Added myself to dh and ow fb chat - part 2

[MissMarpleMyArse]

My first thread received so much support that I've been advised to make another one due to the number of messages. I knew my dh was up to no good, added myself to their Facebook chat and blew it all up.....

Good luck with the chat, even if he redirects any anger at you, upu lnow you’ve done fuck all wrong and it’s just the shit hitting the fan for him but I think he just wants to hear more of the story as he would have only heard what she has to say.

I would want to know if I were him.

Yes , the message you wrote was eloquent and not aggressive . I don’t think he will be wanting to blame you at all. You done the right thing xxx

Don't shit yourself, I think he just wants to here it from you again verbally. He may have questions he wants to ask or/and give you any info he knows about it all.

Sorry to hear you've found more shit but so glad you're staying strong and refocusing your anger/blame on your DH rather than the OW

He made the vows with you and the subsequent choices EVERY time to betray you - he needs to man up and own this

Make him squirm - he's been devious through choice, you are being strategic

Just wanted to add my voice of support.

You definitely did the right thing and he'll thank you for it in the long run. No one can make a fully composed decision about something unless they've been presented with all the facts.

He has those, and realistically he's probably just calling to find out what other proof you have (the credit card statement).

What he chooses to do with that information is up to him.

It will no doubt get back to your H pdq so brace yourself for the backlash.

And call your mum. Hopefully she'll bring more wine.

He now has all the evidence that he needs. You can say that you wanted to let him know so he has the option to be checked out. Who knows whether either of them have done this before. Remember you have done nothing wrong.

Hope the phone call goes ok.

Good luck xx

Poor sod deserves to know the truth. Neither of you were the ones who were unfaithful and broke their vows. Both of you are the innocent victims of the whole sordid story. I'd want to know, no matter how much it hurt and you've not done it in anger or temper yelling on his doorstep - you've done this in the most humane way possible

I hope it's okay as it can be.
Remember it's not your daily any of this.

Just wanted to pop in and say I hope it goes ok, and to echo what pps have said.
He deserved to know, you’ve done the right thing, and none of this is your fault. Or his.

Hang in there OP!

Gosh I wonder why he's messaging now
Hope it went well

Just had to pour myself a wine. I'm in bits. I answered the phone and immediately starting crying (couldn't help it) and said I'm so sorry. He said not to be sorry and I'd done the right thing. He was sorry he hadn't replied before but it was a lot to take in. She told him it has been going on a max of 6 weeks and was only messaging. He said she has cried, begged and sworn on everyone's life that it wasn't physical. I told him I had noticed dodgy WhatsApp behaviour about 6 or 7 months ago. I said my h also swore it wasn't physical but I had found the credit card bill for the hotel and a meal and I was away over night, and then the location thing I sent him. (Which was 3 bloody months ago) He said she went to a friends for a takeaway and drinks and stayed over a few weeks ago but he is not sure when. He is going to try and look at her phone but she has a passcode so he will need to try and thumbprint it while she is asleep. He will look at the bank statements but from the size of the bills I think my h paid for it all (what a gent) He asked if my h knows I have found this and I said I wanted to tell him first so that my h doesn't warn his wife. He said he will get back to me tomorrow and would be grateful if I don't tell h until he does . He sounds such a lovely man. I've obviously met him in person but never really had a conversation with him. She's an idiot and my husband is an idiot. And I bet they both think they've got away with their watered down version.

Your not telling him to get revenge, your telling him so everyone involved knows everything and so both you and he have all the information to protect your health and to make informed choice about your futures.

Well done, Marple you did so well. Neither of you deserved this. I'm really sorry. I hope he finds the truth on her phone tonight.

Well done OP, all you’ve done is tell the truth and it sounds like her DH is grateful. I feel so sorry for both of you, you didn’t deserve this.

@MissMarpleMyArse you are very brave and the other husband sounds reasonable -sending hugs !

Read this thread and your other this evening OP. You are so strong and I’m in awe of you. I know a lot of people would have just accepted the apology. Not sure what else to say as everyone else has been so supportive already :)

Well done. Now stay strong and big hugs from me

Wow you are still amazing!
That twat does not deserve you in the slightest. Xx

OP
I hope it’s a small relief to you knowing now you did the right thing by informing OW husband.

Completely understand why you sent it to him. He needed to know what he's dealing with.

You are amazing, what a horrible and difficult conversation that must have been for both of you.

I think you done a very brave thing. It makes me wonder though why the H is not just saying to the ow “I need to look at your phone now please” rather then waiting until she sleeps. I know I would. This makes me think that the H is perhaps dominated by the ow so don’t expect her marriage to fall apart, I think he’ll maybe forgive her so brace yourself for that as the outcome. Shitty I know as even I want the ow’s world to start crashing down on her but just be prepared xx