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Constructive critique of a man's dating profile please.

462 replies

LondonDecorator · 06/09/2018 23:34

If it helps I'm 43.
I've been told by my ex-partner (we're still friends) to find out what women would like to see in a dating profile. We've been separated for two years but are very communicative and co-operative for the children because we both think they come first. Parents at war with each other are not acting in their kids best interests we believe that children are blessings not weapons.

I can kind of understand why women would be put off or threatened by that but having been at war with the children used as weapons by my ex-wife before this is by far the better way for us as parents to conduct ourselves.

So I'm looking for advice because honesty doesn't seem to be getting me anywhere. I've pasted my profile below and cannot stress enough that I'm not looking for a hook up here which is why I've left out the name of the site I'm on.

Feel free to edit or comment. I am looking for constructive criticism and advice not petty childish insults and abuse which seems to be the way the internet is, present company accepted. Hopefully I'm not committing romantic suicide here.

Well here goes:
*Welcome to the most honest profile you'll ever read!

I prefer messages to likes but if we have a mutual like I'll message you.

So here goes me....
I am sociable outgoing man with many varied interests who values honesty, loyalty, passion, affection and intelligence in a woman.

If you like Chas n Dave and you want to be my London Girl read on.

I'm self employed as a Decorator/ Builder. Theatre as opposed to cinema mostly, I like music, (Blues, Jazz, Rock, Metal & Classical) , dancing, food, cooking, pubs, beer, gigs, books, vintage writing instruments (fountain pens), writing, wine, cycling, museums, galleries, camping, and deep sea fishing. I also like to sing at open mic nights and occasionally Karaoke.

I'm looking for a lady who is affectionate, broadminded, passionate/ adventurous, submissive but my equal too, warmhearted, into country walks, nature plus days by the Seaside as well as all of the above who doesn't mind letting her man take the lead. A woman who considers reading together to be a romantic activity because reading is really important. Gsoh+++

A supportive sexually compatible lover and long term or life partner who is not only good for my heart but also for my soul but in the meantime let's have some fun whilst we find out if we're compatible.

Also you must like children because mine will always come first for me as yours should for you.

I plan to go travelling around Europe next year. Maybe we could both go together.

You won't change me so don't try to just love me for who I am and I'll evolve at my own pace with you.

I like dogs and dogs like me but don't have one only because I have a weird sick reflex to * from childhood, many boots have been thrown out.
I have had cats before though and would happily have one again cats are cool.

I like Marmite, Steak, Italian, Thai, Chinese, Indian, Mexican and Nando's. I'm also thinking of becoming a vegetarian except for the fish of course.

Our first meeting will be for drinks somewhere along the river it runs right through London so it's convenient for everyone. The first date will be different, a bit more off the wall, more interesting.

I'd also like to date a woman who has her own eyebrows if possible not someone who shaves them all off only to draw them back on again. I don't get it I never will.
Also those cheap tacky big hoop earrings are a massive turnoff for me.

Finally I am totally non PC and not permanently offended .*

OP posts:
LoisWilkerson1 · 07/09/2018 10:18

I think he might actually be genuine!Shock

redfairy · 07/09/2018 10:18

I'd worry I'd end up under a patio

LadyLapsang · 07/09/2018 10:18

As someone married for many decades, this has drawn back the curtain on another world. The profile taken together with the lyrics from the helpful cultural reference, including such gems as - They'll darn your socks and wash and mend - They don't create when you come home late and you are crawling up the passage floor - is perfect as it is - a warning. Formerbabe, the lyrics also include a line about not needing make up. First I shuddered and then I laughed, to quote Marie in When Harry Met Sally, "Tell me I'll never have to be out there again."

Whisky2014 · 07/09/2018 10:20

That really is so off putting. He sounds of low intellect tbh. Next!

tierraJ · 07/09/2018 10:21

I think the whole thing is too long, I wouldn't be bothered to read it all.

Personally I just write a brief bit about my interests & hope a man will read it & think we might or not have something in common, like my photos & message me if he wishes.

Tbh the photos are as important as what a man writes - nice clear current shots.

If he has kids he should just say "I have 2 kids".

