Added myself to dh and ow fb chat - part 2

[MissMarpleMyArse]

My first thread received so much support that I've been advised to make another one due to the number of messages. I knew my dh was up to no good, added myself to their Facebook chat and blew it all up.....

Re being tested for STI's. You will be treated with respect and dignity. All in a days work for the clinic staff!

They are bloody lovely at the clinic OP, I had to get tested because of bastard shitcunt XH and I went in and just broke down with shame. They were utterly lovely and so kind, made it clear I had nothing to be ashamed about and that it wasn’t my fault.

Thanks all. He's on his way here with the kids now. I'll see what I find, if anything, and then decide what to do. I think ow husband needs to know, for him and just because it will hurt her.
@lovetherisingsun that made me really sad. I hope you get to be happy, and I guess it's never too late to leave

• NOT just because it will hurt her

Agree Bambams message is spot on. It’s what I’d do. The husband will tell you if he doesn’t want to know any more.

Another one where sexual infidelity, is so often about entitlement and opportunity. My Ex just thought he was very sexy. He was, but cheating is the biggest turn off ever. He also cheated with women who looking back, were not that attractive. I look at photos and realise that I was still pretty hot! I can say that now, but at the time, I’d just had a baby, I felt very unattractive and dowdy. Also, our Exes were not paying US attention were they?! And making us feel unwanted and paranoid. We become a wreck. So @missmarple just accept that please this is really, really not about attractiveness. At all.

Urgh the STD testing. Been there too. Just to say they are REally nice. My Ex still to this day swears nothing physical happened, despite admitting meeting up with 4 women that he was sexting. The woman in the clinic just looked at me when I said, look I’m not sure, Ex said he didn’t, and it was actually in that moment from the way she looked at me that I knew, of course he slept with them. Why wouldn’t they?! Excitement. Sexting. Sex is available, the people are right there. Why the hell wouldn’t they at that point? There was no way that loyalty figured in any of it.

So your Ex has definitely slept with her. Honestly I know that just from what you’ve said. Someone who possibly, just possibly hadn’t would be a man who had pulled themselves back from the sexting themselves and made attempts to stop it all without being found out.

@Bananasinpyjamas11 same as you I knew he'd done it, but I still couldn't quite believe it.

I was hoping he would pick them up from home and get here before they got back. But he's got them from school to save them getting the bus. They want to come back and get changed so I'll only have a few minutes. And can't shout at him which is probably a good thing. Getting nervous now. I'll let you know.

Well there's my proof

What did he say? I’m sorry MMMA, he’s just a thundercunt of epic proportions.

Please be strong and fit take him back. He's only sorry he's been caught! He'd still be at it if you hadn't busted the fucker

Yes, have the STD test. I also had it done after my ex-H cheated. The OW had given him chlamydia, which he declined to mention to me. Nice.

The clinics are very understanding about these things - at least the one I went to was.

oh dear :( I'm so sorry. I know until you see it in black and white you will question and doubt yourself and wonder if it ever really did occur.

Agree with @Bananasinpyjamas11 that once the sexting starts the rest follows very quickly afterwards. My ex slept with me on our second date (it would have been the first if we hadn't got so drunk) and we began by starting off sexting just a week or so before we actually met so women who do this kind of thing usually move very quickly in my experience, if the woman has made her mind up that she is going to sleep with a guy I think the only thing holding anything back is the logistics.

I know my ex had been sexting at least one other guy when we were together after we had a short break in May. She had no qualms about driving over to mine for sex a few times a week so I can't see why she wouldn't have been doing the same with others.

I’m really sorry op 💐 but Atleast you know how utterly scummy he is now . He is a complete cunt . Gutted for you , you deserve so much so much better xx

Urgh! His sordid night away and his two return to the scene visits with you and the DC. Made me physcially shiver with disgust at the way his mind works.

Oh my. So the one time he took all of you but there are three dates he’s been to the premiere inn? So twice he’s met the OW there. I do wonder if this is the only hotel, just the one you’ve found.

You are being so strong @MissMarpleMyArse.
It's awful when you find out the levels of deceit a person you though you knew will go to. I'm sorry you are having to face that. I have been in the exact same place as you. I found numerous online dating profiles too.
I would tell the ow h he deserves to know.

Agree with the comment about him being a thundercunt, a massive one. Marples, stay strong.

So sorry, just seen your screenshot. At least you know now and also that he has lied yet again to you.

I hope you tell the OW husband, he definitely needs to know. I'd send him that screenshot and also a brief explanation of how he can check himself - most people forget about their Google maps history, they delete Whatsapp/FB messages but not that.

What a horrible situation.

Be angry OP, very bloody angry!
I suspect that you'll come out of this a much stronger woman.
He will never be anything other than a cunt.

He took us the 2 last times.
He doesn't know I've seen that. He put his phone and keys on the worktop and I said ooh careful, you know what happened last time you left that thing unattended. He said he had nothing to hide on it so I took it and said you won't mind if I look and walked in the front room. The smug look in his face when I handed it back and he said found anything? Nope.

What a thundercunt.

Now you have proof, name her and drag him through the court for adultry.

You’re getting him back at his own lying game op , good ! I’d tell the ow’s husband now and then I’m sure she’ll be letting your shitbag know what’s happened. Good for you! I’m so angered for you though xx

He was there from 2pm too? right through to 11am? Oh what an arse, couldn't wait until you were well out of the door to jump! (intrigued to know about this location thingy though in case required for future ref!)

Horrible waste of space! You are so much better than him xx I think your children will be so ashamed, disgusted and hurt by his behaviour! Believe me they will and they will never look at him in the same way knowing what he has done to their lovely mum xx believe me my dad did this and I know I didn't!

What a scum bag. Hope telling the OW's DH goes well op