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Relationships

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Original poster

Had an argument, DD won't talk to me.

113 replies

ddproblems38 · 28/08/2018 18:08

DD (24) and I had an argument over the phone a few days ago. I exchanged a few choice words with her and as a result she's now blocked my number and her father's number which I think is a bit extreme. I've been texting her friends but she must have told them something, because all of them are ignoring me. Feeling v frustrated, what can I do??

OP posts:

PolkaDoting · 28/08/2018 19:32

Give her some space

premiertav · 28/08/2018 19:32

but we’ve never got on well and her selfishness is irritating.

It sounds like she just needs you to back the fuck off. Have you always be so intense and twisted things to always be about 'poor you' when, in actual fact, your DD probably just wants a normal life?

AnneLovesGilbert · 28/08/2018 19:33

Jeez OP, take a hint. She hasn’t given you her address and she doesn’t want to talk to you.

Before you try and escalate things even further, take a step back and think about why this is. What it is you feel you add to her life. Why she would be so upset with you she’s cut you off.

feathermucker · 28/08/2018 19:36

Back the fuck off.

My mother used to behave like this. Damn nearly killed our relationship.

The fact she's blocked you means she needs space. Give it to her. There's a reason she hasn't given you her address.

Put her first; respect her feelings.

AynRandTheObjectivist · 28/08/2018 19:42

Admittedly I called her some things I shouldn’t have, but we’ve never got on well and her selfishness is irritating.

Precisely what do you think she owes you?

Branleuse · 28/08/2018 19:42

Nothing you can do. Sounds like you fucked up one time too many

Maybugger · 28/08/2018 19:45

....never got on well and her selfishness is irritating......
Right.
I don't blame her in the slightest for going NC, I'd have detached from you long ago if that's what you think of her!
You don't appear to have any respect for her. She's an adult and fully entitled to make decisions without you being abusive OP.
Back off or lose her forever.

ifoundthebread · 28/08/2018 19:48

You don't know her exact address? Does that mean you physically don't know where she lives or just don't know the address. If you don't actually know where she lives and that's how you go on every time yous have a disagreement, I'm not surprised shes blocked you. Id run a mile if my mother went on like that

Dorydefender2014 · 28/08/2018 19:59

My mother is like you. Selfish, controlling, thinks she has a right to my life and my children. I had hell as a child and growing up. She tells everyone what a witch I am but it’s becuse I don’t pander to her ways and wants. I am 40 now but she still treats me like a child. I have just cut her off as she has tried to interfere with my pregnancy, telling people that I would rather they not have known then trying to lie about it. She’s been caught out. It’s not your place to dictate how your daughter chooses to live her life. I agree with everyone else here that you need to back off. Fancy saying you have never got on, I wonder why eh?

OrcinusOrca · 28/08/2018 20:10

My mum wouldn't have a clue what my friend's numbers were to contact them...your DD is 24! Leave her be.

ohdeardeardear · 28/08/2018 20:11

You sound just like my mother. Controlling, manipulative, throws her toys out of her pram. Good on your daughter for blocking you. Why should she put you first? She's 24 and doesn't love at home, she can live her life as she pleases. Leave her alone. And absolutely shame on you for calling her names. Despicable behaviour.

sunstarsmoon · 28/08/2018 20:19

Haha I love that your daughter hasn't told you where she lives! You sound over bearing no wonder she has blocked you! She is an adult leave her alone and hopefully maybe she might get back in contact with you one day!

Or is this a troll?

kalinkafoxtrot45 · 28/08/2018 20:25

I’d love to hear your DD’s side of this. Give her some space, OP, you sound suffocating. Your daughter is an adult now and if you want to have any future relationship with her, you will need to adjust your expectations.

PlateOfBiscuits · 28/08/2018 20:29

’I don't know her exact address as she refuses to tell me what it is’

Yeah... my dad doesn’t know my address either. For a very good reason.

spiderplantsalad · 28/08/2018 20:33

I don't know her exact address as she refuses to tell me what it is (another point of contention between us).

You sound like a complete nightmare with severe boundary issues. I'm not surprised she won't tell you where she lives. How did you manage to get her friends numbers? Were they freely given to you by the friends in question?

ToothTrauma · 28/08/2018 20:36

What is the matter with you?

Look, she’s obviously gone NC with you and for good reason. You sound like an unmitigated nightmare. Leave her alone. At least respect this.

TheEmmaDilemma · 28/08/2018 20:38

You called her some choice names because she wasn't obeying your wishes
You over reached your boundries by contacting you ADULT daughters friends.
She doesn't let you have her address. Looking at 1 and 2 are you surprised?

Fairylea · 28/08/2018 20:39

There must be a massive backstory here. No one cuts contact with their parents and doesn’t give them their address on a whim.

RossPoldarksFloozie · 28/08/2018 20:41

We argued because she doesn’t want to come to a family event I wanted her to go to. I feel like she never puts us first.

You need to cut those apron strings, she's 24 and has her own life FFS. I'm astounded you text her friends too, you sound very controlling and if you're not careful she'll block you from her life forever!

Rebecca36 · 28/08/2018 20:42

It was selfish of you to insist she attend a family dinner when she didn't want to.

Why do mothers so often delight in calling their children selfish?

Take a look in the mirror.

Contacting her friends is dreadful! Your daughter is a grown woman. It's a good thing she doesn't still live 'at home'.

Joysmum · 28/08/2018 20:55

Sounds like she’s doing the right thing. Do her a favour and leave her alone.

At least by contacting her friends you’ve shown yourself up as batshit crazy so her friends realise she’s best off further distancing herself from you.

AynRandTheObjectivist · 28/08/2018 21:00

Why do mothers so often delight in calling their children selfish?

Fathers do it all the time too. Mine did, and many other things too. I find it astonishing that a parent could call their child disgusting names, while a) bleating on about how badly their child is treating them and b) not understanding what in the actual fuck this does to the relationship. Not understanding precisely what it does to a person when their own mother or father calls them foul names, as if their parental duty doesn't cover this.

It's not a man/woman thing. It's a 'fool who thinks their children owe them something' thing. It's a 'became a parent for the wrong reasons and doesn't understand how it works' thing.

whatwouldkeithRichardsdo2 · 28/08/2018 21:00

I feel upset and outraged just reading this. My awful mother did the same to me. Leave her alone. She is 24. You don't own her and she doesn't owe you anything unless she chooses. And I say that because you sound demanding and controlling.

Do you think it's normal to not know your own child's address? It isn't. But it is an outcome of your behavior.

Leave her alone and stay out of her friendships.

Clutterbugsmum · 28/08/2018 21:07

What exactly do you like about your daughter as nothing you write is about her it all YOU.

No wonder she slowly been cutting you out of her life, as probably so much less stressful then trying to live up your demands.

NotBeforeCoffee · 28/08/2018 21:20

You are going to lose the relationship entirely if you carry on like this.
She won't tell you her address... says a lot. I bet you've been calling her horrible names for a long time.
Think about what you actually add to her life? Anything positive?

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