No daft jokey comments in there please.

inmyfeelings · 07/09/2018 10:23

Why are we helping this man to make himself look more acceptable ? OP please keep your profile as it is so women online can see you as you wish to present yourself.
HTH.

tierraJ · 07/09/2018 10:24

The 'submissive' thing would definitely put me off also non-pc as it could mean you may be rude to my foreign friends

JustLurk1ng · 07/09/2018 10:24

If this post is an effort to identify the one in a million woman who are actually turned on by him and his needs... he's identified at least one candidate to PM

😂😂😂

SophoclesTheFox · 07/09/2018 10:25

utterly brilliant.

I read it muttering "no...no...perve...bully...worryingly self important...no...HELL NO...no SoH...controlling...OH MY GOD RACIST".

Hope this helps, OP - you like honesty, eh?!

mummmy2017 · 07/09/2018 10:27

Omg.

If you write what the heck are you like in the flesh...

You have major issues. Get some help...

Oh and look in the mirror. The person there may love you

viques · 07/09/2018 10:30

you missed out the parts where you like yoga, make your own clothes, heal the sick with your magic powers and look like Robert Redford in his glory days.

Let's face it dear, if even half of what you have written is true you wouldn't be looking on dating sites for women (not ladies) who like discreet earrings.

BlancheM · 07/09/2018 10:32

I've only read the opening 4 paragraphs, not the profile but I can already tell you:

1.) You are talking to grown women here, not reprimanding a bunch of children.

2.) Normal women are not threatened by a normal co-parenting relationship.

3.) You're not the prize you think you are.

ChuChuUa · 07/09/2018 10:33

Fucking hell. I agree with the PPs who say don't change it so women can see what you're like.

bsbabas · 07/09/2018 10:34

The breath taking entitlement !!!!!!

thatawkwardsilence · 07/09/2018 10:35

I think this is the problem is online dating it's too shopping list. When you meet someone in real life at a bar and get talking you might look at their hoop earrings and think they aren't my favourite, but you have a great chat and you never comment on the earrings.

Your profile reads like your a Dictator---- that would be controlling.

Not many women like fishing. So prob best to say- I have my hobbies I enjoy on my own, but I have lots of spare time spend with someone sharing the thing you enjoy too.

To meet for a coffee is much less sexually loaded than a night at a bar getting drunk.

Don't dictate what is important to other people.

I personally think you need to ask yourself why your relationship with your ex didn't work? Was it control issues ? Whatever reason working on being a bit for relaxed and less dominate might be key before you start dating.

eelbecomingforyou · 07/09/2018 10:36

Here are the bts that would put me off:

I'm looking for a lady who is broadminded, passionate/ adventurous, submissive but my equal too... who doesn't mind letting her man take the lead. - creepy. Submissive???

Also you must like children because mine will always come first for me as yours should for you. -you'll always come last

You won't change me so don't try to - inflexible, stubborn

Our first meeting will be for drinks somewhere along the river it runs right through London so it's convenient for everyone. - you're in charge, you set the rules, inflexible, stubborn - offputting

Finally I am totally non PC and not permanently offended - so you're likely to be racist, sexist, offensive...

overnightangel · 07/09/2018 10:37

If you want to edit it I’d advise not writing any words just post this picture

Constructive critique of a man's dating profile please.
JustLurk1ng · 07/09/2018 10:37

Think this is a wind up... the exact same post was posted on netmums too

bsbabas · 07/09/2018 10:38

Oh god imagine the poor thing that has such bad self esteem she puts up with that crap.

figelnarage · 07/09/2018 10:52

Strange it can be found on netmums when you google it but no dating sites come up.

Storm4star · 07/09/2018 11:10

Hahaha, just read the netmums post and I love where the netmums user told the MN user they were a "bit harsh" Grin But they then say "scrap the whole profile" themselves! I wish OP would come back and tell us what he thinks of our advice! I like a good laugh.

Teddy1970 · 07/09/2018 11:12

Submissive? Hmm

AynRandTheObjectivist · 07/09/2018 11:15

I can actually see what you are trying to do.

I can also see that you are failing spectacularly.

tccat · 07/09/2018 11:15

I like the submissive thing, but the rest is complete and utter shite

ravenmum · 07/09/2018 11:16

I think it's perfect. You won't be flooded with responses but it tells readers everything they need to know to decide whether they want to date you or not.

The only thing I'd question is whether the whole thing is an expression of your GSOH or whether you should leave out the part about having a GSOH.