Online profile cliches - share!

[Goldilocks3Bears]

Other than the many many many pictures of men in cycling gear and holding fish, some of the profile cliches are just insane 😂

“Don’t take life too seriously” - ok, this is a rehearsal then?!

“Looking for a partner in crime” - what does that even mean?

“School of life” - unless you’re Oprah, nope.

When I was doing OLD - the fish pictures. So you're holding a dead, slimy creature - wow, sexy?

Things I don't like to see on female profiles:

SnapChat selfies

Bottomless pics

"Ask me.."

"Will fill this in later.."

"On day release"

"Looking for a relationship"

Also why is it that the majority of profiles I see they are always “aspiring” to be something like aspiring golfer , aspiring boxer (they done one charity white collar event and now think they’re the next Mayweather) , “aspiring forex trader”...so in a nutshell they have a stock share app on their iphone OR they’re an “entrepreneur “ which usually equates to selling herbal life or forever fucking living . Get real jobs people and actually BE something rather than “aspire “

Haha great post Fuckit! Those blokes who wear sunglasses are 'aspiring Bono's'

@Benjaminbuttonschild 😂😂 indeed!

I really hate any profiles that say

‘My children are my world’ and the photo is usually including the children

I hate all the gym photos and cars but also all the travelling, partner in crime and also ‘big spoon looking for a little spoon’

Men who take selfies at the worst closest angle then think it will be attractive to have an intense close up of their nose hair

Group shots. Always a no. I don’t know which one you are and CBA to look

I met up with an old (make) friend recently and he was scrolling through his online Tinder to show me stuff he hated.

He said the things that put him off most are the Snapchat selfies where the eyes are huge, bunny ears and skin as smooth as a peach.

Also, the inspirational memes. Things like .....

"You spend all your time taking care of everyone else, but who takes care of you?"

Or

"Sometimes the hardest thing to do is walk away"

Etc etc

@Beelin I like cosy nights in is that not allowed?

I'm crying laughing at some of these. I'm not back in to the dating scene yet but it sounds like it's a mine field

Male not make.

Sometimes I do wind them up. I messaged one guy who said he wanted a kinky woman and sent him a photo of my curly hair

He wasn’t impressed

So many selfies of guys at work. Amusing are they trying to prove they have a job?

I found this gem in 3 seconds of logging in

Bloody 50 shades of grey has a fucking lot to answer for , like 8 out of 10 messages will be about how they’re into “kink” and mr grey has nothing on them. Please just do one and take your fantasies of a “pleasure room” with you

@PookieDo lol , how he has put the height at the end of that ! 😂 so random

I wish I could post it but it would be mean but a profile pic of a guy holding a massive fucking owl in his living room has made my day

This one is a turn on

ITS NOT A CV MATE

Clean driving licence 😂. Brilliant !

To be fair I’m impresesed by the owl, it beats a dead fish or their 5 year old niece

From my OLD days women’s profiles often had:

“Looking for my Mr Darcy”

“Love cosy nights in on the sofa with a bottle of wine and a good DVD”

“I like the finer things in life”

“Sorry guys but I only date men who are over 6ft / own hair / went to uni / works in city”

“My friends think I am crazy”

“Hi, if you want to know more message me”

“Looking for partner in crime”

“My kids mean the world to me”

Pookie - Owlman actually sounds interesting! At least it not a gym/topless/bathroom pic or holiday snap in a pool.

The ones where the solitary photo can can only be assumed to be a criminal mugshot

The ones where the profile picture looks like they're looking at their own shame faced reflection in the monitor post porn wank

The ones who rant about women and offer you the chance to prove to them that you are different from the other 'nutters'

The ones who can't be arsed and can be summed up with a mere, 'any questions just ask' WOW WOW WOW

The ones who are strangely paranoid and refuse to believe your photos are actually you

The ones who use their kids in photos and as conversation starters are the worst though.

I was only signed up to a dating site for about a month before I decided I was happily single. There are some very strange individuals out there 😂

CV guy really needs to punctuate. My mind read "Never married only little people". So you married giants then?

Spot on Blanche

The ones with the long lists sometimes paragraphs about what they don't like in a woman, I find those ones scary.

There was one that stood out, paragraph after paragraph about what he didn't want with a few sentences about what he did want. He seemed so angry. Also mentioned he'd been single for 9 years, the whole thing was passive aggressive, so much contempt for women in general.

He said no single mums (with a long paragraph explaining why single mums were a no go for to him) he edited it and deleted that part before messaging me, lucky me 🙄

Pangalactic - yy women can be just as clichéd. Re the red wine, years ago a friend signed up to Guardian soulmates but it being the guardian they put a typo in her ad. She'd said she liked "vats of red wine" but they put "I like good food with that's of red wine" which of course makes no sense. She was raging.

If you don't look like your pictures you're buying the drinks until you do! Grim as fuck that one, seen it on that many profiles.

I actually like that because so many people use such old photos of themselves