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Constructive critique of a man's dating profile please.

462 replies

LondonDecorator · 06/09/2018 23:34

If it helps I'm 43.
I've been told by my ex-partner (we're still friends) to find out what women would like to see in a dating profile. We've been separated for two years but are very communicative and co-operative for the children because we both think they come first. Parents at war with each other are not acting in their kids best interests we believe that children are blessings not weapons.

I can kind of understand why women would be put off or threatened by that but having been at war with the children used as weapons by my ex-wife before this is by far the better way for us as parents to conduct ourselves.

So I'm looking for advice because honesty doesn't seem to be getting me anywhere. I've pasted my profile below and cannot stress enough that I'm not looking for a hook up here which is why I've left out the name of the site I'm on.

Feel free to edit or comment. I am looking for constructive criticism and advice not petty childish insults and abuse which seems to be the way the internet is, present company accepted. Hopefully I'm not committing romantic suicide here.

Well here goes:
*Welcome to the most honest profile you'll ever read!

I prefer messages to likes but if we have a mutual like I'll message you.

So here goes me....
I am sociable outgoing man with many varied interests who values honesty, loyalty, passion, affection and intelligence in a woman.

If you like Chas n Dave and you want to be my London Girl read on.

I'm self employed as a Decorator/ Builder. Theatre as opposed to cinema mostly, I like music, (Blues, Jazz, Rock, Metal & Classical) , dancing, food, cooking, pubs, beer, gigs, books, vintage writing instruments (fountain pens), writing, wine, cycling, museums, galleries, camping, and deep sea fishing. I also like to sing at open mic nights and occasionally Karaoke.

I'm looking for a lady who is affectionate, broadminded, passionate/ adventurous, submissive but my equal too, warmhearted, into country walks, nature plus days by the Seaside as well as all of the above who doesn't mind letting her man take the lead. A woman who considers reading together to be a romantic activity because reading is really important. Gsoh+++

A supportive sexually compatible lover and long term or life partner who is not only good for my heart but also for my soul but in the meantime let's have some fun whilst we find out if we're compatible.

Also you must like children because mine will always come first for me as yours should for you.

I plan to go travelling around Europe next year. Maybe we could both go together.

You won't change me so don't try to just love me for who I am and I'll evolve at my own pace with you.

I like dogs and dogs like me but don't have one only because I have a weird sick reflex to * from childhood, many boots have been thrown out.
I have had cats before though and would happily have one again cats are cool.

I like Marmite, Steak, Italian, Thai, Chinese, Indian, Mexican and Nando's. I'm also thinking of becoming a vegetarian except for the fish of course.

Our first meeting will be for drinks somewhere along the river it runs right through London so it's convenient for everyone. The first date will be different, a bit more off the wall, more interesting.

I'd also like to date a woman who has her own eyebrows if possible not someone who shaves them all off only to draw them back on again. I don't get it I never will.
Also those cheap tacky big hoop earrings are a massive turnoff for me.

Finally I am totally non PC and not permanently offended .*

OP posts:
AynRandTheObjectivist · 07/09/2018 11:17

I am a submissive (a real life one) and I know from this exactly what type of "Dom" you are.

Bettysnoop · 07/09/2018 11:20

OP I've done the online dating thing.

Long winded essay type profiles come across as desperate to me, it should be a lot shorter!

ravenmum · 07/09/2018 11:21

What type is he then?

motherlondon · 07/09/2018 11:26

'My children always come first' but I'm fucking of travelling around Europe next year

rainingcatsanddog · 07/09/2018 11:26

What does "submissive but my equal" mean? Someone who will fight back when he tries to have sex with them or someone submissive but earns lots of money?

rainingcatsanddog · 07/09/2018 11:33

What site is this on OP? I think you need to find a specialist BDSM site.

Cheddarsmedders · 07/09/2018 11:39

Long. BORING. Arrogant. Creepy. Rude.

Bloodylucky · 07/09/2018 11:41

He’s a Domly Dom rubbing one out in the bedroom. Most likely. Or else he’s just an arrogant twat who’s a bully all about the capital letters small letters third person. In my experience.

TheEmmaDilemma · 07/09/2018 11:52

@Buntyll

Netmums are far nicer than us and even they don't like you.

BAHAHA

AynRandTheObjectivist · 07/09/2018 11:54

What type is he then?

The kind who thinks it really is as simple as telling a woman what to do.

tccat · 07/09/2018 11:57

Ayn, I would agree with that, bit of a bully, watched 50 shades and bought himself a couple of cable ties and thinks he's a Dom

PookieDo · 07/09/2018 11:57

There is not even a whisper of a GSOH in this profile so unlikely to find one of us women who are actually funny intelligent and off the wall as it’s so so so dull

Agree with classics!

AynRandTheObjectivist · 07/09/2018 11:59

Yeah. And Christian Grey wasn't even a Dom, he was a switch. And a twat.

BlancheM · 07/09/2018 12:10

Netmums don't even like you

They don't like him, they love him!
Poor menz getting a hard time from the horrible laydeez

AynRandTheObjectivist · 07/09/2018 12:17

I should add, I don't think he sounds like a bully. I just don't think he sounds like he has the sense of nuance and back-and-forth, playing off his partner's hooks and cues while asserting himself, that are required for an actual Dom.

pudding21 · 07/09/2018 12:20

OP you are getting a harsh rap here.

All totally justified. Errrrggghhh my ovaries just shrivelled up. Seriously, less is more sometimes. Let the person discover who you are, this profile actually makes me want to vom. Even if you looked like Idris Elba or Tom Hardy, I'd swipe left.

Bloodylucky · 07/09/2018 12:22

and a twat

😂😂😂

ravenmum · 07/09/2018 12:28

The kind who thinks it really is as simple as telling a woman what to do.
I see, thanks.

Well, like the spelling and grammar mistakes, it's better if these little details stay in, to paint an honest picture. We don't want a Cyrano de Bergerac situation here...

Koalablue · 07/09/2018 12:29

Who is Chas and Dave and whats a London girl?

Claw001 · 07/09/2018 12:33

Did the OP ever come back?

I like Chas & Dave, ruined now!

Claw001 · 07/09/2018 12:35

m.youtube.com/watch?v=Hkt8E2Ul-Xw

Chas and Dave....ain’t no pleasing you, more apt!

MarthasGinYard · 07/09/2018 12:38

In the words of Chas n Dave

Tinkling the old ivories of that trusty old Joanna

'Oh Darlin, there aint no pleasin' you'

Storm4star · 07/09/2018 12:38

@LondonDecorator

Have you ghosted us? Grin

MarthasGinYard · 07/09/2018 12:38

Cross post Blush

But yours is better

MarthasGinYard · 07/09/2018 12:40

Op are you not coming back?

Have you gone

'Dooownn to Margate'