Dating thread 140 - Why????

[RunsforCake14]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Pookie I go all in with the doggie, who cares what my ass looks like and if my tits are hitting the floor 🤣* gave up caring a long time ago.

Really I don’t think men care, if they have got to the point of taking you to bed then they are obviously not going to be bothered if your a bit wobbly around the edges or if you have stretch marks, just enjoy.*

This ^^ 😬
I think my arse is probably better than my face though 🤔

But yeah, I think being confident is quite a turn on for men and I really think we care about stuff more than they do. I class myself as relatively fit but my love of Chinese food and cake means I'll never get below a 12. Happy to flounce around naked in front of anyone though, stretch marks and all. If they don't like it, they know where the door is 😬

Nobody's complained so far 🤷🏼‍♀️

Exactly, I think it only becomes a problem to them if it’s a problem to us. Have confidence and just go for it, if they don’t like what they see then that’s their loss.

My face is better than my arse. I just hate my arse. Would chop it off if I could

@PookieDo
Really? Why do you feel that way about your arse?

I have been unfortunate in the lard ass department. Its just huge and wobbly I hate it

@PookieDo
Big bums are in fashion! 😬

It doesn’t stick out so I can’t even be in that fashion 😂
It’s kind of flat but very very very wide. I have such bad cellulite - I would never wear shorts out of the house and I hate bikinis and swimsuits

I’ve always looked bottom heavy even when a smaller size my bum didn’t change much. I’ve now given up on it and put some weight back on to fill my boobs out I am more proportional now but generally wobbly and ‘chunky’
Arms are ok and Lower legs. Don’t have gross feet or hands. All I literally have is an ok face and nice hair 😛

Pookie my ass isn’t particularly nice, it’s wobbly and a bit saggy (need to do squats) but I’m not bothered, no ones ever complained

I’ve had a few guys especially the last partner really try to get me to lose weight by saying I have a pretty face and would be prettier thinner. No joke unfortunately. The last one mentioned it multiple times over 18 months under the guise of just caring about my health

@PookieDo

It's all really about how you feel about yourself, nobody has the right to tell you that you're too fat/ thin/ tall/ small/ ugly etc so it sounds like you're well rid of the guys you mentioned. I'd hazard a guess that they themselves weren't perfect.

I'm all for working at self improvement, but only ever for myself. If I'm not happy with a part of me, I'll work at improving it, but never for a bloke!

I'd like to think there are plenty of men out there who will like (or love!) you for who you are!

I think it's interesting how we women critique ourselves so much because when I'm swiping, I rarely see anyone of my age (41) who looks amazing and in great shape, in fact, I do think women are the fairer, better looking sex no matter what! Men don't seem to critique themselves that much, just act like you should like them for who they are. We should take note sometimes.

Completely agree @Eesha

Well my date for this evening cancelled - so annoying when people are flaky but hey ho.

Looking forward to my date 1st date in 15 years. Divorced last year and just started this old malarky. In the last 6 weeks we have been messaging chatting and get on really well. She has told me she is shy and nervous about tomorrow, how should I best approach this date?

Hi everyone,i posted a while ago,i'm the one who has never sent a flirty/naked pic to anyone,mainly because I have a very old fashioned phone with no camera!!( damn my nokia!) Anyway,i've been following the thread and have been exclusive and pretty serious with someone for four months until yesterday,when it ended ubruptly. I think I go straight into a relationship after a few dates and get caught up with all those good feelings and maybe ignore little things that really aren't going to get better or improve. I need a couple of months off to recoup. I need to hear more happy endings like vets!

Just coming in for a talking to because I am having a bit of a wobble.
I have been seeing my new bloke for just over a month (twice weekly dates) and we have both admitted to catching 'feels'. However, yesterday I found out I have shingles (been ill for a week) and all when I told him I got a perfunctory 'anything I can get you?' I said no thanks as I am all set and just want to stay in bed and get better.
Then he said something about not coming over tonight (we always see each other Tuesday nights) as he is hanging out with his pal instead. I said ok as I'm not well. Then today I got a 'how are you feeling today?' at 3.30 and I said 'still rubbish' since then NOTHING.

I know I'm being unreasonable for feeling upset and that I'm being super sensitive because I'm ill (btw my family is over 200 miles away and I only have one friend within a few miles) and that at this early stage it's ok that he's not coming to see if I'm
Ok or even texting me. I haven't been in a relationship in YEARS and was happy on my own. Then I let my walls down and become vulnerable and now I feel like a dick head.

I should add he lives down the road.

Why am I letting this upset me?! My sister is driving up tomorrow to look after me so I don't actually need him. But he doesn't know that but that's not the point.

Dating update: tonight I was propositioned by and turned down by a famous 'gangsta' rapper after his gig. No joke.
He was very insistent and invited me back to the hotel but without my friends. I refused and every time I tried to leave he made it difficult for me. He kept asking why, and u told him ' I don't know you' despite him being a legend!
It was funny, surreal and slightly unnerving but I'm so proud that at last My boundaries are obviously working well.

unapologetically, sorry you are feeling so unwell, hope things improve for you as quickly as possible, I have heard it is rather unpleasant. Regarding the guy you are dating, looking at it from the outside he did ask if you needed anything and also how you were and you gave him quite short answers so I'm guessing he thinks you just want to be left alone to get better. If you want him to come round just be honest, I think at this early stage it can be rather difficult for someone to know what to do in this situation, especially men maybe not being quite as instinctive about these things. Don't feel like a dick - I think all will be OK once you're feeling a bit better!

@unapolgetically I agree that you need to specifically ask if you want more from him when you are ill. I was in the same situation when I was dating a guy about a year ago... I was getting annoyed that he wasn't there for me when I was ill (my family also very far away) and in the end I had to ask him to come over. He did. I didn't see him after that as I ended up in hospital for a week and it fizzled out. I know that I can be fairly short with people when I am ill and they then don't know where they stand.

I was on these threads previously and still lurking to see how everyone is getting on... I am still with the guy I met OLD in January & still going strong despite the little doubts I had near the beginning, they have all gone now. We have even booked to spend Christmas on holiday together, which I am very much looking forward to.

Thanks @Cake I was feeling pretty upset but you're right. It's probs the illness and lack of sleep.

Hey all. I’m back once again (with the ill behaviour) for equal parts motivation, eye rolling and talking down off the ledge.

Like the really duff profiles I’ll “update this later”. Except I will. After work.

@shitwithsugaron I feel for you, I was annoyed enough with ghosting after planning a first date let alone after actually seeing someone for a while. I still will never fail to understand how people can treat others this way. You have good support here and hopefully onwards and upwards for you, there are lovelier people out there for you