Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Had an argument, DD won't talk to me.

113 replies

ddproblems38 · 28/08/2018 18:08

DD (24) and I had an argument over the phone a few days ago. I exchanged a few choice words with her and as a result she's now blocked my number and her father's number which I think is a bit extreme. Angry I've been texting her friends but she must have told them something, because all of them are ignoring me. Feeling v frustrated, what can I do??

OP posts:
HollowTalk · 28/08/2018 18:09

What was the argument about? Why has she blocked her dad as well?

JassyRadlett · 28/08/2018 18:10

Nothing. She’s an adult. Give her space.

WomanWithAltitude · 28/08/2018 18:10

Why have you been texting her friends?
If you want to reconcile, why not send a heartfelt written letter apologising (if an apology is appropriate)?

Her friends have nothing to do with this.

flyingsaucersherbet · 28/08/2018 18:10

Stop texting her friends! She’s a grown up - if you really want To get in touch write her a letter and give her some space!

Urbanbeetler · 28/08/2018 18:11

She is an adult - give her space to think about things and use the time to reflect on how you might have handled things differently maybe?

flyingsaucersherbet · 28/08/2018 18:11

Cross posted :)

Seniorschoolmum · 28/08/2018 18:11

Leave her alone, let things cool off.

WomanWithAltitude · 28/08/2018 18:11

Being totally frank, the fact that you are contacting her friends gives an indication of why she has blocked you. That's a very intrusive thing to do.

rainingcatsanddog · 28/08/2018 18:13

I think it's unfair to try and drag her friends into your argument. Give her space- you've almost certainly pissed her off more by trying to contact her via friends.

HollowTalk · 28/08/2018 18:13

I think you should only be texting her friends if you're worried she might harm herself. If you're just worried she's upset, then you should stand back a bit.

ClemDanfango · 28/08/2018 18:13

Stop texting her friends! She’s 24 not 14, you’re coming across as one of those overbearing batshit mum types, no wonder they’re ignoring you.
Leave her to cool off for a few days.

MrsFrankDrebin · 28/08/2018 18:13

Flipping heck - I've got a similar aged DC who lives at home after university, but I don't have any of their friends' numbers! And even if I did I wouldn't be chasing them through friends! Shock

YeTalkShiteHen · 28/08/2018 18:16

It depends how “choice” the words were tbh, and also how she feels after it.

What might seem like a massive overreaction to you may be self preservation from her.

Or maybe it’s a strop.

Do you often fall out like that?

hammeringinmyhead · 28/08/2018 18:16

Er - nothing? She is an adult. She will talk to you when she wants to.

YeTalkShiteHen · 28/08/2018 18:17

I just realised you’ve been texting her friends, why would you do that? That’s putting them and your DD in a really horrible situation.

NotTakenUsername · 28/08/2018 18:18

Shock at texting a 24yo friends. What did you say, dare I ask?

ShapelyBingoWing · 28/08/2018 18:19

I'd be fucking livid if my mother started texting my friends because we'd had a falling out. Why on earth did you think that was a good idea!? You don't sort things out by airing her dirty laundry all over her social circle.

YeTalkShiteHen · 28/08/2018 18:23

Not a parent, but the same idea. My friend’s partner and friend were arguing the other day and he tried to ask what I thought and include me.

Cue a hard stare and a firm “no, don’t drag me into your shit.”

If I were your DDs friend, the response would be the same.

Original poster
ddproblems38 · 28/08/2018 18:31

We argued because she doesn’t want to come to a family event I wanted her to go to. I feel like she never puts us first.

OP posts:
Original poster
ddproblems38 · 28/08/2018 18:32

She’s blocked me on everything, phone, emails, social media.

OP posts:
WomanWithAltitude · 28/08/2018 18:33

I don't think she's obliged to put you first. She's an adult living her own life.

YeTalkShiteHen · 28/08/2018 18:33

Why didn’t she want to go? Did you listen to her reasons?

WomanWithAltitude · 28/08/2018 18:34

Then back off. She's blocked you because she doesn't want to hear from you.

If you are desperate to reconcile, write a letter.

Do not contact her friends.

ToothTrauma · 28/08/2018 18:34

She’s a grown up. She doesn’t have to speak to you if she doesn’t want to. Your texting of her friends and the fact that she has felt the need to block you on every platform makes it seem as though you have real issues with boundaries. Back off.

premiertav · 28/08/2018 18:35

the fact that you are contacting her friends gives an indication of why she has blocked you. That's a very intrusive thing to do.

Added to

We argued because she doesn’t want to come to a family event I wanted her to go to. I feel like she never puts us first.

Is quite telling. Leave her and her friends alone. At 24 years old she is allowed to say no. The ‘she never puts us first’ bit sounds a bit juvenile.