Partner making decision for himself

[Petals23]

Hi all. I'm with my partner now two years, both around late 40s/50. I'd known him a number of years before we got together. Nether of us have been married or any children, live within walking distance of each other, owning our own homes.

A relative of his moved to a new estate one hour away. He has decided to follow suit, making a quick decision to sell up and buy here also, only telling me when he'd seen the house.

Do I have a right to feel upset?

He is very selfish and you relationship will continue in the same way...

He's a user.

Being independent is great but he seems much more into this relative than you which is unusual given we aren't talking about his dc. Be very clear what your boundaries are and what you want from this relationship. If you cannot get what you want then move on.

Yes, he's definitely spending more time with relative than me at the moment. There is no way he'd have bought a house in this area either, only they're there. I'm trying to cool things off a bit - firstly to protect myself emotionally but also because he suits himself quite a lot on when we see each other. I'm finding it hard to end things completely because of all this, but already I'm feeling there's a bit of a distance growing between us.

So he's getting ready to move to his new house soon. I did tell him weeks ago that I felt like a convenience and since then I've only seen him at weekends, he stays with relative during the week. Even so, when he's stayed with me I've bought and cooked dinners, making sure he has cereal he likes for breakfast. A few weekends he said we'll go for lunch and it never happened... I wasn't going to suggest it as I felt he mentioned it, should be his treat for all the food I've given him. I said last night that he must be getting fed up with what I've given him and he can either cook or we'll go for dinner next time on me as we haven't been out in ages, thinking he'd offer to pay.. just said that'd be nice thanks but he's happy to cook also. I have to say he did cook for me before selling his house.

He's also going to be moving into house soon. I said I won't be able to help due to a shoulder injury, which I've had for years and he knows about.

I know some of you will question why I'm still with him, but I am. He does have good points. However, I still don't know what to do. He's going to be fairly wrapped up in the move now, watching money etc.

I think you need to decide what you want and then go from there.
I can not believe that you’ve been with him for two years but yet do not feel comfortable to say ‘oi, I’ve cooked the last x amount of times, it’s your turn’. Do you actually stand up for yourself in real life or expect him to pick up on your hints and suggestions?

Why not just ask him for his contribution to food, rather than making hints about restaurants that he ignores?

Or tell him it's his turn to make lunch/dinner/supper