of attracting non-drivers earlier in the year. It really is a dealbreaker I’ve realised/decided.

have a date tonight with someone but have only had minimal chat with him so don't hold out much hope and I look utterly exhausted today. Huge bags under my eyes!

Nothing else at all in the offing. Had a few conversations this week, they have all dried up.

One with a french bloke who seems utterly obsessed with what I might wear on a date which is totally putting me off. Other than that, absolutely no men on the horizon!

have come off Match it was pointless. Most of the men in my age range there still wanted kids (which is unusual I thought but I also guess that is the purpose of Match, proper relationships). Was about 80% of those in the 45-55 age category! The rest were pointless...

happn is quite amusing, that's where all my chats this week came from. Bumble, getting loads of matches but v few replies.

Is all a bit boring.....have another whole bloody weekend with no kids but no dates really (guy tonight is just a quick drink after work, I'm pretty sure it will be pointless!), hey ho!

coverme the sort that likes unsigned bands, graphic novels, tattoos and the freedom not to have to factor in kids and early trains back 😂

@Skyrabbit I dated someone who liked graphic novels and kept on gifting them to me - ugh.. cross that off your cool list

@likeridingabike @IdontknowwhyIcallhimGerald @wishywashy6 thanks for the encouragement and yes, I will go. I'll call him MrPerfume as he is in that business.
I'm on Hinge btw - anyone else?

@midcenturylegs I'm in hinge but only chatted to one person so far which went nowhere after him saying very early on that he had been on loads of dates and women lied a lot about their weight. Which may be true but I'm sure he could have phrased it better and later in the chat. Not having any luck with any site!

So, Mr Marathon came over, we watched a film together, I felt a little uneasy, didn’t know how to be around him and it felt awkward. He confused me when we were dating before, I’m unsure if he’s really shy, being a gentleman or just a quite person, last time it drove me nuts as I wasn’t sure if he really liked me which is why last time I ended up being a bit pushy and coded him into bed and kind of pounced on him (though he didn’t seem to mind at the time). I have always really liked him, I’m not sure if he knows that, I’m not sure if I should tell him that.
When he apologised a while ago for disappearing I told him that he should have just talked to me, I’m not sure if he’s the sort of person that does talk. Today I was the one trying to make conversation, it just felt awkward. I didn’t jump on him, we just chatted (mainly me) and then he gave me a hug before he left (which felt awkward because I would have liked a snog). I don’t think it can really go anywhere unless he opens up a bit more.

So now my heads a real mess
Why do men have to do the disapearning thing and then reappear messing with our feelings? I’m sure women do it too. I would rather he was honest.

I need to find new “fuck yeah” people.

@love in the spirit of 'fuck yeah', you might as well just ask “What is it you’re looking for (with me)?”. If it’s a fuck no, then at least it’s definitely done and you don’t need to give it any more headspace, and if it’s a fuck yes (but I’m nervous/shy/whatever) – brilliant. Curious though – what is it you like about him?

love I hate that feeling when I'm always having to make the conversation, it's one of my biggest turn offs tbh. I don't mind it a bit, but a lot...it's a nah from me.

love I also get why you end up pouncing on men when they are like that. I do the same thing . It's to get a reaction. He may just be too closed for you x

I know I just need to be blunt with him and find out what he’s after. I find if I’m dating someone who is nervous it rubs off on me, we then both end up sitting there being to scared to make a move or say anything. If someone’s confident then so am I.
He has messaged me saying ‘thank you for this morning’. In a way I would like him to chase me a little and make me feel fancied but I don’t think he’s the type (though he was quite persistant about coming over this morning). I’m not sure if he was after a shag, he implied he was (he wasn’t getting it though) but when he turned up he showed no interest in that at all, just felt awkward.

@love, that sounds really awkward. If he's been hinting at a shag then just crack on!

@coverme @sky, I'm over the non drivers.

I actually had a nice date last night! I'm still in shock.

cool I probably would have jumped on him if a wasn’t in the middle of a very heavy period. I had to behave myself whilst my inner beast wanted to jump on him 🤣

D not replied to my last messages, offline for like two days, but has been back online a few times today (bit stalky, I know) - so I’ve sent one “how’s things” type message and I’ll assume it’s a fuck-no if I don’t hear anything back 😕

Weird, as I haven’t been blocked or anything...?

Beyond that doesn’t sound promising, I haven’t heard from Mr Kayak for 2 days now, I have to say it’s probably my fault and he’s probably fed up with my not being talkative, to be fair I’m trying to slip away quietly, I really like him but I can’t deal with the baggage he comes with . I would say ‘if someone can’t be bothered to text to say they are ok, then they are not that interested’.

Well I did at least get a reply - and quick - but not very open ended. Bit puzzled as I’d expect the points to be put off would have been either when I explained my disability or when we met and it was evident, but both sailed by fine, and I had good vibes. Oh well, I’m the prize and all that jazz...

Mr kayak was a promising iron too wasn’t he? Stupid people passing as being promising and then not being so. Ah well.