How often do you speak with your OH/Husbands during the day?

[WhiteRosesAndSunflowers]

I'm a SAHM, but before having children (when both OH and I worked), OH and I used to regularly message and text throughout the course of the day.

Since having DC's, contact is absolutely minimal, though not through lack of me trying! I've tried telling OH that every so often, I'd like a quick 'Hey, how you doing? Are the kids behaving?' type message, nothing over the top or lengthy, just a little hello would do! After we've had these chats about me liking a little more communication throughout the week, he'll make an effort for a few days, then it's right back to not hearing from him again.

I understand his main focus and priority when he's at work, is and should be, his work, so I'm under no illusion that he should be constantly tied to his phone, chatting away to me. But, we could easily go Mon-Fri and I wouldn't hear a peep out of him.
It's particularly frustrating as I know there are several times throughout the day when he's using Instagram, meaning he's not completely run ragged and physically doesn't have the time to stop and check his phone, as he has time to browse social media.

I don't want or expect constant phone calls or long running texts, but I would appreciate him seeing how I'm doing once in a while, particularly as our 2DC's are very young so my days at home with them are often pretty hard going, so a little message from him asking if I'm alright would mean a lot.

When he gets home from work, he's loving and chatty, so I can't complain there, it just literally feels like the moment he leaves the house in the morning, I'm forgotten about and that it doesn't matter if I'm having a good or a bad day.

I've spoken with a few friends about it and they've said their husbands usually tend to phone them on their lunch break, or will message them back in the afternoons when they catch five minutes.

I just wondered if anyone else out there has partners/husbands who literally never contact them and how common it is to not hear from your OH all day/all week? While it does bother me, I've now learned to live with it, but still intrigued to see how many others go through this.

I agree with you OP.

Dh rings me in his lunch break sometimes. Doesn’t bother me if he does or doesn’t. I’ll message him if there’s something important.

Rarely. I wfh he works in an office. When I was a SAHM probably lunch time text. But sometimes nothing. We do of course pick up the phone to each other if we need to talk about something important or if we need to remind each other of stuff. Generally though we catch up post 8pm when kids are in bed!

Not once in 17 years of marriage.

We barely talk to each other in the evenings never mind actually having to ring each other up.

Rarely. Unless I'm in a really boring lecture and need a distraction. DH has never been one for communication for the sake of it, so unless he has a question or can't find something I don't hear from him. He will reply if I text him though.

I guess the problem is that he is like others on here in that it sounds like he would rather not. And you are a little different.

Does he get a long lunch break? I guess it depends on what his work is like. If you know he isn't that busy, has a long lunch, etc, and he isn't replying to your messages then I can see why you're a bit irritated.

I work along side my husband & when we are not together we text/WhatsApp pretty constantly, we always have funny things to say to each other and there is a lot of sexting as well . He's my best friend, I would find it weird if we weren't in constant communication. Sometimes we even text when we are sitting next to each other at wotk, to moan about our noisy work colleagues 🤣

I'm a SAHM, DH will text me pretty much every day. Usually if he's not heard from me by around 10.30/11 he'll drop me a text asking how I am and how DD is and asking what our plans are for the day. Then it'll be sporadic throughout the day with the occasional call/FaceTime at lunch so he can speak to DD

@dirtybadger it's just odd that we always used to message pretty frequently, then DC's came along, I become a SAHM and communication during the day completely haltered. Had he always been this way, it'd be easier to understand, but he hasn't.

I'm pretty sure he gets 45 mins - 1hr lunch break every day, he has around an hour towards the end of his shift when management have gone home and I know he can some times work a little slower then. He also has the commute to and from work via train in which he could send a little message in the morning for me to wake up to - which again, is something he always used to do without fail.
He's often on social media browsing stuff which in itself, isn't the issue. But it is an issue when the reason I'm being told I don't hear from him is because he's too busy. Does that make sense?

Very rarely. Only to share something the other needed to see, or make a decision about which couldn't wait until evening.

I know everyone is different but it does sound needy to me.

I can't imagine my DH monitoring what I do at lunchtime while I'm at work, and I have no idea what he does either.

Never unless its an emergency. Maybe a quick text if we need to tell each other something.

I don’t think op is being needy at all, I work 3 days a week and DH works full time, he gives me a quick ring when he gets there around 6am, he’ll usually manage a 30 second call around 9-10 to see how ds is and possibly a text or 2 during the day as well.he works very long hours and I work one of his days off so we’re chatters and text any chance we get. You should try to explain to him that you’d like a little more contact and maybe a little lonely at home with two very young children

Every other day, oh God no! Seriously, what needs saying that can't be said when he gets home. Things change and children change the dynamic. You sound bored.

Very rarely to be honest when we're both working. But we do respond to each other when we do text/email/call. Maybe once or twice in a working week.

When I was on mat leave I was probably a little more 'needy' and would text or call about non urgent things and he would always respond or answer if he wasn't too busy.

Only if something cannot wait (very rare) or the odd text to say one of us will be home late etc. My husband goes away a lot for work (and I used to) and we just send a text in the morning and at night; he will phone probably every three days or so but if he doesn't I don't worry at all.

Totally depends. Some days a few texts either to sort arrangements for who is doing what after work (I'm on mat leave atm) or just random funny links and other days nothing.

I used to work with someone who phoned his wife every day, even if we were at a client, and finished with "I love you more" < not envy!

I mentioned on my first post that my dp texts me a couple of times a day. He works ft in a pretty demanding job but likes to hear how our day is going every now and then. I'm a SAHM. I bet if I posted just that no one would call him needy. Or suggest that he's bored.

@WhiteRosesAndSunflowers I do totally get what you are saying... it really does only take a few seconds. And if he knows that a text or something will help you get through a long/tedious/busy or whatever afternoon then he should want to text you.
DP and myself are constant texters so If he stopped for some reason I would feel same as you.

Could you send him something a bit flirty maybe??!! Tell him what you fancy doing later really depends on what your relationship is like I guess.

Almost every day we don't call/message during the day. Only if there's something urgent that can't wait.

Most week days we don't see each other in the morning/evening either, barring a short "hi, everything ok?" due to working hours/child care etc.

We speak more at the weekends

Usually just to phone to say he is leaving to come home (but it doesn't always mean he is if he is nabbed by someone to chat on the way out!)
(not a 9 to 5 job)

Usually nothing more than a quick call or text when on the way home. Otherwise only if urgent. I'm baffled by all these people texting and calling during the day - don't they have work to do - at work?!

I don't feel the need to be in constant contact but I'm old enough to remember when we didn't all have mobiles.

Not too often. I ring on my way way home from work every day and we have a flash-chat. We sometimes exchange the odd text if there's a particular reason for it.

Almost never. Literally can go a whole week without texting him once whilst I'm at work.

Pretty often. Today was fairly typical...we had a quick chat this morning (about one of the DDs), he messaged me to ask how I was this afternoon, I messaged him a reminder a few hours later, then he sent me a sweet message a few minutes ago.

He is out of the house for 12 hours when he's at work and likes to know how my day is. I'm a SAHM and pregnant.

Virtually never, though will usually tell the other when leaving work.