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Relationships

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Constructive critique of a man's dating profile please.

462 replies

LondonDecorator · 06/09/2018 23:34

If it helps I'm 43.
I've been told by my ex-partner (we're still friends) to find out what women would like to see in a dating profile. We've been separated for two years but are very communicative and co-operative for the children because we both think they come first. Parents at war with each other are not acting in their kids best interests we believe that children are blessings not weapons.

I can kind of understand why women would be put off or threatened by that but having been at war with the children used as weapons by my ex-wife before this is by far the better way for us as parents to conduct ourselves.

So I'm looking for advice because honesty doesn't seem to be getting me anywhere. I've pasted my profile below and cannot stress enough that I'm not looking for a hook up here which is why I've left out the name of the site I'm on.

Feel free to edit or comment. I am looking for constructive criticism and advice not petty childish insults and abuse which seems to be the way the internet is, present company accepted. Hopefully I'm not committing romantic suicide here.

Well here goes:
*Welcome to the most honest profile you'll ever read!

I prefer messages to likes but if we have a mutual like I'll message you.

So here goes me....
I am sociable outgoing man with many varied interests who values honesty, loyalty, passion, affection and intelligence in a woman.

If you like Chas n Dave and you want to be my London Girl read on.

I'm self employed as a Decorator/ Builder. Theatre as opposed to cinema mostly, I like music, (Blues, Jazz, Rock, Metal & Classical) , dancing, food, cooking, pubs, beer, gigs, books, vintage writing instruments (fountain pens), writing, wine, cycling, museums, galleries, camping, and deep sea fishing. I also like to sing at open mic nights and occasionally Karaoke.

I'm looking for a lady who is affectionate, broadminded, passionate/ adventurous, submissive but my equal too, warmhearted, into country walks, nature plus days by the Seaside as well as all of the above who doesn't mind letting her man take the lead. A woman who considers reading together to be a romantic activity because reading is really important. Gsoh+++

A supportive sexually compatible lover and long term or life partner who is not only good for my heart but also for my soul but in the meantime let's have some fun whilst we find out if we're compatible.

Also you must like children because mine will always come first for me as yours should for you.

I plan to go travelling around Europe next year. Maybe we could both go together.

You won't change me so don't try to just love me for who I am and I'll evolve at my own pace with you.

I like dogs and dogs like me but don't have one only because I have a weird sick reflex to * from childhood, many boots have been thrown out.
I have had cats before though and would happily have one again cats are cool.

I like Marmite, Steak, Italian, Thai, Chinese, Indian, Mexican and Nando's. I'm also thinking of becoming a vegetarian except for the fish of course.

Our first meeting will be for drinks somewhere along the river it runs right through London so it's convenient for everyone. The first date will be different, a bit more off the wall, more interesting.

I'd also like to date a woman who has her own eyebrows if possible not someone who shaves them all off only to draw them back on again. I don't get it I never will.
Also those cheap tacky big hoop earrings are a massive turnoff for me.

Finally I am totally non PC and not permanently offended .*

OP posts:
overnightangel · 07/09/2018 20:57

Massive creep

Constructive critique of a man's dating profile please.
overnightangel · 07/09/2018 20:57

Sorry @Baumederose cross post!

Baumederose · 07/09/2018 20:58
Grin
Baumederose · 07/09/2018 20:59

Look out for the next instalment on Sunday one presumes

Claw001 · 07/09/2018 20:59

Oh dear so women are going to help him to figure out what women want to hear to put on a dating profile!

Dljlr · 07/09/2018 21:01

Change all the words, and when you have new ones, punctuate them better.

Grin
SuperSkyRocketing · 07/09/2018 21:03

I despair

PeppermintPasty · 07/09/2018 21:04

Hahaha I love this place 👌

Sarahandduck18 · 07/09/2018 21:05

I see he went back to the netmums thread and threw his toys out of his pram about us.

Apparently he’s a victim of domestic abuse so we should all be kind to him.

KatieScarlett · 07/09/2018 21:05

Before you even dream about disappointing another woman, get some extensive therapy for your issues mate.

LilQueenie · 07/09/2018 21:06

submissive. You are a total prat. There is the honesty you wanted. I don't blame your ex wife, I too would want to shield kids from you.

Claw001 · 07/09/2018 21:08

Lol it’s all kicking off over on the NM’s thread. They have taken sides! Grin I bet he is wanking into his egg stained vest over it!

thatwouldbeanecumenicalmatter · 07/09/2018 21:09

Claw001 sadly yes, women helping a man to deceive other women- yay the sisterhood. Hopefully those who get taken in with his profile will hopefully suss him out when they start messaging and not have their time wasted any further.

I’d love to hear the ex wife’s side of the story. How he describes his past relationship with his ex and how he writes about himself doesn’t marry up for me.

overnightangel · 07/09/2018 21:09

@Claw001
“Egg stained vest” 😂😂

LuckyDiamond · 07/09/2018 21:11

I love the mansplaining of “vintage writing instruments”.

You sound like a top bloke. The laydeez’ knickers must just melt away in your vicinity.

Bwahahaha

thatwouldbeanecumenicalmatter · 07/09/2018 21:12

But then again I watched Girl On A Train last night so I may be more suspicious than usual about how some people can gaslight and flip the story’s to suit their agenda.

Claw001 · 07/09/2018 21:16

“Oh dear the dark side, no wonder you deleted your profile, they are like vultures”

What NM’s are saying about us!! 😂

SuperSkyRocketing · 07/09/2018 21:18

I do hope the OP comes back, he can call off the search, I've found his perfect woman!

AsleepAllDay · 07/09/2018 21:27

Submissive Confused

OP do you eat Marmite and steak together?

Bless...

EspressoButler · 07/09/2018 21:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Claw001 · 07/09/2018 21:28

thatwould I despair! I’m hoping it’s not real. Surely it can’t be? I’m surprised women are taking it seriously and actually helping him to write a profile, hiding his views!

workinprogressmum · 07/09/2018 21:29

Leave it as it is and let all of the women reading it discover who you really are! No use wasting time on someone who has such a derogatory view on women. You'd be saving that time for them!

Notmorewashing · 07/09/2018 21:30

OMG vomit, being besties with the ex too is way cringe

Oddcat · 07/09/2018 21:34

I would keep it just as it is because it tells women exactly who you are and therefore they can avoid you .

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