Oh god, all of these.
The ones I avoided like the plague though, were the ones who banged on about "my kids are my world" and "if there's only 3 life jackets, you'd better be a good swimmer LOL" Yeah, just what every woman wants to hear, you'll leave her to die in an emergency situation!
Also avoided the "here I am, back on here again" ones - for new people on the site who may not have seen you before, don't advertise that nobody else wants you!
I had one guy who decided to critique my profile, tell me which photos I should put first etc, completely unsolicited. Errr thanks!
And another who had obviously been told once that he looked like Daniel Craig, so he had the obligatory Tux photo and referenced his look-i-likey status several times throughout our brief chat. Alright mate, you're blond and not very good looking, that's about all you have in common with DC!
I was chatting to one guy whose age came up as 44 but it turned out he was 34. He insisted it was a mistake, but he'd left it as he liked older women. Having friended me on FB I see now that he has hundreds of friends, many of whom are older women who all fawn over his holiday pics! Glad I didn't take that one any further, but he was super cute!
DP used the line about his friend telling him to give OLD a go because he wasn't going to have women beating down his door. He basically hooked my in with his pretty eyes and saying he used to be a chef didn't mention that he never bloody washed up after cooking though, the bastard